Phone Sex
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Hello....What do you have on.....your Mind?
Have you ever tried phone sex? No.....I don't mean a phone shaped like a penis or vagina.....I mean talking to the person on the other end of the line and telling them what you have on your mind. Specifically the things that sexually arouse and please you and conversely the things you would like to please them with.
It's not as easy as you might think....just as having real sex is not as simple as bam bam thank you mam. Having phone sex takes an ability to communicate and it helps if you have a vivid imagination. I've written a hub about communication, a hub about oral sex and a hub answering sexual questions, but good phone sex is like a combination of all these rolled up in one.
I'm not going to give you any verbatim dialogue here for fear of being banned from Hubpages forever....and there is no verbatim dialogue that works for everyone. Everyone is different in what turns them on sexually....OK...women are....there I said it. Men are stimulated by just waking up in the morning.....and it lasts all day. So this is not going to be a difficult thing for you ladies.....you just have to show up basically....but if you practice it can make it better for your man as well. Imagine...he gets a phone call from you when he's away on a business trip...he's all alone in his hotel room...and probably already thinking about how much he misses you. Perfect time for you to pick up the phone and say something like....."I was just sitting here thinking about you and missing you....and I'm so achy for you.....I'm here in the tub all naked and I wish you could see what I'm doing". OK... I gotta stop that right there....but you get the idea. A little spice in the old love life might just be the thing you've been looking for.....we all like variety...OK...I do and I just assume everybody else does too. I'm wishing I had that phone call right now.
Men.....this might not come as first nature to you...but you can do it too. Now don't just go calling random numbers.....someone's husband might object. Call your lady and start the conversation with something like " You know I was just thinking about the other night when we were making love and I wanted to tell you how much I love it when you..........and I'd like to be ........right now. I can't wait til I.........again. As a matter of fact I'm touching.........right now."
You can practice some of the things you want to say to her before you make that call.....you need to make it good...especially if you want to ever get the chance for a repeat performance. Avoid the short succinct "I just want to F*** you right now......it'll be over quicker than the real thing. You need to build up slowly...create some interest and mystery.....but don't be afraid to tell each other what, where and how you want them to touch. If you both enjoy this and are able to have great orgasms then you've just added another spice to your repertoir. Anyway it beats the heck out of sitting there horny...missing someone and masturbating alone.....not that there's anything wrong with that......just saying.....
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Especially if he is "HARD" at work....Now why and how would you call yourself....I'm going to have to think about this nuance a bit.....I guess...two phone lines...and it goes something like "hello handsome/gorgeous....I was just thinking about you....I'm sitting here naked""
This brings back memories absolutely! LOL Good thing Skype and webcams have been invented! But you do sound to be an expert on this um endeavor! Thanks for sharing, fun read! :D
I think any one engaged in a long distance relationship must have experienced this!
Cris....I'm absolutely sure this brings back memories for you!!! I personally have no knowledge of such behavior....was all theory for me. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Gypsy Willow....yeah...sometimes it starts with an innocent conversation.....and ends in steamy passion...albeit less fulfilling than the real thing....steamy nonetheless.
My My...the things one can learn/find out here on the Hubs...Theory huh? I bet?..Hope you are having a fulfilling week-end...:O) Hugs
Enough to make a nun blush isn't it G-Ma
R Blue, that was fun to read! You sound like a true expert ... just sayin' :-)
LMAO...just listened to I Like Clowns..OMG...and yes am blushing..:O) and ssshhhh...:O) Hugs
Elena....it's looking like I'm going to have to plead the 5th amendment on that one.....the one about not incriminating onesself.
G-Ma...I'm glad someone found that clowns bit...I thought it was pretty funny.
Funny hub - and what was with the clown prank? Ai-ai-ai! But on a serious note, spontaneous deeds such as this are important - especially if things are getting a little ho-hum. I've found, too, that my husband mysteriously gets out of work early after my calls! ;)
LOL...Azur ....I'll just bet he does.....it's called incentive!!
Hmmm... you just gave me an idea! Do you think he'd catch on if instead of "for the tenth time, will you please mow the lawn?" I say "I fantasized last night about you mowing the lawn with your shirt off..."???
