Here's an interview I did with Welsley back in 2006, for TheDabblingMum.com. It was back when I didn't write intros, but it's still a great interview! Quick and to the point. Filled with great advice. Enjoy!

What is the difference between a calling and one's desire to become something?

Proverbs 16:9 (NIV) In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

Calling is God's business. It's deeper, permanent, consistent, and unattainable through human effort. It begins with a yearning for God and His will and then unfolds, one surrendered moment at a time, into a life purpose and destiny. Personal ambition is the arch enemy of calling because it can look and feel like meaningful progress but it's inherent pride keeps one from allowing God to unlock sacred potential.

How can a parent, in today's world, share the gospel of Christ in order to help their children discover their God-given talent when they weren't raised Christians and are barely babies in their faith?

This is the beauty of the body of Christ. God never intended for parents to raise their children alone-without support, guidance and instruction.

The ancient Hebrews lived with extended family and neighbors and relied on their support to raise their family in the Torah. Proud Americans so value independence and convenience that we spend our days working for a beautiful home only to move into a spiritual vacuum. Paul says, in Titus 2:3-5 (NIV) "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. [4] Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children..." It might not take a village but it does take the family of God to help raise a child. Join a small group, a mother's group, a men's group and get to know the people at church who evoke your trust and respect and learn from them. But remember, seeking the churches support in raising your family does not mean that it is pastor or youth pastor's job to teach your children about God. Parents will always be their child's primary academic and spiritual influence. That's why Moses calls fathers not Sunday School teachers to teach children the Word of God.

Psalm 78:5-6 (NIV)

He decreed statutes for Jacob

and established the law in Israel,

which he commanded our forefathers

to teach their children,

[6] so the next generation would know them,

even the children yet to be born,

and they in turn would tell their children.

How can a parent, having trouble speaking with his/her teenage son reconnect?

First, let me say that some "trouble" communicating with your teen is normal and (take a deep breath) inevitable. God set it up so that as a child journeys into adulthood, he will at times find cause to assert his independence and pine away for more freedom. Conflict and tension are often the result as teens and parents clash on what are considered reasonable limits and boundaries. A sense of distance and even loss is also felt by the parent during this time as teens reject familiar child-like expressions of love and connection and seek new ways of relating to parents and the world. Hence occasions of dinner time sullenness. Like John the Baptist, this is a time for parents to decrease that our children might increase in personal responsibility and the exercise of authority over their lives.

Problems arise when our broken human nature reacts to these changes in hurtful ways. Instead of respectfully appealing for more freedom, a teen may break trust and rebel. Instead of giving a child as much freedom as he can handle responsibly, parents can become anxious, harsh and controlling. It's important to remember that a teen's quest for independence does not justify breaking family rules or abdicating personal responsibilities. Limits still need to be enforced.

To get some perspective, picture your teenager as a toddler again. His goal in life is to walk independently. He pulls himself up on a chair and stumbles forward. He gets angry at you when you pick him up. He pushes his sister down because she is in his way. He shouts and cries. Why? He is doing everything he knows how to do to grow up. Some of it isn't pretty. This is true of adolescents as well-they are learning to walk as adults.

So how do you connect or "re-connect" with a child who is viva la independence and freedom? First, you must ask a painful question. Who is it that needs to connect? Me or my child? Your child may not feel the same need to connect with you. Often when a parent stops pursuing, the child comes to the parent seeking reassurance.

Let me also say that during this turbulent season of parenting (Thank God, Jesus said, "this too shall pass!") a wide range of underlying problems may be responsible for "trouble speaking" and problems connecting. Blocks to communication may be attributed to resentment, fear, guilt, depression, misunderstanding, and fatigue. Many times, these problems are short-lived and simply disappear when attempts are made to reach out and respectfully talk-if a child is unwilling to connect for weeks at a time, a parent should seek out professional advice. Below are some simple points that may help you to reconnect.

• Find a neutral atmosphere-a drive in the car, a walk, an ice cream shop, or a video arcade.
• Avoid controversial subjects. Don't push the conversation. Let them lead. If they don't want to talk don't make them.
• Ask non-threatening questions that seek to affirm your teen: "Tell me about your friend Jim, he seems like a neat guy." "When is your band gonna play next?" "Where did you get that necklace it's awesome."
• Do something fun together. When my friend goes through a dry spell with his teens, he takes them on a monster roller coaster. He says that abject fear helps them forget how they weren't getting along ten minutes ago.

What is your hope for Raising Children On Purpose?

Our parenting can change the world! What a claim to make, especially when many of us are simply trying to find the energy to get off the couch and change the baby's diaper. Yet it's true. Our parenting, for better or for worse, will change the world. One hundred and fifty years ago, Abraham Lincoln said this about children:

A child is a person who is going to carry on what you have started... He will assume control of your cities, states, and nations. He is going to move in and take over your churches, schools, universities, and corporations... the fate of humanity is in his hands.

Not long from now, our kids will assume responsibility for our nations and churches. Will they bring positive change? Of particular concern to us, will they establish God's purposes for their generation? To a large extent, the answer depends on whether we raise them on purpose-their God-given Kingdom-purpose.

Visit Wesley H. Fleming at http://raisingchildrenonpurpose.com/

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