Well, the time has come to shed light on this controversial subject. I'm happy to be the one to trumpet the sad but true reality that is Internet Phone Service, along with the many grave dangers of enlisting this dubious technology in your home or business. Without further ado, let the exposé begin.

1. Saving Money

Yup, you heard right. It always starts with putting a few pennies in a jar, then, just like that, those pennies turn to dollars, and before you know it, you have a fully funded IRA on your hands. And so it goes with this ghastly internet phone phenomonon. First, they slap you with NO start-up fee. Then, on your very first phone bill, there are absolutely NO hidden charges or EXTRA FEES of any kind (and good luck to find any extra charges on the rest of your bills either...!) I mean, where will this stop? With all of this pansy "savings" crap, it won't be long before we're all just driving around in Maseratis, sipping great wine, and going on long, expensive vacations.

2. Free Features and Voicemail

And of course, just when you you've come to terms with saving all that money, they add insult to injury by throwing in all kinds of extra features and functionality, FOR FREE! This is just the kind of thing that gets my blood boiling. Who do these people think they are throwing around all of these highly desirable and powerful features as if they're better than us just because they give it away for free? I mean, in the old days, it was acceptable to settle issues like this with a good ol' fashion punch in the nose, and I don't know about you, but if I could get my hands on 'em, thats exactly what I would do.

3. Unlimited Local and Long Distance

Remember the good old days when men were men, goils was goils, and a phone bill was truly a phone bill, instead of some left leaning list of free features and extremely low priced calls? Remember all those cute little 3 and 4 letter acronyms that stood for God only knows what, that we used to look forward to paying extra for each month? Well Mister (or Miss) you can just kiss-it-all-good-bye with internet phone service. What you get now is this flimsy little piece of paper that tells you you're paying the same thing you paid last month, and the month before that, which as it turns out, is the same price of the plan you actually signed up for (instead of being $20 more in hidden charges like we got with the real phone company) with no cute little extra acronyms or taxes to pay for. You get my point, I mean we're going to hell in a handbasket here and the internet phone providers are packin' the sandwiches.

4. Flexibility

All I have to say is, internet phone companies are liberals, and liberals love to travel. I mean why else would they invent the kind of phone service that you pick up and take with you wherever you go? Whether it's unplugging the ATA in your previous home and plugging it back in at your new residence, or taking your laptop on the road with softphone (an obvious ploy to avoid paying honest to goodness hotel rates for phone calls, like real Americans) these light in the loafer techno-sissies just have to run around with their low cost phone service wherever the hell they go. Where I come from, this kinda thing is considered unnatural in the eyes of God, if you know what I mean...

5. Power Outages

Allbeit a minor detail, hardly worth mentioning, its only fair to point this out. Basically, once in a blue moon, every 3rd time that hell freezes over, you may have a power outage. And, since you, your daughter, and your dog, all have cell phones, maybe 2 if you count your husband's, and since power outages in my experience rarely last more than about 3 hours, this "problem" is about three cricket's butt-hairs south of being a non-issue. (Even though it is about the one and only closest thing to being a real "problem" with internet phone service that the detractors can bring.)

Summing Up

The fact is, internet phone service is ready for prime-time. It is much less expensive than regular phone service. It does have equal or greater sound and signal quality (if you select a reputable provider) and the only real remaining potential problem with it, as mentioned above, is the power outage argument. And frankly, that doesn't hold much water considering the widespread prevalance of cell phones. Often, a cheap, basic local landline in addition to internet phone service is still much less expensive option than using a landline for toll, long distance, and international calling.

So, on the question of Problems with Internet Phone Service, all I can say is, get over it.