Wait just a minute.....You ladies have enough power already....now don't go abusing it....and yes....it'd work....LOL
My husband and I have phone sex it keeps the home fires burning, I love it has it is part of a strong relatinship. It isn't wham bam thank you mam, lololo :)
That's just what I was sayin AE.....a lucky man you have there.
Thank you AEvans, being closer is more fun with phone sex!!! I totally agree.. R - got it fixed.. I think!!
Lol I had a g/f that was into phone sex, unfortunately the relationship ended when the telephone bill arrived. Although she deff was worth the money ; )
Hey Candie....we'll try it again.
BC......too funny...but glad it was worth it.
Yes phone sex, LMAO, Skype came to mind straight away. Mmm it can be very frustrating too, as you just want to reach through and grab that person and you can't for people who are not in relationships.
So, where were we, ah phone sex.. yes. It is tough, I agree with Blonde.
Wow thanks Candie another woman who agrees, yes very frustrating indeed. Wanting and desiring someone you can probably never have or meet. The tormenting world of cyber sex. I def prefer to indulge in flesh to flesh.
But the frustration is half the fun! The more frustrated you make each other the more mind-blowing the one-on-one will be later!
This is fact - I have done research! :)
In the absence of being able to....ahem as you say BP...flesh-on-flesh.....a bit of phone or cyber sex can brighten your day....and even spice up a dull relationship even when you can do the horizontal boogie. As Azur Moon Wolf says...it can make the one-on-one more mind blowing later. Yes there is a certain amount of frustration in phone and cyber sex.....but it beats the heck out of beating it at home alone.
RBlue, you silver tongued devil..beating it at home.. let's make it a little more romantic, add some candles and soft music!
I had to wait for this thing to cool off before I could get over here. Man, R. Blue. Don't hold back. Give us the no holds barred version......
lol @ Candie. As usual.
Now this brings back some fond memories! And No - I'm not sharing!
Excellent ideas Candie...I think I'll send my hand some roses while I'm at it!
LM.....You may have to use a pot holder to handle your mouse....I try not to hold back too much.....just enough to not get booted.
Nanny....awwww,,,c'mon....just between U N me.
Well i had phone sex with this women for over a year every night like clockwork. It was so hot ,not much talking but a lot of moans and growns. Talked all night till the battery on phone went dead. The next morning the phone company called said that they had detected a bad conndection in my phone line. They said that they were sending a credit on next phone bill for the interrupted service. also a sevice repaire person would be over to check out the problem. A look of disapointment came over my face as i wanted to aske the operatior but what about the phone call last night? and all the nights before. As i got ready for work ,I just could not get last nights phone call out of my head. When the door bell rang and I answered the door the look of disapointment changed to a total excitement that showed only by a little smile. The service repaire person wearing a tight red jump suite. Pleasent sweet voice just as the phone calls said I heard you have a service problem.
tomdhum...sounds like the makings of an interesting hub
Some things are better done than said
Funny Mike....agreed....but helps if you heat the pan before you throw the meat in.
Blue Dear - I've heard that line before!!!! You, Me and every buddy you've got that you want to impress. LOL!!!!
Besides - doesn't someone else here on Hubs have first rights? SOmething about a pirate ship? - I'm still learning who's who.
Surely they don't really boot people off around here?
Very informative article.
What to add. There are lollipops as props too, did ya know? Randy took care of that.
Nanny.....You been talking to BC ???? He steals all my ideas....and all my wimmin.
LM......Hubs have been pulled for less I'm sure
GT.....come on you can do better than that....You could probably teach a class in phone sex....with your imagination....
Jewels....Don't get me started on Randy's lollipops.....good props indeed.
True Azur but what if you don't meet you are going to die from the pain lol.
I have had sex through the mail. Anything is welcome in a long distance relationship... :)
Nope haven't talked to BC - thanks for the idea tho!
I would add that IM can be fun as well - even if you're in two different rooms. You never know when one or the other will give in!! It's a win-win kind of thing!
When I say very informative article.....I am taking the fifth on this one.
i have a question?I had a threesome with two woman on the phone.one who had happened to be my ex girlfriend.they climaxed does that count as a threesome?
i have a question?I had a threesome with two woman on the phone.one who had happened to be my ex girlfriend.they climaxed does that count as a threesome?
