By David Mandich

Guadalajara is full of museums of the revolution, incredible cathedrals, and priceless murals by Orozco. It's also the home of the notorious Tequila Train. Here you can experience Mexican heaven and hell in one short day. The train leaves Guadalajara on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays during high season. It chugs along some of the most exquisite countryside imaginable while you chug away at unlimited Tequila drinks proffered onboard. The drinks enhance the vistas of rolling hills covered with thousands of blue aguave plants used to create the finest Tequila.

The plush coaches each have a different musical theme on the one and three-quarter hour ride out to Tequila country. Some feature live mariachis, another a D.J., another a salsa band etc. All cars have a bartender and pretty señoritas who keep your cups full. Your destination is the Herradura Tequila distillery town of Amititan. The hostesses pour Tequila shots, Tequila sodas, margaritas and just about anything you could possibly imagine or enjoy that comes with Tequila in it. And it all comes with the $65usd price for the tour. I had a feeling that someone in the family needed to be cautious so I had just one drink. My Mexican wife could handle many times that and did.

In the village of Amititan, the train stopped in a grove of trees where we boarded a fleet of motor coaches for the Herradura distillery tour and a fiesta. The Herradura grounds are immense with acres of green grass, shade trees and red brick colonial buildings scattered about. We viewed the ancient brick ovens where the aguave root balls are cooked. The cooked aguave tasted sweet - oh so sweet. The original distillery has been preserved and is reminiscent of wine cellars full of dark shadows, alcoves, copper tubing running here and there, and old human powered walk-forever-in-a-circle aguave presses.

The blue Aguave takes ten years to grow before its root ball is harvested, cooked, pressed and distilled. Blue aguave produces the clearest, finest Tequila extant and only grows in this regional micro-climate.

An incredible non-stop food and Tequila orgy followed the tour. A grande buffet was spread out under shade trees, a Mexican folklorico show performed while we continued to drink and indulge in every kind of Mexican food imaginable! When I die, this place is going to be one of my stops along the way to eternity. It is hard to pinpoint the highlight of the trip because the whole trip has a highlight - everyone was lit up like a Mexican skyrocket from the time we left Guadalajara!

Back on the train, the fiesta continued and increased in intensity. The Tequila flowed, and people salsa'd, and conga'd in the aisles. My wife had been having the time of her life dancing with every man in the train car while I attempted to sleep off the buffet and my 2nd margarita (ok - maybe it was 7^th or 9^th...) of the day. I have to say Mexican men can be gentlemen, as they usually asked my permiso to dance with my wife. The last time I saw her she was dancing through the doors and into the next car with the Mariachi band. 20th drink in hand. I didn't give all nine of them permission to dance with her!

About twenty minutes shy of Guadalajara things began to get ugly... In the seat across the aisle from me, a four year old girl was tugging on her mommies skirt crying "Mommy, mommy?" Mommy had passed out. Several people were losing their lunches in paper bags thoughtfully provided by the train, while others were falling down drunk. The train rolled to a stop, the doors opening to waiting uniformed Red Cross nurses, Police and Fire Department ambulance attendants. They thought of everything. Hey, anyone seen my wife?

The Tequila Train: Avenida Washington esq. Calzada Independencia Guadalajara 44100 Mexico About $65usd pp all inclusive.

Telephone: +52 33 3880 9099

David Mandich, has been living, surfing, writing and selling real estate in Cabo for 10 years.  A Century 21 Paradise Propeties Agent and expert on Condos, Villas and Gated Communities, he can be contacted at: yachtdorado@yahoo.com  (From the USA) 866 722-1785, Cabo Local: 624-143-1101, Cel. 044 624 132