I was born in the southeastern USA. Does that make me automatically "redneck"? Not necessarily. Well...maybe it's best to start with the question "Who is a redneck"? Or maybe "What does redneck mean"? I am no language expert ,so I could not explain the technical aspects of that title. But I guess I could tell you what I understand a real "redneck" to actually be...and why he and she are the way they are. That comedian Jeff Foxworthy got his start by telling us that we "might be a redneck if"...and followed it with things like "you mow the yard and find a car"....etc...etc. But what are some real signs that....yes...it could be....you might be a REDNECK!!!

1. Do you live in the Southern USA?

While this is not always a primary factor in redneckedness...it can significantly increase the chances of you actually being a member of "Redneck Nation"!

2. Do you live in a manufactured home?

Many refer to rednecks as "trailerpark trash" or some other epithet. While all redneck peoples do not live in what is correctly called a "mobile home"....a vast majority do seem to prefer manufactured homes to call their abode.

3. Do you watch CMT or GAC or similar networks on TV often daily?

These cable networks seem to appeal to most redneck men and women. They feature Country music videos (a redneck favorite) and various shows aimed at the Hillbilly set!

4. Men : Do you sport stylish facial hair and affect a longer hairstyle? Ladies : Do you have an affinty for tube tops and "Daisy Duke" shorts? Do you have tattoos? Are you fond of camoflage clothing? What about logo t-shirts?

5. Do you find yourself shopping most often at Wal-Mart? Sam Walton's superstores are a virtual "redneck" haven....drawing the members of "redneck nation" in droves on Friday and Saturday nights! Is your wardrobe labelled "Puritan" or "Faded Glory" or "Basic Edition" any of the other Wal-Mart labels?

6. Are you a NASCAR fan? Further...are you obsessed with the Earnhardts?

7. Are you a fan of the following TV programs:

The Dukes of Hazzard?

Little House on The Prairie?

The Andy Griffith Show?

Hee Haw?

The Beverly Hillbillies?

Just actually "knowing" what these shows were about increases your redneck quotient!!

What do most redneck people listen to? What kinds of audio entertainments delight them after a hard days work? After a easy day's layin' around? While workin'? While bein' no account? Well...let us see...shall we?

1. Rednecks like funny songs

Anything (well almost) by the great Ray Stevens.

Anything by Rodney Carington ( he appeals to men mostly).

Anything that makes fun of rednecks in a warm manner.

2. Rednecks like extremely patriotic songs

"God Bless The USA" by Lee Greenwood

"America" by The Charlie Daniels Band

"A Country Boy Can Survive" by Hank Williams Jr.

3. Rednecks adore Southern Rock!

Lynyrd Skynyrd

The Allman Brothers

4. Rednecks like Classic Rock!

Led Zeppelin

Eagles

Anything by Ted Nugent

Anything by ZZ Top

Foghat....especially their hit from the 70's "Slow Ride"!

5. Rednecks like their Country Music!

Classic Country from artists like Waylon, Conway Twitty, Willie...and Hank Sr and Jr!

Hot new country from artists like Brooks and Dunn, Gretchen Wilson, Jake Owen, Trace Adkins, Carrie Underwood...and the like!

Come across a gathering of local redneck peoples and you are liable to find any numbers of foods ...both home cooked and store bought...and then there is "eatin' out"!

1. Redneck "Home Cookin'":

Most of the cooking done in typical redneck families is done by the woman of the house.....some redneck men cook...but very few would brag about it! Some of the favorite redneck home cooked foods would include things like fried okra, fried squash,fried green tomaters, fried potaters....almost anything fried!! Redneck peoples are big on what is called by those well versed in redneck lore as "Beans and Cornbread"! That would be a dish consisting of a heaping helping of beans...usually slow cooked pinto beans....accompanied by a serving of bread made from corn meal that has been baked in the home's oven! It is a delight to the tastebuds of any redneck man who has "werked hard all day and is tarred"!

2. "Store Bought" redneck food favorites :

Redneck peoples also enjoy a number of food items that are bought in the store and require little or no cooking. Some of these things would include ice cream sandwiches ....pork rinds....corn nuts....microwaveable sausage and biscuits...microwaveable bacon....Campbell's Soup (usually Chicken Noodle)..etc.

3. "Eatin' Out" with the rednecks!

Usually, once a week, following "payday"....the redneck family will pile into the truck and head over to "eat out"!! Where do they go? What do they like? Well...they like a number of food types and popular restaraunts.

* Redneck Restaraunts :

Have you been to any of these?

Cracker Barrel?

Po' Folks? (This is now defunct...was once popular in the southeastern USA)

Waffle House? (This is a genuine redneck hangout....you WILL find rednecks here)

Huddle House? (This is another,inferior,version of Waffle House)

Stuckey's?

Logan's Roadhouse?

Western Sizzlin? (This is a prime example of a major redneck food place...the "all you can eat" buffet!)

Shoney's? (another "all you can eat")

Ci-Ci's Pizza Buffet?

Chuck E. Cheese? ( a popular children and parents pizza place...this is the subject of a hilarious song by the performer Tim Wilson!)

Okay.....Lets consider what we have larned bout' us rednecks!

1. What this world needs....according to Mr. Charlie Daniels....is a few more rednecks! (Charlie is another Redneck favorite) Yew might wanna think bout' that come November...when y'all go out thar and vote!

2. Get the curtainclimbers and the porchmonkeys and the rugrats and git in that thar vehicle and take a trip over to the local Wal-Mart....after your meal at Waffle House!

3.Crank up some Hank.....or Charlie....or Gretchen....and play that thar music LOUD and PROUD!!

4. Men! - Git started on that Ballcap collection! Beer logos and confederate flags and dumb sayings work jus' fine!

5. Women! - Head over to the tanning bed and burn yourself into a crisp!

Keep all these things in mind and remember to watch CMT religiously and yew might make a good redneck someday Grasshopper!