How many times have you witnessed one of your close friends end up with someone who is all wrong for them shortly after breaking up from a long term relationship? It’s one of the most common things to happen after a lengthy relationship has ended and its called rebound dating. We have all heard of it and we have all done it. Its instinct and it’s natural.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it is almost like second nature and we do it without even thinking about it. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” and so we rush into it with using our better judgment. Choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually ends badly and can lead to more heartbreak; it can actually be a vicious cycle for some. If you want to get over your ex fast there are ways to do it without jumping in to a new relationship.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first thing you should do so that you don’t something you’ll regret later on is to take a good honest look at what you’re feeling after your breakup and learn to understand how those feelings can lead to more bad relationships and more heartbreak. Many times we simply miss the companionship we previously had and we look for someone to fill the gap. You need to come to terms with your feelings and understand how they affect your actions. Take time for yourself and deal with your feeling by finding not romantic social things that you can do. Keep yourself busy to avoid looking for a replacement

Maintain your standards

To avoid ending up with someone completely wrong for you need to stick to your standards and in fact you should go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. Do not turn to someone just because you are feeling “lonely”; again look to non-romantic social events to keep you occupied. And remember, if the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d the type of person you would normally date then you should stay far away. These types of people do not make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person syndrome

After a breakup in which we are hurt we tend to look for someone to rebound with to help us get over our previous relationship. When in this situation we feel like we need someone fast and we don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with. Because of this, we tend to latch on to someone we already know, are comfortable with and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone your friends have previously dated. If you that your falling for someone that you have never been attracted to before your breakup then you need to stop and think about the reasons are behind this new found attraction.

Take time to enjoy yourself

Instead of wasting your time going on dates that are bound to go nowhere you should get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There is a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books. This is a waste of your time and just prolongs the ache that you are experiencing.

Don’t be hard on yourself

Even when a breakup doesn’t send you in to a sobbing fit followed by massive amounts of chocolate it can still be hard to deal with and affect your emotions. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks after a break up so as to give yourself time to organize your thoughts and feelings.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster but the odds are stacked against you. If you’re one of the lucky ones then you’ll have a fun fling and maybe make a new friend. However if you do decide to get involved with someone right after a breakup then make sure you have taken a little off to yourself and you’re not lowering your standards in desperation. While we can’t prevent broken relationships we can avoid rebound dating.