Pigeons. And Why They Make Great Pets
80Pets. Life's Not The Same
Living in a city and a foreign country means I’m without my cat. However, I’m pragmatic by nature and put some thought into how to get round this issue. And it came to me … Lo’ as if by the Hand of Frog. Pigeons. Make perfect pets.
And I'm going to tell you why.
Pigeons
Pigeons As Pets
I happened upon this because ultimately I need a low maintenance pet. A no mess no fuss low cost beast. Something that wouldn’t require a lot of input. And wouldn’t have a horrible smoking habit
My answer arrived in the shape of two pigeons. A married couple. And yes – all pigeons are married couples. Single pigeons do occur but that’s not intentional. It’s only ever because they’re widowed. In case you were wondering.
Pigeon society is fully geared towards strong partnerships. No one gets left on the shelf. Everyone gets a free apartment. Free food. And the right to vote. It’s flocking brilliant.
Pigeonry in motion is a beautiful thing.
Pigeon. Porn.
Anyway – I digress. My pigeons. They landed on my sill one day. They drew my attention because they were engaged in lewd behaviour. He wanted her. She wanted him.
I was idly fascinated. I’d never admit to being fully fascinated because no doubt that points to some kind of deviant behaviour. And I’m a lot of things.
But I’m not into pigeon porn.
Flirting
Sex. Women. And Birds.
And so there they were. Flirting and flapping. Him all amorous. Her twice as much - but feigning innocence. It’s a wimmin thing guys. We want you. We don’t. We do. We don’t.
We do. We do. We do. Only we like to make you wonder.
It’s a girl/bird thing. Chicks. You know?
Pet Names
Pet Names. Always Appropriate.
It was right around this point that I named them. She suddenly decided to full on signal she was ready. And that’s when he chose to bugger off. I shouted 'you bastard' at him. And accused her of being too much of a primadonna.
I threw her a cheap consolation prize – though this didn’t have the desired effect. She didn’t want bread. She wanted … something else. She also looked hot and bothered so I thought I’d help her.
I popped the fan near the window and switched it on to cool her down. Unfortunately I blew her off the sill.
Oops ...
Pigeon Training
Madonna And YB
After a day or two Madonna and You Bastard returned. I think they’d got over their tiff. They whispered and giggled and he did some fine and fancy strutting. Life was – a little less peckish.
From this point, I developed an understanding twixt me and my pigeon pets. I fed them, they played nice – and only ever crapped on the Zombie/passing cars/everywhere else – and never around/by/on me.
Madonna. Number Two That Is
Pet Ownership
Having grown rather fond of them and because they are fully aware that I hold dominion (mentioned a time of two … I’m a benevolent Frog) we three [now] get along just fine. You Bastard understands that slapping his chick about isn’t cool and Madonna has learned that flashing her junk and being too demanding doesn’t get you anywhere fast.
Unless of course you’re the 2ndreal Madonna … not the mother of Big J guys – the modern day singer/songwriter/material girl.
Pet Inventory
And so, this brings me nicely to my inventory. Reasons why pigeons make great pets:
- They’re part time pets. Kennels and catteries (or nice neighbours) not required at vacation time
- They don’t pee on your plants or crap in the bath tub
- They’re not choosy about what they eat. Kibble/ bread crumbs … they’ll take whatever you’re offering
- They never sneak into your bed
- Car
- Or shopping bags
- They’re self grooming
- Make no attempt to assassinate anything smaller than they
- And don’t chew the table legs
- They don’t need flea powder
- Wormers
- Or expensive trips to the vet
- They never hump your grannies leg
- Sit under the table while you’re eating
- Or drink from the toilet
Come to think of it ... pigeons have far higher standards/abilities than your average domestic pet. Cats notwithstanding. Cats aren't really pets are they? They're extra terrestrials in furry form. You didn't know that.
Did you? Another hub. Another day ...
No One Reported Ford. And This WAS Cruel.
Pet Peeves
And they absolutely never:
- Lie
- Steal
- Sulk
- Smoke
- Or want to play scrabble
Yes guys. Pigeon pets rock. Grab yourself a one. Or two (they come in pairs … ) They’re abundant. They’re a whole lot of fun. And when you’re really bored of them and decide to stop taking care of them … or move … or change your mind and want a pet rock or something …
… You’ll find that no one reports you for cruelty to animals. In fact – no one will even notice/ show interest/ give a monkey’s.
