Preparing Our Children

Protecting ourselves, protecting our children,

Preparing ourselves, preparing our children

I was recently at a relative's house and the discussion of the NBC show "To catch a predator" began. As some of the guests know I do emergency response planning and have written about"Preparing to prepare", I was asked my opinion and what I have done for my two children, and what they could, can, do for their young child. When ever I have been asked about this subject, I stress that I am not trying to be scary, gruesome, or paranoid about the subject at hand, I am trying to be a realist, a person who sees what is real and factual and therefore manageable.

I wish to share my thoughts with you, on the subject of preparing our children. By no means is this brief column a 100% solution, but it is a start. I asked the couple if they have ever talked open and honestly to their four (4) year old about the subject of "There are people who are bad"? The mother understandably said she did not want to scare her son and thought telling him would upset him and make him afraid of adults. A very good point, and a valid concern, I told her. But, "How would feel if you had to identify your child's body at the morgue or worse, you child disappears......and you never knew why?" Even scarier and more upsetting to imagine, isn't it?

The purpose of preparing you children is not about scaring them or making them afraid of the world, it is about making yourself realize that there are people who would wish to do you, your spouse, your family, and yes, sadly, your children harm. We see the news and we are shocked that someone could hurt a child, but it proves to us that there are people who do not value life and the innocence of a child means nothing to them.

As parents we must be involved in the process, we cannot pass our responsibility off. We must watch our children, we must know where they are, we must ask our children questions. We cannot simply hope for the best. Ninety percent of the time nothing will ever go wrong, we know that. But we must be willing to prepare ourselves, our family, and our children to manage and control the other ten percent.

I related that I have always made it a point to tell my children the truth about the world. I have told my children that everyone is not like Mommy and Daddy (M/D) and that some people are mean and could hurt them. I explain calmly, note CALMLY, that some people who are strangers, (people who mommy and daddy do not introduce them to), would not help them and could hurt them.

I let them know that if stranger talks to them let M/D know. That no one touches their private areas, no one. If someone does, and tells them it is a secret, to tell M/D, because we like secrets to. That they never go help anyone look for something; like a little lost dog without getting M/D to help also. That M/D would like to help the stranger find what they are looking for also.

Keep in mind dear reader, that when the children are little and playing at the park; MOM AND/OR DAD MUST BE THERE. Having an older brother or sister watch the younger is not always a good solution. The older sibling may lack the maturity required.

I also have stressed to my children to never, never get into a car to show someone the directions to a destination. I have explained to my children that even getting close to the car to point out a direction, or to look at directions for the lost driver was not to be done, because the driver could be someone who could pull them into the car and take them away. So do not go near strangers cars.

If someone comes by their school or playground and says M/D told them to pick them up that there should be a code word, or if they have a cell-phone to call and confirm the change of plans. Call to confirm plans, call to say "I was thinking of you, whatcha' doin'?" Find out where your children are going, who will be there.

If they are walking and someone tries to grab them; then they should have a fit, scream, rant, rave, yell, make a scene to create attention to the situation. If the person says they have a knife or gun and will kill you if you are not quiet; then tell them, yell at them, scream at them, "Kill me!!!" again create attention, 99% of the strangers will run, they do not want to be seen or to be caught.

If for some reason a friend is taken away in a car; do the following; remember the color of the car, what kind of car was it? SUV, small, truck, mini-van, what is the first digit of the license plate? Was it a man or a woman in the vehicle? I do not believe in asking for all the data, it is great if it can be remembered, but the minimal things to remember will help a lot.

If there is a party, where is it? Who is hosting the party? Are there going to be parents there, or are they going to go upstairs at 9PM? Do you know the parents; do you have directions to the house? Do your children know to call you, no questions asked, if things are getting out of hand?

For adults; especially our female readers, I am not being sexist, again, I am asking you to prepare yourself, to ask yourself, "What would I do, if xxx happened?"

As you walk from the mall to your car, it is late, there is not good lighting, there are not a lot of other shoppers around, ask yourself...."What would I do if someone stepped out and confronted me?" Do we walk around our car to make sure no one is hiding? Would we be afraid to ask for a security representative to watch us get into our vehicle safely? Are you prepared to rant, rave, scream, yell, and throw a fit, if necessary? Would you rather be safe or slightly embarrassed? Sadly, I think the fear of embarrassed would weigh in our decision process.

Dear readers, as in all my articles, I am asking you to prepare, to challenge your thoughts, to protect and to prepare yourself, but in this column, I am asking you to talk with your children, to prepare them to be prepared. I am asking you to allow your love of your children to override your concerns of upsetting your children. Be open, be honest, and above all be truthful.

This list and these suggestions are not all inclusive. The suggestions and the advice presented in this article are meant to help you dear reader. The ideas are here to assist you manage the 10% if the unknown. There are many techniques and plans to assist parents. Please share with me your thoughts on this, and any other columns I have written.

As always, this article is subject to your review, consideration, and comments.

Respectfully,

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