“I’ma go clean up.” Andres replied after I gave my self to him for the first time ever.

“Hold on.” I told Andres as I grabbed a hold of his hand to keep him from leaving the room. I had just gave him my virginity and I just wanted him to hold me. I was at his house, it was midnight, and I was staying at his house when I should have been in my own bed sleeping, that’s where my parents that I was anyway.

“What?” he asked calmly.

I pulled him back into bed as I softly replied “Hold me.”

He did as I asked. “You ok? How you feeling?” he asked as he gently caressed my arm.

“I’m fine. I feel good.” I smiled shyly. I could tell in his voice that he was proud that I let him be my first. Everything was the way I wanted it to be. Minus the rose pedals and “I’ll Make Love to You” by Boys to Men playing but it was with the person I wanted it to be with and he reacted the exact same way I always wanted my first to be. We laid in bed quietly for a few more minutes and then I let him get cleaned up as I laid in bed waiting for him to come back. When he came back he jumped into bed and nearly fell back asleep almost five minutes later. I then woke up him up to do it again. Even though he was really tired he gave it to me.

“So what now?” I asked Andres as he was taking me home.

“Well I just wanna take things slow.” Andres replied with words that pierced my heart like a ring pierced a tongue I couldn’t help but think to myself that me giving him my virginity is moving to fast or at least that’s what I thought.

I stayed quite.

“You know it’s just that I realize that every time we speed in our relationship everything ends up getting screwed up.”

“Ok I understand.” I lied.

We drove the rest of the way to my house in silence. So many thoughts going in my head about what was going on with my situation. I mean I know I love this man, it’s the only reason I let him be my first in the first place the reason why no matter what he puts me through I’m still there.

I tried not to worry about him he wanted to take things slow meaning we were not together so I could talk to who ever I wanted to without it being a problem and I didn’t feel guilty about it because I figured he was doing the same thing.

I didn’t tell my parents I was with him because I was afraid that he might hurt me again and I wouldn’t know how to face my parents after that. I told myself the last time that I would never let him in again but after hearing his voice on the phone I melted like I always did. I just wanted to make sure that everything was going to be just right.

“What’s up baby?” I greeted Angel in front of his apartment after I got out of school on Thursdays like I always did because his place was near my school. I met Angel at a flea market. He was with his boys and I thought he was really handsome. He was Puerto Rican, not so tall but taller than me. He had these cute eyes that looked at me respectfully and an adorable smile that was a little cocky but cute.

“Hi. How are you?” Angel greeted as he walked passed me.

“Fine and you.” I greeted back.

“Fine fine.”

I continued to look the sunglasses that I was pretty much pretending to be interested in.

“You know I can’t just leave it at that, right?” He came back.

I smiled. “I guess not.”

“So my name is Angel and yours?”

“Maritza.” I gave him my hand to shake.

“So can I get your number?”

“I don’t give my number out?” That was true. I didn’t. I liked having control on whether or not they heard from me. I don’t wanna be the one waiting by the phone.

“Ok.” As I handed him my phone to receive his number I heard his boys shout in approval. Which infuriated me. I wasn’t the one to be played and that’s how I felt. I felt like he was just trying to play me. So I didn’t call him until a week later. I wanted him to sweat a little. I even contemplated not calling him at all. Teach him I ain’t the kinda girl you can play with.

“What’s up? How was school?” He greeted back.

“Good. How was work?”

“Boring just making that money.”

“Yeah I know what you mean.”

We talked about a random things. The little stuff that just popped in to my head and things like that. I laid on his bed while he sat on a chair near it. He never wanted to make me feel uncomfortable and that’s what I like about him.

“Hey you wanna hang out Saturday if your not too busy?” I asked Angel before I was getting ready to leave.

“Yea sure we’ll see what happens.”

I hated it when he said that cause it was never a sure thing.

“But if I do get busy I’ll make time for you.”

I smiled. Ok I like that better. “Ok then.” We kissed and I drove off.

“Hey baby.” I answered the phone. It was Danny, I met him in high school my junior his senior year. I was always somewhat attracted to him but I didn’t feel like he was all that into me, so I didn’t really make a move. We lost contact for a year until he found me on Myspace we started talking ever since.

He was short, he probably had 2 inches on me at most, black spiked up hair and a goatee.

“Nothing much. Just getting home from school.” I didn’t tell neither one of them about each other cause how well would that really work out for me. Not that I was trying to be a player, I just didn’t feel there was a need to tell them. It’s not like either one told me they wanted to be exclusive.

“True. How was it?”

“Fine. Nothing really new. You?”

“The same. Looking for a job and everything.”

“True.”

“So I was wondering.”

“Yes?”

“You wanna go out Friday?”

I took a minute to answer acting like I was thinking but I really wasn’t. I knew what I was doing. “Sure I’m not really doing anything.”

“Good.”

“So what do you got planned?”

“I’m not telling you it’s a surprise.”

“Ok.”

“Ok. Well I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“See ya.”

“Hey baby.” Andres called Friday morning.

“What’s up?” I greeted.

“What you doin?”

“Nothing, bored at home.”

“You wanna come over?”

“Sure.”

“Ok. I’ll be there in a little bit.”

“Ok see you then.”

I don’t know what he had over me but any time he calls I went running. I got up out of my bed and got dressed and was ready to go in fifteen minutes.

“Hi.” I greeted Andres with a smile as he grabbed me by my waist and kissed me. We walked in to his house where we made love again.

“Hey you think you’d be able to go to Orlando with me sometime next week?” Andres asked as I was getting dressed.

“Yeah. I could do that for how long?”

