From Gus's Redneck’s Kitchen (Specializing in Bait, Tackle and Haute Cuisine)

A Hubpages Hub for folks who like funny country stories and great country food all on the same plate

War Dog versus Pit Bull

I need to introduce you to Esther.Esther is Gus’s wife. She has three pets – one of them is Gus. Tiff is her pet cat, a really old cat, that one. War Dog is her friend and protector. He is a little rat terrier kind of critter.

War Dog may be the only dog who, when he jumps, he jumps all of his legs off the ground at one time. He possibly weighs a full 6 pounds. One of his ears goes straight up all the time and the other ear flops down mostly, except when he gets riled up some.

War Dog is scared only of thunder and lightning. Yes, those two things are probably the only two things for which he has any fear - not mailmen, strange cats, bugs, and other critters. But thunder and lightning get him to back-peddling in a hurry.

War Dog loves kids, loves to play with squeak toys, loves to chase squirrels and birds, loves to steal Tiff’s cat food right out of her feeding dish, and he absolutely loves knowing that he is the roughest, toughest hound on the planet.

On the other side of the fence there once lived a real bruiser of a dog. We called him Pit Bull. Pit Bull was not a bad sort, but he was big and kinda’ rough and tough. You might even say that Pit Bull was mean looking. They had to keep him chained out of fear that he might get out and massacre the mail carrier or someone else passing by.

War Dog used to take Pit Bull on (as long as that fence was between them). That little guy would yip and yap at Pit Bull. War Dog, both ears straight up, would jump up and down and paw the ground, too.

Pit Bull became very nervous, probably out of fear that War Dog could make it through a crack in the fence and get to him.

The neighbor folks had Pit Bull analyzed at the dog psycho hospital, but he never fully recovered. He’s no longer on the other side of the fence.

War Dog misses Pit Bull, but the neighbors are not known to be dogless for very long. War Dog is waiting.　

Here is a real favorite – Has Beans. Here is how to make ‘em. Understand that you can use dry beans if you want to, but we like the easy way - canned beans already cooked.

In an 8 to 12 quart stock pot pour in 5 (15-ounce) cans of pinto beans, 2 cans of black beans, and 1 can of red (kidney) beans. Toss in a couple of cans of chopped tomatoes with green chilies. You will need to chop 1 large onion and 2 big green peppers. Put in about 2 tablespoons of chopped garlic (powdered is OK, too), about a half cup of prepared mustard, 1 cup of good BBQ sauce, ½ cup of brown sugar, and about 2 to 3 pounds of chopped BBQd brisket (or cooked coarse-chopped beef or whatever kind of cut up meat you favor).

If you like your beans really hot chop up a medium size jalapeno pepper and toss that in, too.

Stick the pot over medium heat on the stove and get it all nice and cooked up. You can tell that all is ready when the onions and green peppers are done.

We also like to cook Has Beans in the smoker. It takes a little longer to cook them in the smoker so that the raw vegetables become softened, but the wait may well be worth it.

Use a temperature of around 250 degrees in the smoker.

Place the Has Beans in a large disposable aluminum pan (or line a non-disposable pan, inside and outside, with aluminum foil) and let them smoke away until the onions and peppers are cooked. The smoke flavor makes an interesting difference.

You will wonder why everyone does not cook beans this way.

Has Beans – the name comes from the fact that there is everything else in there, and the pot also has beans.　

More of Gus’s Redneck Recipes are here on Hubpages and you can get a free download of one version of his "Redneck Rub(R) Cookbook" at http://www.sampsonafb.com.