Poems-About-Loss-Of-Loved-Ones

How can you find the right words to express how you feel about the loss of a loved one? A parent, a granparent, a brother, a friend....

Recently I was again reminded of how precious life is when my best friend's mother passed away.

My friend and I have been friends since we were about seven and we have shared so much of our lives with each other.

Her mother was a wonderful lady and like a second mother to me.

Through watching and participating in the plans for the funeral arrangements I became acutely aware of what things mattered the most.

There were the flowers, the pamphlets, the writing of the eulogy, the choosing of the music, but the one thing that stood out the most was the need to find something fitting, beautiful and comforting to say that expressed what the family felt at this time, and what would be a lasting tribute to their loved ones memory.

They decided to use a memorial poem.

There are literally hundreds of beautiful poems about the loss of loved ones but after a couple of days looking through a considerable collection, they decided on this one by Henry Scott Holland.

All Is Well

Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,

Speak to me in the easy way which you always use

Put no difference in your tone,

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household world that it always was,

Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,

Just around the corner.

All is well.

The actual process of finding this poem was something that also really helped the family.

Going through all the poems, reading them, understanding them, identifying with them, helped them a lot through this trying time.

It got me thinking back to a time when I was thirteen.

I had just lost my beloved grandmother and I was having a hard time accepting the loss as we had been very close.

I remember one night trying to piece together the whole "loss" thing, and even though I knew I couldn't see her anymore, I still felt very strongly that she was with me....and still do to this day.

So that night I sat down and wrote a poem to my grandmother.....and even though it was so long ago now, I still remember it.

I'm certainly no poet, but it made me realize the power and comfort memorial poetry can have whether you write it yourself, or if you are just reading someone else's.

To My Grandma

My eyes can no longer see your smile,

Yet my heart still feels its warmth

My ears can no longer hear your voice,

Yet your words of wisdom are etched into every day

I can no longer hold your hand,

Yet it still guides my every step

What we see, hear, touch is only temporary

What we feel and learn and love is eternal...

You are always with me

This can be a very daunting task. But if you practice before hand it can help.

My friend didn't say the eulogy at her mother's funeral but she did deliver the poem.

She practiced reading the poem quite a few times before hand, both by herself with a tape recorder and in front of the family.

She also found it helpful to rewrite the text in a fashion where certain words were bolder or written phonetically in sections where she wanted to give emphasis or with words she tended to trip up on.

Having someone stand by your side when you speak can also give you a little more security and support.

My own Mother has been in and out of hospital for cancer operations over the last ten years. She's thankfully in remission at the moment.

Before the first time she went into hospital she called me aside and said that she had a envelope in her dresser, which had a list of requests she would like at her funeral.

This wasn't exactly the sort of thing I wanted to hear, or even talk about with her as she entered hospital for major surgery, but as she wasn't sure whether she would be coming home she had put some thought into what poems, bible verses and music she would like at her funeral.

Every time she has gone into hospital, she reminds me of the envelope.

Even though it's something I don't like thinking about, the fact that I know it's there is comforting in a way.....and it was a very kind and considerate thing to do for her family.