Romance can be like painting a beautiful landscape. The euphoric feeling you get when you look back at it and smile as it's the most beautiful thing you ever saw, because it came from your heart and there it is in front of you like a wish manifest.

Romance with a woman is the same way, only she's the canvas, your romantic symbols are but the paint brushes and the paint is the emotions you generate and sculpt by painting from "memory" of what is truly important to her. The romantic gesture is the painting, so why would you just hand her the canvas without the paint and the pictures?

I've always thought that a guy who will take the time to be romantic is the same guy who will take time in bed to make love to her, not just have sex with her. He's the same guy who knows how to kiss her passionately and romantically, not just kiss her like a horny teenager. (These are quotes I hear all the time from women lol)

Some guys really have no idea about romance, they try to copy hallmark commercials, or television shows but miss the point entirely. Romance is not about the flowers and the candy, its about personal attention, listening and showing her you care by reflecting what you know about her through the "romantic gestures". The painting is what she loves, not the canvas or paints but the picture you so tirelessly and creatively painted for her. Make sense?

How you act on a date, your mannerisms and your disposition all reflect who you are and HOW YOU LIVE. How you are at home should reflect the person you are on a date so if you want to be a passionate guy with alot of class you need to start living holistically this way. Setting up your home, your room or rented space to reflect already being at that stage where she will come over helps your mindset, and saves you time cleaning up when you do bring her home unexpectedly. Always wake up and clean your room, make your bed, these things help you become organized and dissolve laziness, traits women hate in men. The following video will help you with an experts view on the subject.

This is a two fold article. In the first half I'll show you the principals for "Decoding True Romance", and building instant and lasting rapport. How you need to learn the most about your date so you can build the most amazing and custom romantic gestures she's ever seen (or he if your a woman) and make her feel like a true princess both around you and when your not even there.

"A woman loves you not for who you are, but for who she is around you"

The second half of this article I will lace with several examples of my own romantic gestures and things I've done over the years that girls still tell their new boyfriends about. *smile*

"Why can't you be more romantic?"

I hear this so much from women talking to their boyfriends, especially my friends who witness my girlfriend telling them about how Jerrico did this or that... I try to give them a clue but they simply don't get it (May I add that for some guys that's a pun, a consequence of not being romantic can be not getting it *smile*) I built this hub partly to give women a resource to send their boyfriends to, to clue them in without having to tell them..

If this first half is second nature to you skip to the bottom half for ideas to add to your Leggo set of gestures you can personalize for her heart melting pleasure. Don't use these exactly as I did, just use them as a launching board if you get Romantic Writers block *smiles* Remember it's the personalization that's the key not the act, but the act, acts as the paper you put the words of romance on.. So it can be an important structural step, but by no means is the reason she will remember the gestures.

Don't be that guy who women tell people "has no clue" or "he was romantic when we first met but now he's just pathetic". Guys if you have a girlfriend and she's telling people "Chivalry is dead" there is a problem.

When you show a woman her own smile through romance she respects you more and will reciprocate it back to you. So few people truly have a clue about romance. Honestly I don't get it, how hard is it to do this? For me it's always been common sense. Now I may not come off as the most charismatic person in the world but when it comes to showing a woman her smile, I always find a way.

This doesn't always come easy for me; hell it is not so simple that it doesn't require work, if it were no guys could be labeled "clueless" in the romance department. Although television shows and movies sure make romance seem pretty templated, cut and dry don't they? Pay attention theirs more there if you look past the superficial roses and candy... The commercial markets for flowers and chocolates have you brainwashed to see candy, buy candy, but you miss so much about how he got the candy, what candy he got, how he presented it and so on.

Personally I enjoy the set up, the gathering of her favorites and getting to know HER.. It's as exciting as the gesture becomes later. Being romantic this way also helps you learn to listen more and talk less, a woman has an ocean to share with you if you just shut up and let her share.

I've always been jealous of those guys who seem so naturally "debonair" (Robert Downey Jr., Brad Pitt to name a few) Charm that appears as intoxicating and easy as breathing, but this doesn't mean I can't be the same way by showing a girl "her" charm not so much my own. Besides anything worthwhile requires work. Work doesn't mean it's not fun, just means it is not something you can do without paying attention and putting some emotional sweat equity into it.

Lacing "Her" into it is what makes it valuable to her, so much so that she will never forget it, and your efforts won't go unrewarded.

What truly makes anything romantic is not cliché's but how you laced her into it. Women aren't superficial or stupid, their highly attuned to their emotions and know when your templating romance... and guys, their is no brownie points for "trying" when you pull a template stunt, its one taken away for trying to manipulate her and insult her intelligence! It truly is the thought that counts not the act.

When they say they like something you did it has nothing to do with the object you used to convey your love, but the meaning behind the presentation. She doesn't make love to the candy and flowers, she makes love to YOU.

You could pick up a rock from the ground and turn it into the most romantic things anyone's every given her.. (theirs a lot more to this obviously) but you can also give her 3 dozen of the most amazing roses and candies she's ever seen and be seen as the biggest jerk ever. When you watch TV for romance advice, pay attention to what the guy does, and why he does it.

