Why do Men cheat in Relationships
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Relationships - Cheating Men
Like it or not men cheat. The percentage of men unfaithful to their wives is many folds than wives cheating on husbands. Whatever the case is men are less forgiving of their wife cheating than wives are about their cheating husbands. Overall, only about a third of marriages survive affairs as it is hard to forgive, redevelop trust and make the marriage more intimate and satisfying. Reasons for cheating in Men are more physical whereas for woman it is more on the emotional side. Many women mistakenly believe the mistress must be more attractive than she which is not true in majority of cases. Men may cheat because of the following reasons:-
Sex: Sex is the most important reason to why men cheat on their spouses. It is possible for a man to have sex with a woman without having any emotional attachment to her whereas it is not very easy for a woman to do so. It is also said that men only need a place to have an affair whereas a woman needs a reason. Even if the man have a loving spouse who takes take of his every need physically a man may cheat on his wife if he gets an opportunity to do so. Moreover, the thought of sex can get majority of men excited so they may not leave the chance of getting another women to bed.
Unhappy Marriage : An unhappy marriage may prompt many men to go for an affair.Many times men go behind other woman when they do not get all what they expect from their wives than putting on any effort to salvage the marriage. Rather than analyzing what went wrong in the relationship and making a commitment to work on it majority of men prefer to go for temporary quick fixes. Many times lack of communication in marriage leads a man to run into the arms of another woman than try solving the problem.
Fragile Ego : Men have very fragile egos. When men are complimented by women other than their wives it is only natural for men to expect having a fling with the lady. Many Men cheat on their spouses to prove to themselves that they are still attractive to the opposite sex.
Seeking Variety with No Commitment : Majority of men like variety when it comes to woman. The more the merrier is the outlook of majority of men who cheat on their spouses. If they find woman with whom they need not commit they jump into such relationships looking for some ‘fun’. No matter how good or faithful the spouse is many men tend to think that having one woman is not enough.
To Fill the Void : Sometimes men may want more than what his spouse offers him on bed like kinkier sex, group sex, talking dirty or submissive sex for which he seeks another partner or partners to fulfill his needs more willingly than communicating to his wife. Men tend to be motivated by sex including new sex, forbidden sex, more sex and different sex.
Family Background: The child of an adulterer is most likely to follow the footstep of his parent.
Men are Men: Many men think they are superior to Woman and get away by doing anything they please including breaking the sacred marriage vows he took at the time of marriage and not caring about the feelings of his spouse. Majority of men are selfish and they try to get what they want and it does not matter who they hurt while doing so.
One thing Men must understand is that they are going to get caught at one point or the other. May be it may be the scent of another perfume, some fallen hairs, lipstick marks or different behavior than normal because women are smart, no offence meant. Many men have lost their money, property, health and wealth by opting for relationships outside marriage. But that still does not prevent them from doing it again. After all, Men are men!
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Comments
I think it stereotypes men though reflects the popular view held by women
Well, I have written my Opinion. If you feel something is missing please feel free to add it up. Thanks for your comments.
Now i better go pamper my husband, lest he strays...;)
lol, Thanks for the Comment cashmere.
very true..
Yes. Thanks for the visit Charia Samher
I think the main reason men cheat is not because of sex, but communication. Their mistress listens to them and listens to them share their dreams. Often, the wife can't be bothered or has other things on her mind.
I totally agree, I found out my husband cheated on me by way of text from her, he said was sex, but I found out then I was already a mth pregnant, we are in counselling now, I have a beautiful baby boy, but the hurt and pain is enormous, I don't think I'll ever get over his total lack of respect and complete selfishness.
Thanks cindyvine and Bunny Boo for your comments. Some how I do not agree with you completely on your point cindyvine. Bunny Boo, I am really pained by your experience with your husband. I hope you would recover from it soon.
Great article. My ex husband cheated on me 15 yrs ago. I tried to get over it but it damage the marriage as the trust was never the same. We did last 10 yrs before finally divorcing, I believe if is had not been for the kids it would of happened sooner. Its hard to lay in bed at night when he has cheated and is telling you he is at work and to actually believe it. It takes a very strong and special woman to NOT allow it to effect the marriage when they are caught. Hats off to those woman that can put it aside.
Anamika, I agree with what you have to say. It would also be interesting to explore two other related issues: why do some women date or have sex with men that they know are married? And what does infidelity say about the institution of marriage? I'm not sure if true monogamy is even naturally possible. It seems in cultures that don't have high rates of infidelity that married women typically are in very submissive roles.
h ianamika .. hum toh tumrae liye yaha aaye yaha.... tu jaha -jaha chalegaaaaaaa ...mera saaaya saath hogaaaaa
Stephanie : I am sorry to hear about you. I hope time will heal your wounds. All the best for a happy future.
Bakari Chavanu : I would defenitely write on at least one of those subjects. Thanks for the visit.
Hardik : You can follow me all you can but you will never be able to catch up with me.Thanks for the visit.
Women are offered sex on a daily basis. A moderately attractive girl only has to stand in a bar or walk down the street to be whistled at, approached, or offered a drink. The result - CHOICE. Women are the sexual selectors and vet men left right and center. Want some sex? Then just say yes to one of the men who comes looking. (Not I'm not talking about a long term relationship here. The man will most likely be entirely unsuitable. I'm purely talking about a short fling.)
Men on the other hand, who crave that sexual variety and so love multiple partners due to basic biological programming (read 'The Red Queen - Sex And The Evolution of Human Sexuality' or 'Sperm Wars' for more information) have FAR FEWER opportunities to have sex. Therefore, we is more likely to take every chance he gets, even if he's in a relationship. It doesn't mean he loves the girl, he just wants the physical side.