Frog fact #66
Pigeon Poll
Frog. Amazing. About the pigeons. I mean you're ... well ...
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Comments
Candie - pick a pigeon. Seriously great part-time pets :) I almost love mine. I'm getting kind of fond of Madonna. She's so cute a silly.
And yes. Trendsetting. Or maybe we should rename that frogsetting ;)
Actually Candie - they're incredibley intelligent. More than most realise and usually just written off as sky-rats!
Now I find rats to be quite intelligent. As a matter of fact, they are my preferred pet. Have them ride on your shoulder or hide them in a deep pocket. Ratty Roo is my favorite pet! (I am also partial to frogs, but realize they are meant to be wild and not to be kept as pets)
haha!! Pigeon porn--Madonna and You Bastard--'Big J' HAHAAHAHA love it! your choices in pets always amuses me. Haven't you ever thought of a goldfish???
FD, there's been an ominous silence on the Kevin front lately...whatever happened to him? And can pigeons really take his place? :P
Great hub! Makes a lot of horse ... err, frog sense. Reminds me of a couple of squirrels who became pets in a fairly similar manner.
The squirrels were even better in that they did not keep hanging around on the window sill - or the balcony, in their case. But any time I ventured out on to it, they'd come scurrying from the trees in the garden to meet and greet; and they'd just love eating out of one's hands once the trust had been established.
After a bit of fooling around and providing some entertainment they'd disappear and leave a guy to his own Madonna# 2 or 3 or whoever ... but then frogdroppings might not pursue such interests! :p
Paper - I rather like rats and me and my kids have owned four in the past. Three girls and one boy. The boy was great. Lived in one of my sons' beds. Reasons known only to my son and his rat.
Janetta - I've had many a fish over the years. But due to my Bengals ... it was cruel. They just became cat TV. Usually died of shock from being stared at constantly ...
Feline - Kevin is alive and well. Buggering about and about due his Dinner. Never fear, he's not far away. Unfortunately.
Jaspal - good day to you :) Yes frogsense is the key to life. The universe. And something.
And I like squirrels. Spent three winters feeding one. Lovely semi-tame little thing she was.
Paper - I rather like rats and me and my kids have owned four in the past. Three girls and one boy. The boy was great. Lived in one of my sons' beds. Reasons known only to my son and his rat.
Janetta - I've had many a fish over the years. But due to my Bengals ... it was cruel. They just became cat TV. Usually died of shock from being stared at constantly ...
Feline - Kevin is alive and well. Buggering about and about due his Dinner. Never fear, he's not far away. Unfortunately.
Jaspal - good day to you :) Yes frogsense is the key to life. The universe. And something.
And I like squirrels. Spent three winters feeding one. Lovely semi-tame little thing she was.
And I thought they were useful only to send clandestine love letters and war communiques. I enjoyed the Hub.
bala - ahhhh but there's a lot more to pigeons that carrying clandestine messages. Trust me - I watch Madonna and You Bastard enough to know that ;)
And thankyou :)
Delightful and entertaining hub, even if some people still refer to pigeons as "rats on wings."
And then in the end you can eat them. Tried pigeon pie ?
Jerilee - ah yes. Skyrats. A bit undeserved and all that but you know - sticks and stones ... And thankyou :)
ethel - hey :) Errr lol nope. Can't see me eating either Madonna or YB. They look a bit stringy for one. Besides, I can't eat anything that I feel fond about.
Otherwise I'd have eaten the Dragon a long time ago ...
I'm so glad I came across this great hub! Made me laugh repeatedly-love the visuals and pigeon porn bit :)
Thanks!
Sharing - hey :) Nice to see you ... and great! I aim to please. And other various happy type stuff ...
Well you certainly do, and nice to see you too. I look forward to reading more of your hubs, even more so if its happy type stuff :)
Sharing - trust me on this - I'm full of useless information and happy crap :) If it's attached to the Book Of Frog ...