I guarantee you its not the symbols (roses, candy, jewelery etc..) that melt her heart, it's the thought that counts. Romantic gestures don't tell her how sexy she is, they tell her how sexy she makes you feel, and by reflecting that to her she sees that it's the real her not her amazing body, that turns you on, but the persons she is. This is why its so important to lace into the act what you love about her, if you neglect this you may as well hand her the chocolates and say stupidly.. "Here's some chocolates, wanna have sex?" And the slap in the face you get will be well earned. That will be the only passion you receive for your efforts.

The more thought detected, evidenced by you knowing what she likes and cherishes, the more value anything has. I repeat this fact several times because I hope to get it into your head, this is the part of romance almost every guy misses or messes up on and stands there with a big question mark above their head as they say "I just don't get women, I did everything right and she didn't even appreciate that I made an effort.. What gives?"

Romance is a verb not a noun. Well it may be an adverb too, I get lost in the "verbiage" lol but you get my meaning. I've told my friends this so many times and they simply don't get it... They must be dense or something... Is the rash of women telling them this too not penetrating either? I don't know... But if you're here reading this I think your open to learn the truth about romance and not the "fluff" you see in the media.

If it's done with true feeling and meaning YOU too get something amazing out of the act- BEFORE she reacts. Personally I absolutely love the whole process, the shopping, the picking of flowers, the creativity, the finding ways to lace her amazing splendor into symbols like flowers and breakfast in bed. Romance shouldn't die in a relationship either.

I think most romantic gestures guys do for women are done superficially and selfishly, to get something back, and when they stop receiving things from her the romance dies, proving this was their true motivation. True romance is selfless, it's about her not you, and so it shouldn't die unless you've become selfish not selfless.

Romance is an incredible opportunity to express your feelings for someone. It's an electric current that shocks her then returns to hit you as well.. It's the swiftest form of good karma available.

I once turned an old pizza box (pizza we ordered for our date), some dead roses (that she gave me a week ago and were starting to wilt), pictures (of our several years together and the kids), and flower (kind you cook with) into a romantic gesture that she will never forget, it was how I presented it that made it so special.

The box was the pizza we ate earlier on our date, but I taped white paper all around it then laced the edges with pictures of us and her kids going out everywhere (obviously this wasn't a first date), I used this as the "white picket fence" and the box was the foundation of our relationship. (I also for effect put pictures on all the cabinets in the kitchen and on the microwave etc..)

I then put flower on the top of the box (snow from our time skiing) and took the roses she bought me that died recently and broke the peddles up (the ones on the inside are still fresh vibrant peddles) spreading them all over the "snow" on the top of the box. I took a trinket that meant something to us, a little "love bug" dollar tree toy with a lady bug inside on a little spring and "love bug on the lid" and placed it in the front. I went outside and scoured our entire neighborhood to find some supporting flowers, like pine needles and certain kinds of leaves that looked pretty and poked them into the top of the box. When it all came together it was a consolidation of memories built into a mural, an emotional bubble bath.

Before you waste your time on a bad date, I've included some insight into how to protect yourself from the jerks and idiots you may meet. With the increasing online dating scene you really have to prepare yourself on the first date to pay attention and not waste your time on a psycho!

I will enlighten you to some of my bad dates and how I learned to avoid this in the future. Nothing feels emptier than throwing yourself out there romantically to realize you wasted your time with someone who won't even appreciate your hard work or efforts!

I once met a girl on myspace, the lesson of my life in not taking people for granted, or rushing into a relationship with someone who seems all butterflies and sugar.

I was minding my own business working on my business online when she found my on myspace and sent me a message.. Seemed innocent enough, and I wrote back. The emails went back and forth and started out long and emotional on her side. I liked her energy and I love reading long emails so we played email tag for about a week then decided to move it into Yahoo Instant messenger.

She seemed so normal, so passionate and so confident in herself. Her emails were about love and it turned out she found me interesting because of a survey I had on my profile, all the funny things I put to answer them (I hate surveys so I was rebelling by making fun of the questions).

I gave her my messenger ID and she found me and we started talking. In answer to one of her questions about love I wrote her this 3 page dissertation of what love is to me, how it develops what it stands for and how I saw a perfect relationship (I've written a similar hub about this). When she read this email she said she cried (which I found a bit odd), and we talked in Yahoo messenger for about an hour. Still appearing normal, but a bit forward for just meeting me.

We then that same day moved to the phone and talked. I didn't realize it at first but a lot of the things she told me were hallmarks of a disturbed person being hidden behind a social mask. I won't get into them as to respect her privacy but none of these things hit me even as careful as I am at paying attention to people and their mannerisms. I however wasn't as adept at reading people back then, and she was my motivation to learn not to run into this again.

We decided to meet face to face, she wanted to come pick me up and we decided to go to starbucks coffee. They were closed but we went to a restaurant for coffee instead.

