A rock or pop star should retire if and when:

• The number of wrinkles on their face exceeds the number of their hit titles
• Botox has made them look like a zombie maniken
• Any part of their body is sagging lower than their place on the charts
• Twenty-five-year-olds never heard of them
• Their CD release party is at Walmart
• All their sales occur from the 'bargain bin'
• Most of the members of their fan club are in assisted living
• They cannot remember the lyrics
• They cannot remember what song they are singing
• They cannot remember who they are
• Their great-grandchildren are their only fans
• Their grandchildren are ashamed to admit they're related
• The cover version of their greatest hit becomes more famous than the original
• Most of the people attending their concerts are using some type of mobility device
• They can only book a concert in a senior center
• They have to take oxygen between the verse and the bridge
• Every time they shake their booty, something falls off
• The fans offering them sex really start to scare them
• They must travel by ambulance when they go on tour
• A reporter takes a picture of them and the camera explodes
• No one is downloading their work, legally OR illegally
• They say they are going to release a new recording, but refer to an obsolete format such as vinyl, and everybody laughs
• They record a song for a Disney animated feature and people wonder who the hot new artist is