If you have ever had a stubborn child, you probably understand that raising them is not exactly going to be a cake walk. In many cases it is a balancing act where you are trying to teach them how to maintain their independence, and willfulness without thinking that they rule the world. In other words, as a parent you want to help your child keep their strong personality traits while not letting them get in the way.

So, what are some tips for the parent trying their best to raise a stubborn or willful child? Try the following:

First, as a parent you have to recognize that the children are going to be stubborn as a part of their nature. Thus, you should not try to change them, but rather embrace their personality and find ways to use it to your advantage in raising them. A stubborn child can be far easier to raise then you may suspect if you can learn how to use their willfulness to your advantage. For example, the "You can't make me," phase can be difficult, but if it is, "You can't make me go to bed until I brush my teeth." Then as a parent you can celebrate.

Second, learn how to change the dynamic. Sometimes when you have a really stubborn child, the best way to get your child's support and attention is to change the dynamic. This means that if you are at the doctor's office and your child refuses to hold still for their shots, then reschedule, and next time have the other parent take them. In some cases just having a different person be there for a difficult situation can make things better. In other cases you might need to change locations. For example, if your child refuses to get along with another child at your house, and they do not get along at the other child's house either, try neutral ground, such as a park, a play center, etc.

If you get into a difficult situation where you and your stubborn child are butting heads, and no matter how much you ask, beg, plead, etc. they are not budging a bit, it is time to throw them a curve ball. Change locations, change tactics, change something. If you can change the dynamic of the situation you will often see far better results.

Third, appreciate the positives. The fact is that your child being stubborn and bold can be a positive. It can be a big advantage. This means that on the days when you are feeling overwhelmed by your child's stubbornness, think about when that is a good thing. For example, if your child is in a group playing, and someone is picking on kids, or stealing toys, your child will be less likely to be a victim because of their personality. This is a good thing. Another positive of stubbornness is that it often comes with a steadfast ability to focus, and that can boost learning. For example, if your child is determined to learn to do something, their stubbornness can keep them with it, even if they are struggling. Stubbornness can also be called determination. This means that the stubborn child can often become a faster learner and more focused on their objectives.

Who does not want a child who is going to be a better learner, stick with things more deliberately, and focus on whatever they set their mind to? Every parent wants that. So, when you are worried about your child being too stubborn, and you are having doubts about your ability to raise them, then remember the great things about being stubborn, and focus on that.

Fourth, listen as much as you can. There is a fine line between bossiness and leadership, so if you want to help your child be less stubborn, then listen to them. As funny as it sounds, when they start to feel powerless, and not as important, that is when their stubborn streak comes full force, and they become difficult to parent. So, instead, allow your child to voice their opinion, and respect it. For example, if your four year old does not particularly like a person that you have set a play date for them with, then give them the option not to go. The fact is, your child has an opinion, and giving them a chance to express it and be heard will help curb their stubbornness, and just have it be strong willed, which is generally considered a positive trait.

Give yourself and your child a chance to compromise and to come to agreements by listening to what they have to say. For example, if you tell your child it is bed time, and they do not want to go, and you force them, their stubbornness will lead to them staying up half the night. If you listen to what they have to say, and they say something along the lines of "If I stay up for a few more minutes I can finish coloring this page." A five minute compromise on your part will give you far less frustration later. Obviously there will be some cases where you can't compromise, but in many cases, learning to listen will give you some peace.

Fifth, teach your child to share, give, and take. Part of a stubborn child's persona is that they often will not share, and are always the one to do the taking. While you do not want your child to be a wimp who always gives up the swing when someone else asks, or the kid who is always being pushed around. Your child should be taught that while you do not want them to constantly put themselves second, or take a back seat all of the time, that they often have to give up something that they want in order to get something else they want, or something they want more. For example, if your child does not want to share their toys, the consequence is that someone else will not share theirs either. This could mean that instead of forcing your child to share, you can persuade them to share by presenting the options--share or do not get to play with any of their toys when you play at their house.

Teach your child that you can take turns, and give everyone a chance to play with everything. This means that your child learns that sometimes they get to be first, other times they don't, etc. In addition to this, you will want to give them a chance to decide if they do not want to share, and respect that if they don't. You can give them veto power over a few items that they do not have to share. You can give them the chance to decide what is good and what is not.

Sixth, when raising a stubborn child, lead by example. If your child is stubborn, there is a chance that they get it from you. So, if you want to raise a stubborn child, show your stubborn child when it is appropriate to be stubborn and when it is not, through example. You can show your children how you too can compromise, and how as an adult you make sacrifices even when you want things your way. For example, if your husband wants to go to a movie, but you want to stay home, you can rent a movie and watch it at home. Just make sure your child sees you making this compromise. If they see your compromise, they will know that you are not just being stubborn. It is a good way to teach, especially when you have a stubborn child.

Seventh, remember that your stubborn child is still just a child. In many cases, a stubborn kid is going to be like any other kid, but there are times when their stubbornness is going to drive you crazy. If you want to keep your self sane, then treat them like you would any other child during similar situations. For example, if your child is having a temper tantrum at the play ground, pick them up and take them home. If your child is refusing to brush their teeth at night, you can pull out the, "I am mom, and I said so," saying. There are times when you have to put the weight of being the parent behind your discipline.

If your child is going to be acting like a child, then treat them like a child. You have to be a parent, and you have to remember that your child is going be childish as a part of their stubborn side, and that is okay. You are the parent for a reason, so do not forget it. It does not require you to have endless amounts of patience to deal with a stubborn child, but it is going to require you to always play the role of parent, and not give in to their demands just because they have been particularly wearing on you that day.

Eighth, remember that your child is not perfect, and that being stubborn is not always bad. You have to love your child and accept them for who they are, stubbornness and all. If you want your child to grow out of the bad parts of being selfish, then do not harp on them all the time for it, rather remember that there are things that are good about them.

Ninth, give yourself a break on occasion. If you are raising a stubborn child, you may need to give yourself a rest once in a while. In many cases, a stubborn child is a joy as well as a pain. However, to be a good parent, and to enjoy parenting a stubborn child, you have to give yourself time without them on occasion. If your child is particularly difficult one day, you can give yourself a break by going out that night, getting a sitter for a couple of hours, or just relaxing in a tub behind a locked bathroom door.

Tenth, remember they usually grow out of it on their own. A stubborn child will often grow out of the frustrating parts of their stubbornness. After a while it will become qualities you admire such as leadership, confidence, etc. So, look at that silver lining, and look forward to it, and focus on it during the tough times of raising a stubborn child.