When I saw her I was blown away, she was very sexy, and a smile that could light a match underwater and her shy but outgoing personality was invigorating. When we got to the restaurant she was very shy, she had a certain lack of self esteem but I thought this was just nerves. We talked and things went really well, she didn't talk much unless I initiated the conversation but she was a sport anyway.

She did however want to escalate our relationship and had a certain infatuation with me because of that email.. again a bit odd but I was down for the ride as this was becoming pretty interesting and I thought she was gorgeous both personality and physical wise. She offered to go back to her place, and as a guy I admit this was very inviting.. I won't lie thoughts of getting laid were on my mind but I really liked this girl and for the first time I think in my life I wanted to take this slow as it could develop into something meaningful.

When we got back to her place she got online right away (???) and I gave her chit for this and got her off the computer.. She flirtatiously took me back to her bedroom, this house was pretty charming and her room was really charming!

She lit candles and put on the TV where we watched Nip Tuck. She invited me to lay on the bed (you don't have to ask me twice) and looks became cuddling, cuddling became kissing, kissing became- ok here's where it gets weird even for me.

I started kissing her neck and she started moaning.. Nothing weird yet.. Remember we met only a week ago, talked for an hour on the phone, had about an hour of coffee conversation and now were in her room making out.. Again nothing weird, this happens all the time.. But.. When I started to kiss her neck she started to say "I want you to just F*- me hard and.. and it got graphic"..

honestly I'm a guy and all but I like a little romance first even for sex, I like some foreplay and so on (I know not a typical guy but I'm not really).. What she was saying should have turned me on but it really turned me off.. I felt certain desperation in her entire presence, and wondered if this was going to be a one night then break my heart stand. I get attached to a woman I make love to I don't do the one night stands.. Maybe its my kinesthetic nature (I feel my world not so much see it).

I slowed down and backed off, and she started asking desperate questions, what's wrong, do you like me? what did I do? things of that nature.. I said you know I just want to get to know you more, your an amazing woman, very sexy (I enunciated this).. She looked disappointed, then left the room and when she came back she was wearing NOTHING. I was shocked actually because this girl worked out, very in shape and at this point I didn't understand why I wasn't jumping on her..

This whole thing kind of stopped and she passed out, I was still wearing most of my clothes, I felt this was going too fast and felt uneasy about the whole thing, but I really did like her.. But couldn't understand why a woman that looked like this and had a nice personality was acting so desperately? The myspace concept entered my mind at that point.

I ended up staying at her house the next day after she went to work, I thought besides the rest we did hit it off and she asked me to stay so I figured I'd sleep in and relax. When I got up I walked to the store to buy some mountain dew and when I put it in the refrigerator I remembered her saying its a mess in their I want to clean it so badly but just never have the time.

I thought hmm why don't I surprise her, I'll clean it for her and she'll be happy when she gets home right? According to several dates after her this was not an invasive act, but when she saw it she felt violated.. I didn't throw anything away I just wiped it clean and kind of organized it.. She didn't say anything either, she just smiled and I felt the pause before she said "thank you that was so sweet".

She cooked me dinner that night and we messed around again but still no sex, actually at the second time I wanted sex and she played hard to get (butt naked even).. Talk about a confusing person?

She took me home that night and I didn't even know what to think, I did feel I needed a day to sort my mind out and so I just relaxed in the back yard and meditated to all of this.. She called and said I'm picking you up.. I said I don't know I was thinking actually of staying home and relaxing.. She then demanded, no I wasn't asking.. See you in a few minutes, I'm almost there.

!

My jaw dropped and I became a bit disturbed by this but told myself just go with it, the girl likes you.. No biggie right? heh.. so she comes by and refuses to come in to meet my roommates, very antisocial behavior not to mention I wasn't yet ready, she waited in the car and pulled the car two houses up, which was also strange as hell.

We went to her house and watched TV, she told me she wasn't taking me home and just stared at me with this lovely gaze, I didn't know weather we were going to make out or if she was going to tease me again or what.. at this point I was a bit confused and uncomfortable.

We ended up going to bed, she fell asleep while I took a shower and I had this strange evil like feeling about her like she was dangerous but very good at hiding it. I got the Psycho vibe (probably everything consolidated together).

The next day I didn't wake up with her I just slept, she asked me if I wanted to go home and I said yes.. then before I could get dressed she left for work. (??).

She called me from work and started to act strange, she said she was having reservations, and I said look I'm not trying to rush you and if you not comfortable with this we can go back to the way it was, she kept saying things like "I don't know.. " but wouldn't explain what she meant

I decided to do something for her again, and I set up the house to candle lights, made her dinner and played some sexy music on the TV.. Honestly I wasn't sure what to do but I wanted to let her know I liked her. The night before we took a bath together and talked about things. She told me "You know you could hurt my heart right now, don't you?"

She started telling me how much she liked me which is what triggered this romantic vigil. She had mentioned before she liked the picture of me in a dress shirt and tie so when she picked me up I brought the exact shirt and tie in the picture of me on myspace.

