Reconnecting regularly with your spouse

The longer a marriage continues, the more stresses and pressures are placed on the couple. The introduction of children into the marriage can cause additional strain on the marriage, in addition to the wonderful blessing they bring to the marriage. A couple beings to grow and develop the longer their marriage continues and conflicts arise in the marriage. Even the best marriages will encounter some type of conflict. Healthy marriages are able to withstand the test of the conflicts and the couple is able to reconnect with one another.

Set aside some time to spend with your spouse and focus on your relationship. Make sure the time you spend together is just for the two of you. If you cannot set aside time weekly, try to set aside some time at least once or twice a month. Attend a sporting event, concert, movie, or dinner. Whatever it is the two of you enjoy doing together, now is the time to go out and do it. Plan to have a romantic date at least once a month. Take your spouse to a romantic dinner or dancing. Spend time talking to one another without the distractions you normally encounter.

A date night alone will not save the marriage, but it will allow you to reconnect with your spouse. Another thing you can do to reconnect with your spouse is turn off the television. Far too often in marriages the television becomes the third person in the room and communication ceases to exist in the marriage. Instead of watching television, play games with your spouse. Both of you should select a board game and have fun together. Learn about your spouse again, find out what their hobbies and interests are and talk to one another.

Intimacy in marriage is one of the best ways to reconnect with your spouse. It draws couples closer together and keeps the marriage healthy. If you are always busy and on the move, make some time to spend with your spouse. You can hold hands during a movie, while driving in the car, and practically anywhere. Touching your spouse doesn't always mean it will lead to intimacy, it is simply a small way to remind your spouse you are attracted to them and are comforted by their presence.

Sit down and work on projects or hobbies together. Couples that share similar interests often have an easier time reconnecting with one another because they both like the same hobbies. If you and your spouse are opposites, look for the common ground in your marriage and ask your spouse to participate in something you both enjoy. Share in your spouse's hobbies and interests. If you do not like sports, compromise and ask you spouse to teach you about their favorite team. Once you start spending time with them while they are involved in their hobby, you will have a deeper connection and it may turn into one of your hobbies as well. Ask your spouse to learn a new hobby that is important to you. Perhaps you like to water-ski or snow-ski, bring your spouse with you and teach them how to ski. Even if they just sit in the boat or stay in the lodge, at least they will be participating with you while you practice your hobby. A couple that plays together will give energy to the marriage. The couple will relax and make room to laugh and breathe again.

Do something sporadic in your marriage. Surprise your spouse with a weekend getaway or even something as simple as lunch during a work week. Making time for one another in the middle of the day will bring freshness to your dating cycle. Being outside in the sun for a few hours will also give your body some much-needed energy. Exercise is another great way to spend time together. Keeping your physical body in shape will give you more energy and self-esteem. Couples that are able to work out together can challenge one another to do better and they are a good support group. Even walking for an hour a day can help your metabolism and can give you and your spouse some time to talk.

You need to make time for your spouse. Everyone has priorities in life, but it is up to you to decide where you want your spouse to fit into them. Do you put your job before your spouse? Are you involved with your other projects and hobbies before your spouse? Do you enjoy being with your friends more than your spouse? Marriage is about compromising and sacrificing. Perhaps your weekly poker nights can be switched to twice a month or even once a month. It is important to spend time with your spouse and let them know you love them and enjoy being with them.

If you are a religious couple, you can reconnect with your spouse by practicing your religion together. Simple things like praying together can help to draw a couple closer together. Attending church can also strengthen a marriage and reminds the couple why they got married in the first place.

One of the best ways to reconnect with your spouse is to show them respect. Write down all the qualities you admire in your spouse and let them know why you respect them for these qualities. When you are talking with one another, give your spouse some time to talk and avoid cutting them off. It is easy to take your spouse for granted so you need to recognize the little things they do to make your life easier. Thank them for doing the laundry, taking out the garbage, washing the car, mowing the lawn, cooking dinner, doing the dishes, or anything that you notice your spouse doing. If you never express your respect to your spouse, they may feel like they are being taken advantage of and they are your slave. Marriage is a compromise and a sacrifice, but no one should be treated as a slave and no one should expect their spouse to serve them.

A simple way to reconnect with your spouse is to help out around the house. When both partners work together to keep the home clean and organized, the marriage is happier and the couple appreciates one another. A clean home also creates space for the couple and enables people to feel calm and relaxed. Spending time in a clean home will allow the couple to feel good about themselves and their marriage. If your home is filled with clutter, spend 15 minutes each day with your spouse going through the clutter and tossing things that you do not need. A good rule of thumb is that if you haven't used the items in one year, you probably will never use them again.

It is hard to express love and emotion for some people. Instead of verbally expressing all your feelings, write them down in a letter. You can address sensitive issues in your marriage by writing down your thoughts. It is important to tell your spouse how much you love them and appreciate them in your life. Simple love notes left around the house will also break down any walls that your spouse has built up from a recent argument. Leave a love note on their cell phone or in their Palm Pilot. The next time they use their planner, they will have a simple reminder of your love for them.

A good marriage has goals and plans for the future. Sit down with your spouse and create some plans for your future. Ask yourselves if you are comfortable living the life you are in or if you would like to see some changes. Brainstorm some future plans for vacations and even retirement. Make specific goals for your marriage and for each of you individually. If you sit down and create a list of your emotional, physical, and financial goals, it will be must easier to achieve them.

Married couples should take a walk down memory lane. Pull out the old scrapbooks and start looking back over your marriage. Reminisce about the good times you have had together and remind yourself of the feelings you had at that time. One big fight can easily wash away hundreds of good memories so it is important to let go and move forward once the fight has been resolved.

A simple way to reconnect with your spouse is to sit down and eat dinner together. Just spending 10 minutes together will allow you to talk to one another and discuss your daily activities and your marriage. Do not just sit there silently, ask your spouse about their hobbies and plans. Create a plan for the weekend while you are eating together. Even sitting next to each other will help to close the gap that you may have been having in your relationship. You married this person because you love them. Even though people change, it is important to remind yourself why you got married in the first place. A happy marriage will allow the couple to grow and change together and remain close for the rest of their lives.