ROFL andrew way to go I reckon it comes pretty close.
What is the fifth ? I am going to google it lool.
Good morning all....sorry for not getting back to you all sooner....the work thing is constantly getting in the way of my fun.
Nanny.....you always gotta love a win-win....different rooms IMing...now thats unique.
LOL @ GT.....Maybe we need to get you an alter ego...so you can speak to the masses.
Andrew....my man....it counts as 1 and a half.....sorry....you still haven't fulfilled every man's fantasy...but keep trying. Now if you had actually gotten them to come over.....now that would have counted.....and R. Blue would be green with envy.
BP.....pleading the fifth in US means the 5th amendment to the US constitution...gives us the right not to testify against ourselves....non incrimination......kinda like (she) "do I look fat in these jeans?"(he) ....."oh look dear.....a squirrel just fell out of the tree."
Bluey How on earth do you get off typing one handed! Great hub. Stimulating thoughts and words. I guess when you are wrong in a hub like his you get to eat your words so to speak! LOL
This hub is so stimulating, I got to double post - one handed!
One handing it is second nature to me sixty....lots and lots of practice
lmao you had me with penis shaped phone :)
Janetta....thanks.....I've got to make some prototypes.
awesome hub. was a great read. nicely done.
OhmyGod, I have done this so often...I had a friend who was amazing at it. So wonderfully descriptive and deliciously naughty. I always tell people not to knock it till you try it but I think only word lovers can truly appreciate it. Very enjoyable read!!
Oh,ladies and gentlemen, why don't you try the video sex?
You can do that with MSN or other chat software.
Maybe it's more exciting than the phone sex :P
Moonchild.....I totally agree....it takes a certain degree of talent to do it well. Thanks for stopping by....check out my hub "Intercourse" as well...along the same lines...about communication.
Fisher..... Yeah Video is good too...but doesn't take as much talent....show me yours...and I'll show you mine.....some moaning and groaning. Not as good as the real thing ...but better still than nothing. Skype also has video.
The topic is phone sex. Looking at all the comments looks like we need to spice it up a little. The comments were a little like mash potatoes without salt and pepper. Well enough about scoulding. Oh that just gave me a thought! This phone sex thing opens up some doors to experience new and different things. Well who am I kidding new and different lets just say naughty. I was written up at work for a production error. My boss sent me home for a day without pay.. She told me she would be calling me latter to informe me of any furthure discipline. Latter that day the phone rang and she told me I would have to work much harder to keep my job. I told her I would do anything to keep my job. Her voice became more demanding and forcefull. Being put in this position of being helpless was makeing me excited. She told me to kneel down on the floor. For now add your own spices. LOTS OF LOVE
That's really Good tomdhum......anyone want to run with that one? You should go ahead and make it a hub.
The next day I phoned in sick I had Knee monia!
That's a good one sixty....gotta remember that.
I be LMAO too much for phone sex.
Having sex with another person without really having sex? Is this what phone sex is really about? Are we moving towards a era when we will have a machine we can step into an have the ultimate sexual explosion. Anyone remember the woody allen movie where they had this type of machine. You could experience your ultimate pleasures without a partner. Have we become so seperated from our own emotions and the emotions of others that we could indulge ourself in such a machine or for now phone sex and be satisfied.
Mayhmong...where you been girl???
tomdhum......I don't know about all that but I'm definitely buying stock in the company that comes up with that machine. And yes....I still prefer the personal touch.
Hey Blue course I still like ya now bend over and prepare for a spanking I notice you arent on Skype nomore, I see Candie there but not you lol
I'm there...will try you in a few minutes. I see you there but says you're not on. Blondy...right?
Haha, don't forget to protect the mouth piece. ;D
GM/Ixxy....Phone Condoms = Safe Sex
Funny! Its really a safe way. But I just wonder, is there really satisfaction doing it thru phone?
If you can't be with the one you love....at least you can talk to them on the phone.
Candie V says:
7 months ago
Well look at you typing in the wee hours were ya?? I've thought about calling myself, and really I did try once, but the line was busy. So, back to your hub... Yes, well.. there is a finesse to all this and it sure could spice stuff up like when you decide to call when your guy is hard at work and you tell him you'd like to be under his desk.....