Inspirational and Amusing Quotes on Women

Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal. ~William Shakespeare

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month I can be myself. ~Roseanne

A woman is like a tea bag: you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. ~Nancy Reagan

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. ~Elayne Boosler

A woman should be an illusion. ~Ian Fleming

Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weaknesses. ~Marie de Vichy-Chamrond

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. ~Oscar Wilde

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. ~Woodrow Wyatt

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally of dealing with men. ~Joseph Conrad

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage. ~Jules Barbey d'Aurevilley

Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him, they don't like him. ~Marlene Dietrich

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. ~Dave Barry

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. ~Bill Maher

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. ~Arnold Haultain

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~Charlotte Whitton

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. ~Chauncey Mitchell Depew

The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself. ~Elizabeth Metcalf

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. ~Oscar Wilde

Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked. ~Ovid

Women really do rule the world. They just haven't figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we're all in big big trouble. ~Doctor Leon

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man. ~George Meredith

Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls. ~Mignon McLaughlin

Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed. ~Cornelia Otis Skinner

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly. ~Sam Slick

I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm. ~Ogden Nash

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~Aristotle Onassis

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women. ~Elsa Schiaparelli

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. ~Oscar Wilde

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman. ~Alexandre Dumas

A woman should soften but not weaken a man. ~Sigmund Freud

If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? ~J.D. Salinger

The man's desire is for the woman; but the woman's desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man. ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

No woman wants to see herself too clearly. ~Mignon McLaughlin

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. ~Stanley Baldwin

I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out. ~George Eliot

Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves. ~Elissa Melamed

One is not born a woman, one becomes one. ~Simone de Beauvoir

Let us leave the beautiful women to men with no imagination. ~Marcel Proust

A woman's whole life is a history of the affections. ~Washington Irving

The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. ~Robert Graves

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being? ~Oscar Wilde

Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between. ~Mignon McLaughlin

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature. ~Stephen Stills

It is because of men that women dislike one another. ~Jean de La Bruyère

It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time. ~Tallulah Bankhead

A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful. ~Karl Kraus

Once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her. ~John Vanbrugh

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. ~Fran Lebowitz

Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention. ~Cornelia Otis Skinner

Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little. ~Samuel Johnson

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. ~James Thurber

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares. ~Elbert Hubbard

I hate women because they always know where things are. ~Voltaire

Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue. ~Hermione Gingold

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. ~H.L. Mencken