I wore that long sleeved shirt in 100 degree weather, candles burning making it hotter, I turned on the air but it didn't seem to cool the place fast enough.. when she got home she walked past me like I wasn't there, blew out all the candles, played with her little dog, ignored me didn't even say hi..

I stood there in shock.. She was acting very strange and I told her actually rudely at this point I was tired of this strange rude attitude of hers to take me home, and she lost it.. The real Wendy came out and I decided this was too weird and told her to take me home again, she dropped me off and that was that.. I never saw her again after that. I didn't realize it till I got home that my wallet and a pair of pants were over there..

She refused to bring them back or let me come get them and threw them away! My wallet! License and all! I feared identity theft...

After this date I will never forget, the following prescreening interview date was my norm :) never fails either:

Romance is not something you overdue on the first date!!! It negates it because of the very definition of what gives its meaning. You can't meet someone and never went out with them other than the two minutes you saw them at a club where you got their number, and have enough information to romance her.

You can however be charming and pay close attention to her and things she says and as the night goes on you can start to really build up some romance potential.. But the first date is critical! Exercise Patience especially on a first date, or you may not get a second opportunity!

If you buy her flowers buy her a single stemmed rose not a dozen roses. You don't want to come off as desperate. Let her know you like her but don't seem like your in love head over heals already because she's pretty to you. I would suggest you not buy a red rose, but a yellow one or white one, and tell her its (yellow) a symbol of a budding friendship (white) a symbol of a fresh start.

Their are of course exceptions to every rule, one I show in one of my first dates below. As this wasnt really a first date, more of a second. We met on Myspace (she found me) and started emailing (LONG emails about ourselves) each other for about a month then we moved it to the phone where we talked for 3 months (I don't rush an online date anymore).

Once we felt compfortable with each other and by this time all those 9 hour talks, and 30 page emails lol, we felt like we knew each other pretty well, we met up at starbucks for a primer date.. we both had busy lives so we only had an hour but decided to meet to see if the phisical attraction was there, as we both agreed it is important to have physical attraction (chemically and phisical appearance).

Let me tell you what I do on a primer date besides getting to know her more in person. This is a way to be sure I am not wasting my time with an emotionally disturbed girl (and ladies I know you've been there too so you understand the "interview" process of a first date :).. I do this seemlessly and at this point habitually so it doesnt sound as cold as it sounds.

The First date Interview: Prescreaning for the first official date

I'll tell you this describing a successful date (but even she turned out to be on the disturbed side but at least it wasnt much more than a manipulative personality.. she got through my filters but their was no second date) At any rate here's the process that works most of the time and screens out the really strange ones. Since this date did go well I added the actual date and set up in the bottom half of this article.. for now I'll talk about the prescreener date we had at starbucks then at the bottom the date at my home.

Ann-

This was our first Date, but over 100 hours of talking on the phone over several months.. this was hehe a myspace date that actually went quite well.. She found me in a profile search.. I swore I'd never date anyone on myspace as I'd had a few not so fun experiences, but she restored my faith with this date. We talked on the phone for a long time so I could read her better before bringing her to my home..

I like the personal dates at my house better than going out.. I feel more at ease and comfortable and it makes for less problems that can arise.. and my home is very nice and rivals even a nice restaurant :) I do always take my dates first to Starbucks for coffee so I can read body language.. You never know until you see someone talk and move around if their full of chit. I've met women who seemed like the cat's meow until you meet them in person, and the body language doesn't lie. Body language is also 70% of our communication and you can't hide things even if you try.

Their being a corresponding movement to every thought you can actually learn to read your lovers mind over time if you just pay attention to the word/body language connection. In any language people generally use only 500 words to communicate everything, with each person we choose a specific 500 words/slang which is what gives us structure for our personality. The trick is to:

• Pick out their 500 words and slang words (500 total average combined)
• Tie them to certain movements and networks of body language
• figure out the ways they interchange into several patterns of behavior based on things like different moods (words mean different thing when tied to different moods)

Reading into what words they use and how they move and react to them when they HEAR THEM BACK from me is what helps me learn to read them. It's also a rapport technique called "Mirroring". It's hard for someone to lie to me in person, and after a while I can even make a correlation of vocal inflections and words used in the same way I read body language. I no longer put more empasis on their words unless their body language matches. Generally at first people havent figured out how to lie to you yet, they pick up on YOU and then manipulation and liying can begin, before hand they try to be honest as their not sure how you'll react.. this is a your window to learn them with intense devotion to detail, then you can beat them to the punch if they try to lie to you you can call them on it.. if you call someone on a behavior their less likely to try it again.. especailly if you catch it the first time... Dr. Phil's life laws are the ten commandments of behavior, one life law is "You teach people how to treat you" if you "reward their behavior" you show them "what works" and they will "do what works". Thats 4 life laws in one swift motion. Learn the ten life laws and noone will be able to get one past you!

