This is my first hub. Be gentle with me.

  I’ve just finished reading David Ebershoff’s ‘The 19th Wife’. It is set in Utah and combines a modern detective novel with an historical account of the formation of the Mormon religion. The two story lines are cleverly interwoven throughout the novel and are linked by a complex web of relationships that span several generations.

 The first story is about Jordan Scott who is expelled from a polygamous sect six years previously, and returns to it to investigate his father’s murder. The second one tells the story of Eliza Ann Young, the 19th wife of Brigham Young. Young, one of the most influential American’s of his day, succeeded to the leadership of the Mormon Church on the death of its founder, Joseph Smith in 1837.

While it was Joseph Smith who introduced the idea of polygamy to the early Mormon community, it would seem the Brigham Young was its most enthusiastic practitioner! Although the book is called The 19th Wife, and Eliza Young was known as the 19th wife, the author records the fact that she was actually his fifty second!

The book describes relationships within an early Mormon household and throws light on their faith in an all powerful male hierarchy. It lays bare the misery and humiliation suffered by plural wives in the name if religious conviction and looks at how society in general was prepared not only to tolerate, but to actively promote, the subjugation of women.

 Although the focus of the novel is firmly on matters peculiar to the family dynamics within a Mormon household, it also raises questions about the relevance of traditional Christian values on 21st century marriage.

I found the 19th Wife both challenging and engaging. Eliza Ann’s history is utterly absorbing, and the book challenged this reader to re-examine what belief system underpins and informs her own marriage.

 As a practicing Catholic I would have seen myself as attempting, however imperfectly, to live out a lifelong relationship with my spouse according to the ordinance of the Church. But now, having rediscovered Saint Paul’s teachings on the separation of roles within marriage, I’m not so sure.

”Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is ahead of the wife, even as Christ is ahead of the church and is Himself its Savior.

As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives be subject in everything to their husbands”. (Ephesians ; 5.22)

Saint Paul goes on to explain the marriage relationship using the metaphor of the body. The man is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the Church. And as Christ nourishes and cherishes the Church so should a man nourish and cherish his wife. In return, she gives him her obedience

. A man ought to love his wife as he loves his own body. “ for no one hates his own flesh…” and, extending the metaphor, he  describes both as indivisible members of the body of Christ. A common interpretation of Paul’s teachings on marriage, and one accepted by Pope Pius XI in 1930, is that women represents the heart of the relationship while man represents the head.

She has the primacy of love while her husband holds the primacy of authority. He is the provider and protector, she is the nurturer. And there’s the rub ; the primacy of authority resides with the man.

No matter how hard I try to come to terms with Saint Paul in this passage, I simply cannot. Nor can I see its relevance for my own marriage.

My husband and I both work so therefore we both provide for our family both financially and otherwise. When my daughter was both fifteen years ago we both took on the nurturing role. He fed, watered, bathed and changed her. He got up in the middle of the night as I did, to see to her physical and emotional needs.

There is simply no separation of roles within our marriage and I believe this is a true reflection of most 21st century marriages in this part of the world. I ask myself, in which spheres or in what circumstances must I submit to my husband’s 'authority'?  I have no answer.