When I lived in Las Vegas I worked at an Animal Hospital and one local brought in 3 baby pigons that had fallen out of the nest and was deserted by the momma. I worked the midnight shift and was told they had to be fed every 2 - 3 hours or they would die. I did just that and in the morning I left. When I came back later that night their was only 1 left. I asked what happened. The head vet said they just didn't have time to feed them so I decided I'd take the surviving one home with me. It was a ugly little thing but me and the family took turns ins feeding it every 2 hours around the clock for 2 weeks. It grew and grew. Finally when it was about 4 weeks old I took it outside hoping "Tweekers" would fly away and live happily ever after. Well about 15 minutes later we heard peaking at the door. I opened it and in walked Tweekers. He refused to leave, we were his family I guess. He was an awesome pet. However we decided to move back home to michigan and we couldn't take him so I placed him in a pigon resort. We all miss him very much. He was the kewlest pet and we even had him potty trained.
having a pigeon for pet reminds me of what my autistic son would do. He is quite odd but very intelligent.
Pigeon porn? LOL
Froggy, you and your hubs never cease to amaze, delight and surprise me!
AIM - that's a fab story! How great you saved one of the three! Maybe you could write a hub about Tweekers. Not many folks would have devoted the time or care to an abandoned pigeon. Kudos to you and yours. An animal's an animal when it's in need :)
Asher - I've both known and worked with autistic kids. Lovely kids. And yes, intelligent too. Unfortunately just locked up. I hope you and your son have a great life together Asher :)
Irohner - that has to be the comment of the day. Thankyou very much. I surprise myself sometimes. With the amount of crap I can come up with. Entirely natural too ...
Wow, I will never look at the pigeons of the world the same. Very creative story, it makes for a entertaining hub.
ohhhhhhh I want one FD, never thought of it before xox
Ashely - go go go ... get a pigeon lol! Cheap, free and readily available ;)
blonde ... almost as good as my pet rock. Honest ...
Pigeon porn is against Google AdSense policies. I hope you know that. YB just reported you. I think he is still pissed that you called him YB. His *real name* is Max.
-ahem- and Kevin doesn't mind the umm, pigeons hanging around your house?
Shiba - it is huh? Well I wasn't graphic. No nude pictures or videos ... and that's his real name? Who gave you the inside info ...
AIDY - hey :) He doesn't care. He 'knows' he's number one. He says ...
"... and that's his real name? Who gave you the inside info ... "
It is a pigeon secret. Most of them are called Max. They are pissed that we co-opted their favorite name for our dogs. They tell me that they don't like dogs much - except for me of course :) I let them bathe in my drinking water.
And no nudes? I could have sworn those pigeons did not have a stitch of clothing on them. :D
Shiba - someones messing with your mind. probably the pigeons ... it's a very secret society you see.
Andd you're not a dog. You're a dog-owner. Bit of a difference ...
lol
very nice hub lot of good info
Lgali - and all true. Mostly. Some. None ;)
i love a pigeon and i have two with me and your hub might make me to own more than what i have
swathin - hey again :) They are (in my opinion) a bit cheeky and a lot of fun. I was out feeding some yesterday - they were landing on my hands and taking bread from my fingers. Loads of fun!
great article
Frog, it seems you've had an assortment of pets over the years. The hubs seem to come from a vast amount of life experience. :) If it wasn't you I'd ask how many people had worked on this story before it assumed its final form, but because it's you I just say,
A phenomenal hub as always. :)
Ah lol I am taking your comment as a feedback. And not as a slight assumption that I may have a personality disorder. Like - maybe there's three people residing in one frog kind of thing :)
Thankyou Pacal, as always - FD
lol frog, no personality disorder I can detect. :) I was thinking of professional stand-up comedians whose stuff is written for them by a team.
Ahhhhh lol. I think I'm a mobile comedy show. You'd laugh at some of the incredibly dumb stuff that falls out of my mouth. The type of thing that has people sat there saying 'whut?!'. I must tell you sometime about some of the really stupid things I've come out with :)
Absolutely delightful to read your post aloud - Ernie and I needed a good laugh!
I'm recommending it to my auntie who's in the hospital for ankle reconstruction, but not the friend recovering from abdominal surgery. ;-)
Look forward to reading more of your posts, and thanks for the ray of sunshine.
Erica - what a lovely comment, thankyou --- I hope your aunt and friend regain their health as per their doctors orders :)
Candie V says:
4 months ago
Oh Lookie! I'm first! L.O.V.E.D. the video!! So you've found the perfect pets! I'm so happy for you I could burst! Not everyone sees the potential in these humble creatures, but YOU did! You've already established yourself as a trend setter, here you go, taking another giant frog-leap forward!