The book is "Life Strategies" by Dr. Phil Mcgraw

Too many bad dates made me learn all this stuff, but its good to know for general life, business, dating, and any interpersonal relationships where you have to trust someone! It also helps you to pay attention to your lover/date/friends so you can reflect happiness to them in their own language!

You do learn more with every date.. the bad ones teach you peoples manipulative behaviors so I dont find them a loss.. how else would I have learned how to defend myself against the wendy's of the world?

The hallmark of a True Romantic gesture is one that is not just momentary or "cliché'" but one that is so personal and enlightening that it goes beyond anything that could happen in your relationship. It becomes an integral part of her consciousness. A true romantic gesture cannot be negated even if the relationship goes horribly wrong. The reason for this is its not a valentines day templated gesture, its an experience that digs down deep into her heart and becomes one of those moments she revisits when she needs to feel her smile.

This kind of romance takes some work on your part so don't go getting lazy or try to buy her love with a standard teddy bear and chocolates or the "everyone gets them" roses. If you follow the following tips you will learn how to put a personal touch on anything you do for her, even standard roses can become unique... It's all in how you do it and your intention.

One of the ingenious things about true romance is it glues the relationship together as its very format is designed to heighten communication, show her you care and it forces you to pay attention to what she loves. When romance dies in a relationship you can bet that communication is next.

I like to talk to a girl on the phone before dating her so I can get to know what she's about. This helps me to if need be stimulate the conversation if things get nervous. I've rarely become nervous on a date, and I'm almost never at a loss for topics to bring up, but it never hurts to be prepared. I notice that if a girl really likes you she can become nervous on the first date and may be depending on you to start and keep the conversation rolling. I love being the dominate one in conversations, but I don't like to be the only one talking or asking questions.

Your best research happens on the first date

A good conversationalist will spend a great deal of time stimulating the other person with questions and interesting observations about them. I like to tell a girl what I think is beautiful about her, if its her voice, her nose, her ears, her hair, or the way she laughs, I find it attractive for a girl to be a little shy too and always mention that. When I talk to a girl on the first date I'm asking her questions, making statements, telling stories, all to both help her get to know who I am, and to see how she responds body language wise.

This is all good information that I will use later if she's lucky enough to endure my romantic side. I don't just give away this side of me at first, and theirs a reason for it. Romance is an expression of love and it like love needs to be slowly cultivated. I am romantic on the first date, but I limit what I express or how much because I simply don't have enough information until I get to know her. Romance isn't just something you use like a tool to get laid, it's an art form and a culmination of your relationship, which becomes the reflected expression of what you have.

Eye contact is good but if she's nervous you may not want to stare into her eyes right away, as it will make her feel awkward. I break the ice usually with jokes or puns, or third party intervention with the waitress (crack jokes that make her and the waitress laugh). If I notice my date is nervous about me liking her I will help her feel more relaxed by compromising my outward confidence at first. I won't lie to her but I'll do something that let's her know that I'm nervous too.

Generally if you can get a girl to talk about herself her nerves subside and she will become herself easily... your reaction to her information is key to making her feel confident around you, so while she talks you should be memorizing this information for romance later, but be sure to look into her eyes as she talks. Theirs a magic in two people staring into each others eyes.

They even did a study and concluded that the very act of staring into another's eyes can make someone fall in love with you. It's not real love of course but what happens is it generates specific chemicals in the body that make you feel instant rapport and feel like your in love (euphoria). Smiles always put people at ease too. We have this part of our brain that uses "mirroring neurons" which means when we witness an act our brain fires neurons as if we yourself are doing what were witnessing.

If you see another smile congruently you feel the smile and it causes you to feel the same endorphins you'd trigger if you yourself smiled. Did you know that a physical smile triggers endorphins, even if its not a real smile, i.e. backed by the emotion of happiness. If you can get a girl to laugh or smile you will trigger enough endorphins to relax her and the real conversations can begin.

I like to relate to things about her. I'll ask her questions and get her to tell me about herself, her happy moments etc.. then I'll link my own related moments to it then at some point I can pretty much predict other moments in her life that were triggered by those and will bring up mine, which she can relate to (things like everyone gets nervous at a job interview and inevitably the same questions happen, so I'd get her to talk about her interview experience and then talk about mine, and bring up the inevitable questions like "so tell me a little about yourself" which everyone gets stumped at and everyone has a story. These kinds of conversations put people at ease and build rapport.

I love to romance a girl and really hit that happy place in her heart so I ask a lot of questions especially on the first date, but I do it between conversations as ways of opening up the rapport, not like a 20 question survey.

I am writing this from the male perspective because these are things I've done for women to show I care about what's important to them, and I love to make a woman smile and feel like a princess, however these work equally well for women to guys. I don't recommend you approach these tips as step by step instructions but more so as examples of how to sweep someone off their feet by showing them you listen to them and want to make them feel good.

Romance is not about sex, it's about emotion, it's about breaking the ice and its about bringing someone to their special place of love. It can be about showing someone you admire them romantically. The details count so be sure not to forget that. You don't simply buy a girl flowers, you buy her flowers that mean something, and always if possible find out what kind of flowers she likes the best. Not all women like roses!!

