I am sure you Tier II Techies can blow holes in the theories and solutions listed here am sure you can secure a compter like Fort Knox. However this advice is for the regular internetaur using Windows computers. Whoever you are please feel free to add your comments and advice with your experiences so the community can benefit.

I used to work in tech support for a major Cable ISP until they moved the job overseas. Oh well.

The most common issue with customers calling for support went like this “my computer is so slow", Your internet sucks and I hate your company” I will help you with this m’am/sir, what operating system do you have? Do you have a router? And on it went……Most people are quite defensive really. Especially when they are still running Windows 2000.

Half an hour into the troubleshooting we learn Junior started to use the computer recently and it now has an infestation of Spyware and other stuff that is slowed down the old machine to a crawl. “It takes several minutes to open a page” You better give me my money back or I am going to write the BBB.

Some basics to consider:

If your ISP is a cable operator and if you were online at one time and was satisfied with the speed of your connection at that time that is how it should be at all time. There should be no fluctuation on speed levels. You could be completly out if the cable was cut or something but as far as speed goes it should be pretty consistant. If you have a DSL connection the same rules apply about 85% of the time. Your ISP can not slow down your connection speed to the internet even if they wanted to. The only time you may have speed issues are if you ask to be downgraded for an example from a 10 meg to 3meg. Or if your account not been paid. It costs too much per account for your ISP to fool around this. They are more interested in keeping your debit card on file and collecting something from you every month.

Another speed issue to the customer is to consider if your computer is running slow while browsing certain sites. This again is quite a rare thing these days. Sites you go to could be slow uploading data. But this depends again on your usage. And should be quite random.

The most common reasons your computer has become slow:

1. Your computer is old and now has memory issues. Especially if you hear a type of clicking, noise coming out of your pc. “Like a truck laboring up a steep hill hauling great big load” Your computer is starved for temporary memory and is now accessing your hard drive at every request for information, it has create temporary has to go to and fro processing the information. It now has now added a several more steps which it was not designed to do. And that is why it takes so long to load up a pages. Solution: Get a new computer or add more memory.
2. Your computer is old and does not have the processing power required for today’s internet applications. In the computer world a 4 year old computer is like a car built in the 1960’s. You can put jet fuel in it. But it just does not have what it takes to go faster. Solution: Its time to let her go and get a new computer. I know it’s hard to let go after all the good times you had together. Right?

3. Your computer is infested with a virus. Again quite rare especially if you have a decent anti virus program running on your computer. Just to let you know the anti virus software running on your system by itself slows it down maybe by about 5-10%. It depends; just in keep in mind the anti virus software operates much like anti-viral vaccinations in the real world. It runs through entire blood stream (software) of the computer constantly looking for the bad virus to knock out. Solution: Always avoid downloading and running executable files from sources that you are not sure of. Solution: if internet security is important to you and to avoid costs involved in your computer crashing and being disabled. Hint Most antivirus companies like to use scare tactics to keep you paying a bunch of money when most of their services are pretty redundant.

4. If you are sharing a connection with other computer with a wirleless router. You may be really sharing your connection with Mr. Leech down the street who is watching streaming video porn all day. You set a password so anyone could not use your network right. There is special software that could be bought to sniff your passwords out of thin air!.

Solution: Change your router wep key often. Put sign on your lawn informing neighbors that if you catch the guy who is leeching your internet connection and hogging your bandwith that intend to tar, feather and sacrifice his first born to the Internet Gods. Suddenly you may notice kids next door start being nice to you.

5. Now here is the most common reason for your Windows based computer to run slow. Spy ware.

Spy ware is the like the market research guy/gal at the Mall with the clipboard. You know him when you see him and give him the wide berth because he is going to slow you down if you make eye contact or stop.

There are so many types, shapes and forms of Spy ware out there. Remember the little card you fill up to win that brand new car displayed at the mall. That is one. By the way have you ever met anyone who won one of the cars. That is anothr topic for sure.

Spy ware comes disguised in many ways and these people are constantly evolving their strategies to get information about your browsing habits. Anti spy ware software is effective only for a short time. Again the Anti-Spy ware software running full strength on your computer slows it down a bit and more importantly restricts your browsing activities at the same time. By the way Goggle Tool Bar and Yahoo Tool Bar are types of Spyware! Go figure.

Solution: After some time you get a feel for when there is Spy ware slowing things down on your computer. Make sure the System Restore feature on you computer is set to On. You can do a system restore which brings your computer to a previous time. Like when it was working fast. Some Anti-Virus, Anti Spy ware software companies, disable this Windows feature when you install their software. Then you got to call them to do a system restore which is going to cost you.

Please remember to back up your personal files including picture files regularly. 85% of the time you are able to bring your computer back to the time when things were good. If this does not help you can ditch your browser and download another copy or try a totally new browser like Fire Fox. Be prepared to learn new tricks and also you will have to import your Favorites.

If this does not work it maybe time to take it to the shop or run the factory system disk. You may have to reinstall Windows completely. This takes several hours. Doing this will wipe hard drive clean. So your computer is restored to factory settings. If you had installed new hard ware devices like a printer and scanner you will have to reinstall them again.

What I have learned. Just like when we are out there in the real world, our behaviors are being monitored and analyzed by a myriad of sources. If you totally wanted to be free of it. You would have to build that log cabin in the mountains of Idaho somewhere, grow your own food and maybe ride into town every month and pay cash at the general store. Spy ware is fact of life when browsing the internet. Just be aware of it. I personally do not have any anti virus or anti spy ware software running on any of my computers at home. I go to any web page I want to. I Do not fill up forms and click on special offers. Stay away from clicking on spam. We know there is no free lunch. Treat spam just like you treat all the direct mail that accumulates in your mailbox. Toss it. And just in case my systems get hit. I do not keep any information on my computer which I can not afford to lose. I have a standby hard drive already loaded with Windows and the software I would need to in an emergency. An used hard drive like this will cost you less than $20. All I would need to do is open the computer up pull out the the old hard drive and put the replacement in, close it up and then power it up a. I can be back online in 15 minutes. Changing a spark plug in your car would probably take longer.

If you have more first hand info on this subject join in the discussion and help out.