I've been thinking a lot about love, lately... must be something in the air. Valentine's Day is right around the corner and I've been thinking a lot about that, too. Being in a stable, loving relationship and being a mommy to boot has changed me a lot. I used to view Valentine's Day as something purely commercial and kind of a "gimme" ... Flowers, candy, perfume, jewelry... where does it all end?

This hub is about something entirely different, something we've often over-looked during the rest of the year... romance. I'm going to give you some free, (or as close to it as possible,) romantic gestures that are sure to wow your partner. And to up the ante, as it were, I'm suggesting you start practicing them... now!

Everyone is different, in order to give a truly fantastic massage I suggest starting out slow and asking your partner as you run your hands over their body what they like... and what they don't like. Vary your rhythm and pressure, while men can generally enjoy a slightly rougher massage, that doesn't mean they want to be clawed, and guys... most women don't like to be pinched with the whole of your hand, try alternating your technique with a flat-palmed approach. The most expensive part of this will probably be the massage oil. Personally, I prefer the massage bars that LUSH sells, here's a link to my absolute favorite massage bar they make:

As you can see from the video, the woman performing the massage uses a lot of oil, probably the most important part of giving a great massage is just making sure the skin is slick. Unlike messy bottles of baby oil, the massage bar I recommend will be a lot easier to control. (The smell is simply divine, too.) However, at eight dollars a bar, it is costly... you can still have some of the same control by using a cocoa butter stick, instead. Simply push the stick up all the way and break off at the base. The Soft Coeur bar is easier to manage and has a better scent, but the cocoa butter bar smells pretty good, too, and isn't as pricey.

Okay... so maybe you don't have time to give a full body massage or not on a regular basis, but what about giving a massage every week, once a week, working up to the full body massage on Valentine's Day? Start out with a foot rub, move your way up your partners body and on Valentine's Day lay the big one on... Don't forget the often disregarded scalp massage... It's why we pay extra to get a shampoo at the salon.

When I was in high school I went with a guy who worked at a video store and needless to say, probably didn't have a lot of money just laying about. About a couple of times a month I would open my mailbox to find it full of Warheads. It was a sweet, (well... sour, then sweet,) gesture that I still can remember 20 years later. If you've been with your partner for awhile, you probably know some of their favorite candies. You can be as elaborate with this as you'd like. Make a little gift basket, for all I care, but make an effort, because that's what they'll remember. Put the candy in unexpected, (but sure to be found,) places. While, personally, I am never one to turn down a box of chocolates, (especially Godiva or Ghirardelli,) times are tight and chocolate is always good, be it in the form of a truffle or a Snicker's Bar.

I love cooking. I'm not good at it, but as they say, it is the thought that counts. My boyfriend makes me breakfast almost every Sunday, he used to be a short order cook for a summer in high school, so it's always perfect. When I cook for him our measure of if it's successful is if I haven't managed to set anything on fire or kill us all with botulism. In that spirit, I give you a favorite thing that I like to make us for breakfast that hopefully will continue to not kill us all:

Take a few potatoes and chop 'em up... add them to an iron skillet coated in olive oil and fry on high heat. While they're frying dust them with your assorted herbs and seasonings... I like adding a little: chili powder, cayenne pepper, dill, oregano / basil, peppercorn and then just a splash of Goya Adobo with pepper, a seasoning salt that is great on everything. Go light on the salt, you'll see why next: chop up a couple of Scott Peterson's smoked sausage links and add to the potatoes... while those are cooking up nicely, chop some onions, add to the mixture when the potatoes and sausage are just about done. Slice up some garlic cloves and add those.... Garlic is really good for you, it'd be considered the herb of love if it didn't stink so much. Right around the time everything looks cooked through, crack a few eggs, add a dash of milk and some cheese shavings and scramble. On a separate skillet fry up the scrambled eggs. I like using a little real butter for the eggs it gives them that authentic, "gosh that's really good," taste. While the eggs are cooking up drop a couple of english muffins in the toaster and start putting all the condiments out, (hot sauce, jam butter, cups of water / juice / milk...) by the time you're done doing that the eggs and toast will be done and everything will be hot and ready to go at the same time.

What is really fun about making your loved one a home cooked meal is cooking together.  Even if neither of you are good cooks, there's bound to be something out there that the two of you can whip up together.  The joy is in the experience, so to speak. 

Here are a couple of tips on things I think you shouldn't give or do for Valentine's Day:

Buying perfume or cologne is a personal choice of taste. I only suggest doing so if you know what your partner wants and they've used it before. Just because s/he wants the newest bottle of scent that has hit the market doesn't mean they'll like it when they've actually gotten it.

Cards mean a lot more when they're made by hand. Period. (No, using your laser printer doesn't count unless it is hand-signed and has a lot of personal touches.)

Flowers die and that's kind of depressing. I know a lot of women like getting flowers, but what about a nice herb plant, or something actually kind of useful? Flowers work best as a gift if they're part of a package that includes something you can reuse.

My advice to guys out there, though it is probably an unpopular view: Under no circumstances should you ask your girl to marry you on Valentine's Day. There's a myriad of reasons why I think it's a bad idea, but since this article is all about the love, I'll give one reason only... Valentine's Day is special enough without all that... if you're really sure, ask her the next day. Wake her up with breakfast in bed and a side of jewelry box.

I've gone out on the night of Valentine's Day, but this year what I'd like more than anything is an evening all to myself with my man. Maybe it's the Midwesterner in me, but it's cold out there. I'd like to maybe do a little grocery shopping during the day, find us something we could cook together that night, pick up a couple of six packs, turn the phones off and just spend the night sacked in together: cooking, drinking, playing games and watching a little telly. I can't think of anything more romantic than that. Especially if I can look forward to that full body massage at the end of the night.