I dated a girl who hated roses but adored carnations. I dated another girl who liked all kinds of flowers and couldn't decide which one she liked (in the following scenario was such a woman, so I won't ruin the build up of that story here).

Romance is about communicating from the heart. I find that picking flowers for her or making her something always beats store bought romance, especially on valentines day where everyone in the world is buying templated gifts that sure they look cute but aren't special. She may melt when you bring her a teddy bear but bring her something no one else will get then you'll make her feel truly like a princess and special.

I do recommend the new "build a bear" idea as it is special and if you do your research FIRST, don't just guess what she will think is "sweet" but actually do some Q&A with her to elicit what she adores, from colors to if she's a sports fan. The build a bear shop is amazing as it gives you an amazing amount of details you can add to the bear that really show her you know what SHE is about. I try to stay away from anything commercial in nature... other than jewelry, women love jewelry (although personally I don't get the infatuation)..

I had a date lined up and wanted to make a good impression but mostly I wanted to maker smile and to keep her feeling swept off her feet. For a woman the romance is emotional not so much just what you go buy and put together but the reasons you did it. To really impress upon her how much you care, be sure to customize the set up to reflect things you talk about. When I'm in the courting phase of dating I ask a lot of questions. For one people love to talk about them-selves so this is pretty easy. It shows interest and you can learn a lot of things about them right off the bat that you can use to stimulate her for years to come. Bottom line pay attention and show her you care about her and you will give her the most wonderful gift any guy could.. the gift she's been wanting all her life.

Rapport is about connection, and being on the same page!

This next half of the hub is my personal romantic gestures. I only have a few here so far but am adding more every day so keep checking back for more. If I come a cross any good sites with tips I'll be sure to add links to those too at the bottom. The first tactic I used was converting things that you shared together, things that meant something to both of you, remember the little things from the beginning, keep a log if you need to but these are the memories she remembers, and when you bring them up years later she will adore you for it.

I saw an episode of the Cosby show once that showed how powerful this could be. The "men" had a bet to see who could sweep their significant other off their feet the best and so they all went out to do so. They made a limit to what they could spend but this only lead them each to do something more personal.

The one that really stood out was bill Cosby's to his wife. He gave her a box and said (this is from memory) "Clair, their was a time when a 16 year old boy and a 15 year old girl were walking through some shops and the girl saw this green hair clip (I forget how he described it but it made her face change as if wow you remembered that?) He continued.. She saw that hair clip and her face lit up, but that 16 year old boy didn't have the means to get it for her... (He went on)

He handed the little box to her after the presentation.. and what I forgot to mention was the girls found out about the bet and decided to sabotage the guys efforts, but the first two wives caved because they did something so personal and sweet that it melted their heart, well Clair had this devious look on her face and before opening the box she said "I hated that hair clip, it was Suzie somebody who wanted that ugly ol thing (she thought she had him there) then he said really? open the box, and it was something that she really wanted (a ring or something) and he said that's right, Suzie did want that hair clip but you wanted this ring next to it in the window.. and Clair melted because who can resist a man who remembers the little desires she has that she herself forgot about (but remembered all too well when he brought it up again)..!

I tried to find the episode on YouTube but met with no success. If you want to look it up yourself its Cosby show; Episode 144 season 6 "Isn't that romantic". It really nailed home romance as is described in this hub. You can learn a lot about romance from the Cosby show. Clair and Dr. Huxtable were the apidemy of romantic.

I suggest you remember every tiny detail of what she wants and the story of how she came to want it, or see it.. a woman's heart is an ocean and these little things the creatures in her ocean, they all count!

The second was the carnation.. The next one is a first date I had with a girl I met online but talked to on the phone for about 3 months before meeting her.. We built up quite a lot of rapport already and she was coming over for dinner I was preparing her.. But first dessert..

Personally I like the idea of bringing her a carnation that I've prepared. If you buy a pretty white carnation (biggest one you can find) then slit the bottom of the stem at a diagonal angle under water, then after about a minute (let the water seem in before you take it out or the flower will suffocate) then put it into a glass or vase filled with water with food coloring in it. (Warm water speeds up the process I read).

Find out her favorite color ahead of time, (if its brown or black try to find a bright color she likes) and use that color of food coloring. After a few days the carnation will have a tint of that color and the edges will sharpen to that color. Its quite a neat effect and you can tell her when you give it to her what you did. You can say that you knew her favorite color was blue so you made this flower for her, "..The white is me and the blue is you, so far your just starting to make an impression on me".

For more on this technique and the science behind the trick visit this page:

Color changing Carnations

It's a sweet gesture that is unique and charming. I've only used this once but she absolutely thought it was the sweetest thing anyone ever did for her, the very 2 days of prep work made the flower to her valuable as it showed her I was willing to try more than most to impress her or make her smile.. It's symbolic of what kind of relationship we will have. I like to do different and new things with every date.. I don't like to template concepts either, as it takes the special for her out of it.. if she finds out this apparently unique act you did for her was done for another ex girlfriend (and they always find out, your mom slips or something lol) it will negate the act when she finds out.

