When first sitting down to write your wedding speech it may be a good idea to ask yourself why you have been asked to speak? Is it because you are expected to express good wishes or thanks, or because you are old and wise and expected to give advice, or because you are an extrovert and known for being humorous, because you are closely related to the other members of the family, or because you are a friend who has known the bride and groom for many years? The answer to this question may suggest to you what sort of speech to give.

 It is important to leave yourself enough time before the wedding in order to give much consideration as to what you would like to say, to do any research necessary, as well as to write your speech and to perform any last minute pruning. Remember, a few scribbled notes will not suffice.

Length of Speech It is important to decide the length of your speech before beginning to research and write it. Too short and it may seem rude, too long and it may bore the guests and dampen the proceedings. If you really can't decide, settle on about five minutes. As a rule of thumb, if the occasion is a very formal one it will demand a longer speech; an informal occasion is more flexible. Remember, your speech will reflect not only on those you are speaking about but upon yourself.

 Gathering Information Before even attempting to write your speech, take stock of the information you have to hand and see where the gaps occur. Only then should you set about researching in order to fill your speech out, make it interesting, witty, or whatever style of speech you would like to make. Beware, however, of drowning yourself in pages of notes. Panic will not be too far away if having collected all your information you have only a little time to write the speech. Begin your research by looking for ideas on which you can expound and expand. For instance, the theme of marriage itself is always popular. You could research ideas on the history of marriage and interesting marriage customs both here and abroad.

 In addition you could ask the parents of the bride and groom about their marriages. Did the marriage take place in wartime? Wearing similar clothes? With hundreds of guests? Enquire about the cake, photographer, transport, food, music, dancing, honeymoon destination, and first home. The living grandparents, uncles and aunts, may also have interesting stories about their weddings and marriages of friends, brothers, sisters and other relatives which took place in unusual or typically different circumstances in earlier days. The best time to get people to talk about themselves is when you are sitting around the table over a meal or having tea, and when they are relaxed and are not likely to be diverted by other activities. Remember here that some people do not like seeing you write down their words for it interrupts their flow of thought. If you have a poor memory you could slip away for a moment and write yourself a quick note. Alternatively use a small tape recorder so that you can join in the conversation without notetaking. Reactions to tape recording differ. 

From the family history you can learn about the family's ancestors, where they have lived and worked, where they met, their education, work skills, achievements, hobbies, and character. Personal anecdotes can be added. You will need to strike a balance between personal and general remarks. It would be unfortunate if you generalized a great deal and delivered a speech which could have been given at anybody's wedding, when the bride and groom have fascinating family histories. So make sure you persist even if your first enquiry produces no immediate result. You may find that the bride says, 'Don't bother to say anything about where I went to school and where we met. It's not really interesting.' If one of your subjects doesn't provide you with information, ask another. You might discover that someone else such as the bride's mother has really interesting revelations about the bride. Maybe despite or because of failing 'O' levels she went on to become the first woman engineer at her college because her earlier setbacks had made her determined to prove that she could succeed. Make enquiries from both sides of the family. The discovery of the meaning of the family name may be news to the other side. And the countries all the grandparents came from could be quite interesting. But so is the fact that one or both families have lived in the same area for four generations. This is not the sort of news which would make the front pages of newspapers, but you can assume that on the day everyone will be interested in the bride and groom and their respective families. The profession of the bride or groom may provide speech matter. If your subject has academic qualifications you could ask such questions as, 'How long did it take you to get your degree?'; 'What subject is your PhD in?'; 'How long have you been a member of the Architect's Association?'; 'Where did you study for the bar?'; 'How does the fboa differ from the fsmc?'. If the bride or groom or their families or ancestors are famous, it might be worth your while looking them up in Who's Who, and similar reference works, of which there are many editions covering authors, scientists, theatrical personages, and royalty.