Women also cheat but for different reasons. Usually their partner is not making them feel special, sexy or feminine, or loved and cherished.
The moral of the story: Women are emotional cheaters, men are physical cheaters.
Note: Generalisations have of course been made. Not every man or women acts in the same way. But in general, the above is true.
You have got a point there. Thanks for the visit.
Great article...its a good thing!
Trust once damaged is very, very difficult to be rebuilt. If your hb has had an affair, and lied abt it with a very straight face (read...no change in emotion on the face!), whilst u already hv tons of evidence and is still refusing to admit it...how on earth are u ever going to believe what he says ever again??? Even if he is no longer cheating or lying...how cld u know for sure?? There's always this image, of him not betraying a single emotion when caught lying, in ur mind! how can u trust him again???
Forever you will be wondering....the paranoia will eat u up inside...how to go through marriage with the same man??
...Simple - it is in
The Laws of Nature...
I am writing a hub on it.
Melanie
First off, i think that man hating is so apparent in this hub that it made me a little bit unsettled reading it. I know that women tend to build up these deep emotions for men and think that they can really pin down what makes men work. But the truth is, most women don't even know how THEY THEMSELVES work, much less a man. So let me break it down just a little bit for women who are uninformed and still blame men for their personal unresolved issues.
First, let me start off by pointing out things that I do agree with. Men are a lot more physical when it comes to sex than women are, who are more emotional.
Now, moving along with what is in this hub, it is a very dangerous and poisonous attitude to reflect on all of the external things that make a man cheat, rather than focus on the real internal issues. All of the things you listed, sex, marriage, fragile ego...all of these things add to the situation of course, but woman very conveniently like to forget that relationships are a two way street and when someone cheats on you, it is not only their fault that brings them to cheat, but it is an inadequacy being experienced in the relationship. So let me take all of these external things and apply them to the other side of the street and relate them to the internal problems that are experienced by both parties.
SEX: Sex is an important thing to men, but not THE MOST IMPORTANT thing. This is a mistake that many women make and leads them to believe that any man they talk to is generally going to cheat on them, that this event is inevitable and it is built in the genetics of a man to cheat on his spouse. First, let me point out the total BS behind this argument. Women in 2009 are just as capable of having sex without emotion as men are. Sex without emotion is a social circumstance, not a genetic or natural circumstance. Women standing behind his argument are defeatists, cowards and deserve every cheat that has happened to them. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy we are dealing with here. Expect your man to cheat, and he will cheat.
UNHAPPY MARRIAGE: An unhappy marriage is a two sided thing. Women like to believe that it is some kind of story that men weave up to find a quick reason to run off to the next women we can find and try to molest them. A lot of times, this lack of communication is in fact, promoted by the women who would rather emote than communicate. (Anyone with a vagine should reread the last sentence). Telling a man how you FEEL is useful, but it is not communicative in the sense of fixing the problem or analyzing the situation. Instead of pinning men down as unfeeling and devoid of thought, maybe trying to communicate with him on his level rather than expecting him to jump up (or step down) to yours would prove helpful and lead to a happier marriage. Blinding us with a smoke screen of your emotions is also not the way to get through to us.
FRAGILE EGOS: The only ego that is fragile is the one that is incomplete. Men are not like women and don't generally seek or expect compliments. We certainly don't respond to them in the same way. A real woman is able to communicate with her man in such a way as to make him feel like he is the only man that matters, and SHE is the only woman that matters. This fear of cheating and this air of mistrust is what keeps women from achieving this kind of communication. Men do not rely on women for their egos, generally. Men do not operate like women, generally.
SEEKING VARIETY WITH NO COMMITMENT: This is true of all people, not just men. There are women are like variety as well and there are men who like commitment. One woman IS enough, when she is making the effort to communicate with the man. All women, just like all men, are virtually the same. Special is something perceived, not something inherent.
FILLING THE VOID: Women are just as empty as men. The fact that men don't just feel, but also DO is not a man problem, it is a woman problem. Everyone has a void, ESPECIALLY women who've experienced relationship pains.
FAMILY BACKGROUND: Well this was just a low blow. All people, man and woman, are subject to family issues.
MEN ARE MEN: This is a cop out and a weak conclusion to this hub. Not all men are prone to cheat. Not all men are unfeeling assholes. Not all men are out to get you. Women who are so involved in themselves that outward hatred toward "the player" and not "the game" is inevitable. What really needs to happen here, is to find out what it is about YOU that makes a man want to cheat on you. This introspection and self-observation is something that someone who is really looking for answers will engage in. Man bashing is a sad alternative.
Women are dominating the media, empowering themselves in a variety of ways and making it more and more erroneous to be born as a man.
there are alot of spelling mistakes because i posted before i meant to.
I meant to say at the end, that what is missing from the title of this hub is the word SOME. Why do SOME men cheat in relationships.
Women - especially "hurt" women - need to stop blaming ALL men and start holding themselves accountable for their share of the inadequacies in the relationship. Women are not perfect beings without faults at the mercy of man's banal inconsiderations. Be considerate yourself. Understand how and why a man feels the way he does. Then maybe, you will be ready to engage in a trusting relationship.
I think it is somehow genetically driven behavior. Where does individual responsibility begin? It is a deep question. Nice hub.
I totally agree with Philip - this is no man-hating hub.
It's called in science "race-memory".
I didn't mention it in this hub, but you all might like this hub as well. Let me know your thoughts.
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-do-you-forgive-a-spous
OH - and PS to WES...I guess your concepts make me a man! LOL
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the new pen says:
6 months ago
yeah...thats right