If you do it from my example here and you've never done it before that's fine, just don't template it with all your dates, their are a million things you can do that are special, the internet is full of ideas!

Set up:

A dozen and a half roses, (18 at Wal-Mart is 9.00!! and their just as good as if not better than shop bought roses for 35.00+ and I worked there at the time so I got 10% off that.. I also bought another dozen and passed them out to the ladies working at Wal-Mart and a few customers, to get some smiles, my way of being nice and preparing myself to receive her reaction, this helps to remove the "nervousness"..

and if I ever brought her into Wal-Mart she'd be a celebrity :) as I told them I was preparing for a date. ) 2 of every color, yellow, purple, white, red, orange, one blue rose, this one I made by taking a white rose and slicing the bottom half of the stem in several spots (notches) then the angular cut at the bottom and putting it alone in a vase overnight with blue food coloring.. ) and pink.

I arranged 2 of every color (10 variety colors, 1 blue (white conversion), and 7 bright yellow roses, and I added more yellow to it by purchasing (6.00) a bouquet of flowers with a lot of yellow daisy like flowers, both small and tiny series on a stem) I wanted the yellow to really stand out as this was a first date and I wanted to assure she got the right impression, friends first.. this serves also to balance out the rest of this elaborate set up designed to show her I heard every word she every said to me.

Strawberries

Hershey's chocolate syrup (the kind that freezes up on ice cream or cold strawberries :)

Grapes

I prepared the whole shebang by putting all the food in the refrigerator (grapes strawberries and left the chocolate syrup out).

The first thing you always should do is unwrap the roses and fill the sing up with water then put all the roses in the water. You can wrap the rose stems with a rubber band to keep them together and to preserve any other flowers in the arrangement. Taking a sharp knife submerged in the water (stems up to about half way up to assure nothing comes out of the water in the process) you cut the bottom about an inch up at an angle.

I just try to cut all of them as if I were cutting a loaf of bread, I cut several of them then twist the arrangement around cutting till all of them are cut, double check to assure all stems even in the middle got cut. This allows the roses to breath in the water, as the pores get clogged sitting at the shop and this is like removing the mask. Roses will generally last a week or more in full bloom if you do this, if you don't they could die over night. Most roses come with rose food and a cleaner (for the vase), MAKE SURE YOU DON'T CUT THE CLEANER INTO THE WATER BY MISTAKE!!!, my roommate did this and her roses died within hours, well they started to I cleaned out the vase when I saw them drooping and performed rose CPR and they survived for 2 weeks in full bloom.. Whew..

Once the roses were cut I left them in the sink while I prepared the rest, this gives them ample time to fill their stems with water before exposing them to the air. If you cut them and expose them to the air its like if you as a person were to poke a syringe into your arm and pump air into your blood stream, so give them at least a minute or two to absorb water into their cells then transfer them to the vase.

Next I wanted to cherry pick the strawberries for only perfect non bruised ones (I bought 3 baskets of strawberries instead of the one I'd need for this purpose). I carefully cut the strawberry tops off and reused them as decoration on the plate I used to put the roses on. This works because they will adhere to the plate over the hours and stay fresh looking all night. I used about a ¼ "slice and it gave the rose bouquet a bit of class :)

I cherry picked the strawberries and keeping them whole I washed them off (threw away the bruised ones) and put them in a bowl with paper towels lining the bottom, I used a patterned paper towel with hearts, and a decorative glass (clear crystal like) bowl. The paper towel will absorb any water (which can make the strawberries bruise or go soft). Keeping them in the refrigerator keeps them firm, but NEVER put them in a Tupperware container or a sealed container as this speeds up the process of them rotting, it traps old air in with them and no circulation. Contrary to popular belief this actually makes them rot faster! (Its one reason strawberries come in those neat little green baskets.

I then prepared the grapes. I got two kinds, green and purple both seedless (if you can find them) and cherry picked the perfect ones putting them in a bowel, I washed them and carefully put each grape in the bowl as to create a pattern, I used the purple ones to make a heart in the center and the green for background (cleaver huh?).

The chocolate syrup I put in a crystal bowl.

I prepared some chocolate velvet gourmet coffee, cut with some regular Folgers medium coffee (as not to overwhelm her with sweetness but give her the taste of chocolate and hazelnut (used hazelnut creamer cut with vitamin D milk, to control the sweetness). This was a perfect cup of coffee.

Thank you Shawn Shrout for the following tip with the cold milk!

When it was all brewed and poured (when she arrived) I took a half gallon of milk and shook it furiously for at least 30 seconds which causes the milk on the top to "froth" naturally and stay cold too! I poured this onto the top of the coffee cup and it gives it a cold froth foam that works like marshmallows do in hot chocolate to neutralize the heat in the coffee (and looks impressive). To give it a starbucks feel I stirred the coffee (the foam stays put) and pulled the spoon up a few times with coffee to lace color over the coffee (you get a brown swirled foam effect like in a cappuccino with foam)

I cut off the tops of the strawberries (the green tips) and put them on the plate around the roses as decoration (recycled), I didn't have a vase so I used my Starbucks travel coffee mug (with no handle and she loved Starbucks so...) :) silver went well with the flowers... and put it on a decorative plate, I planned to put the bowl of strawberries I cleaned and sprinkled with sugar and put in the refrigerator on the table with the flowers and next to it the bowl of Hershey's dark chocolate I also put in the refrigerator, and next to that I put hand picked grapes (took out all the good ones and put them in a bowl.. )

I wrote this on a singing hallmark card (with the song don't worry be happy playing)

Ann, I wanted our first date to be special so I made preparations to treat you like the princess you are to me. We've talked on the phone and in emails for over 3 months now for several hours a day (sometimes 9 lol) so I feel I know you well enough to make you smile. I want you to know I value your friendship beyond all else, and can't wait to talk to you. I've also prepared 3 episodes of your favorite show charmed without commercials to stimulate conversations as we always seemed to bring this up on the phone and have watched many episodes together. Just so you know what was on my mind when I bought this lovely bouquet of roses here's what they mean (no I didn't just go buy roses like every other shmuck):

The flowers are as follows:

Yellow for the budding friendship were growing (notice they dominate the arrangement)

Pink for the charm you so generously give me

Red for the way you make me blush

Purple for the way you make me feel enlightened and special (purple roses are hard to find!)

Blue, the hardest rose to find because it is not a natural rose, is for the uniqueness of our relationship.

White for the purity of our friendship so far, and orange which is a mixture of Yellow and red for the way your friendship makes me blush :)

Oh and I also made a special blend of chocolate velvet and medium roast coffee to keep you warm with the blissful taste of chocolate, a taste that is as sweet as the words coming from your lips.."

She was blown away but the way I pulled it off wasn't too much, I took steps to preserve humility and yet made absolutely sure to show her I listened to her on the phone. Every step from the strawberries (she loves) to the chocolate (said she loves that crackle chocolate syrup) to the grapes (she loves seedless grapes but purple were her favorite for taste) to the flowers (conveying friendship not love but showing intentions of more than friends later, and the blue rose she mentioned she always wanted). Starbucks coffee, I used the silver mug instead of buying one, and I made coffee that was better than but tasted as sweet as starbucks. Charmed was her favorite show and on the phone we'd watched and discussed many episodes (remind you of the movie when harry met sally?)

We had a good time and I even got a good night kiss thrown at me (She initiated it when I said goodby, I walked her to her car and said good bye, as I walked away she stopped and got out walked up to me tapped me on the shoulder by surprise and when I turned around she kissed me with a big hug too.. She said noone had ever respected her so much and gave her such amazing princess treatment.. and that she'd call me so we could go out this time on her... She was a fun date.. our lives were too different and we drifted apart but remained friends. She had a couple issues but for the most part was normal, she just feared committments because of broken hearts in the past.

I will continue to update the tips and tricks, dates and ideas portion of this hub so check back every once in a while for more! Thank you for reading my article, good luck with your date! remember you can always request more inforamtion if you like, by leaving me a comment or if your a hubpages author you can leave a request.

Have a wonderful day!

If you follow the many tips packed into this hub, including the avoiding those that would waste your time and kill your livelihood, you will discover a whole new exciting world of romance out there!

Once you get this down check out my popular article on The Science of Passion and the other one on Intoxicating Kisses and to avoid getting caught up in the "loneliness dating syndrome" fancy this article to help you not get stuck in a bad dating situation that you'll regret! ---> Decoding Loneliness

If you just happen to get a hickey on this date.. Here's a solution to getting rid of it fast (and what happens biologically so you can avoid it) Decoding Hickeys and cures . Heaven forbid you get a pimple before your first date.. Here's a way to get rid of it overnight! --> Quick Cure.

Just in case you two love birds do make it, let's avoid pitfalls shall we? What's the worst thing that can happen in a relationship? Jealousy.. so to prepare your mind for success in a relationship, Let's Decode Jealousy too The Jealousy hub has a bit in it about the "Lovers Body Language" which may help you as well.

Here's more help on understanding "Love" which will help you talk to her about what could become of you two :) I write this "Tribute to Love" to describe the perfect love Format and this Ride through the orgasms of love and Love thought potion will help you visualize a perfect sustaining and passionate relationship.

The most impactful however is this Definition of True Love which some say is so compelling it feels like an altered state of mind while reading it..

This one Decoding Love, will unlock the secrets of what love is at the core.. It is being rewritten as you read this but I thought I'd link it here anyway so you can read it.

With all these resources you will be well prepared to enter a date with the right mindset to chase what you really want, romance, respect, love, and passion. This if nothing else will help you with something to talk about and relate to.. I hope it all helps you.. Feedback is appreciated!