“Just the weekend.”

“Ok. Yeah I would love to come.” I smiled and gave him a kiss as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I thought so. I already booked the hotel and everything.”

“So you knew I was already gonna say yes?” I smiled teasingly.

“No but I hoped. Plus if you did say no then you know I could cancel it no problem. Of course I would have lost the deposit.”

“Good thing I said yes then huh?” I continued to tease. “So what you got planned?”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a surprise.”

I smiled thinking ‘wow daja vu’. I laughed to myself. “Ok.”

I met Danny at his place and we took his car. He took me out to eat at Cody’s and then we went Bowling.

“Wow that was fun.” I replied as we left the bowling alley after playing almost nine rounds of free games.

“Good.” he smiled as he walked behind me with his arms around me.

“So what made you come up with that idea?”

“Well I knew you weren’t in to the whole drinking and partying. So I decided to do something that we both might enjoy. Looks like I was right.” he smiled as he kissed me on my cheek.

Everything was so perfect that I felt guilty lying to him.

“What’s wrong?” Danny asked me after he noticed how quite I was on the drive home.

“Nothing just thinking.”

“About?”

“Nothing important.” I tried to end it real quick.

“Ok.”

We got to his place where my car was waiting for me. He walked me to my car and we kissed goodbye.

“So you ready for our date?” I asked Angel after he stepped outside.

“Very much so.”

“So lets get down to business.” I smiled. I didn’t bother asking what we were gonna do because I figured the answer would be ‘Don’t worry about it, it’s a surprise.’

“Ok. Let’s go. I drive.” He smiled.

“As long as your careful.” I warned.

“Don’t worry as long as you wit me you’ll be safe.”

I just smiled as I thought ‘that was the corniest line ever’ but I thought it was cute and went along with it anyway.

We went to watch a movie at AMC 24 then we went to eat at Boston’s. It was a restaurant like Chili’s but it had pizza. Then he drove me to the beach. He knew I loved it there at night.

“Thank you for this.” I thanked Angel as we walked the beach.

“No problem. I love doing this.” he kissed me.

I smiled as we pulled away.

“So you sure you got everything.” my mom asked me as I walked out of my room with my suitcase in hand. Jessica was on her way to “pick me up” so that we could go together. I told my mom I was going to Orlando with her, but she was just picking me up and taking me there.

Thinking:

Underwear check

Clothes check

Tooth brush check

Lingerie check

Condoms check

“Yeah I think I got everything.” I smirked to myself.

“Good.”

Jessica honked the horn letting me know she was there.

“I love you.” my mom hugged me.

“I love you too.”

“Have fun.”

“I will.” I walked out the door with my suit case in hand. Jessica popped the trunk so I could put my suitcase in and we drove to Andres’ house.

“Thanks girl.” I thanked Jessica for the ride as I handed her some gas money.

“No prob. Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Or better yet what I would do.”

“Yea I know your freaky behind.” I joked.

“Don’t hate.” she laughed gave me a hug, got back in her car and left.

I met Jessica at work. Everyone said we looked like sisters, so after awhile we just went along with it. We started hanging out together so I knew my parents wouldn’t mind if I went to Orlando with her.

On the ride in Orlando I fell asleep. Or at least tried to cause Andres kept waking me up.

After checking in to the hotel we went to the suite and made use of the bed.

“So what we fina do here?” I asked Andres after we both were finished.

“Well I was thinking this pretty much.” he smirked

“Are you serious?” I raised an eyebrow. “You know I’m not gonna let you get away with that. Right?”

“I know.” He looked at me with a big smile on his face.

“Ok so what we fina do?”

“Get dressed.” he smiled. “And I‘ll show you.”

“Ok.” I jumped out of bed kissing him and looked for clothes in my suitcase to wear.

“Hold on. Your body is so beautiful.” he approached me from behind. I smiled then turned around we started kissing. He picked me up from my butt and we started round two.

“Ok if we keep this up we will never get out of this room.” I smiled after we were finished.

“Well what’s wrong with that?” He smirked.

I gave him a cocked look.

“Ok get dressed.” He spanked me as I grabbed some clothes.

I laughed.

Once I was finally dressed we headed out. He took me to a go-cart track where we raced each other on this humongous track. It wasn’t one of those tracks that you just go around, and around, and around in weird circles. This was a track that had you going up like on a high way and speeding down like a hill. It was so much fun and I beat him twice. Then we went to the arcade and played air hockey, shot hoops and Skee ball.

“Wow loser that was fun. How did you come up with it?” I smiled as I was in his arms.

“Well I figured you would like it because you took me to Malibu that one day.”

“Aw thank you.” we kissed.

“Your welcome.”

It was midnight when we got home. We went to the pool and had sex. We got out and went home and had sex in the shower. Out of the shower we had sex again before we went to sleep.

“Babe wake up.” Andres shoved me gently. “I got a surprise for you.”

I groaned as I turned over and stretched. “What is it?”

“Get up and I’ll show you.”

I smiled as he leaned in for a kiss. I groaned as he pulled me out of bed.

We ate some breakfast at IHOP. I got my favorite Funny face pancake and we headed to his surprise.

I smiled widely when I saw the big Mickey Mouse ears as we entered the parking lot to Disney. “You’re kidding me. Are you for real?”

“Yes I am I know I promised you I’d take you here for your graduation present and I never did. So now here you are.” he smiled proudly.

“Thank you.” I kissed him passionately as we waited in line to pay the parking toll.

We took so much pictures. I’m not that much in to taking pictures, I trust my memory to remember the things I did instead of having to look back at pictures but Andres was in to the camera, I’m thinking it had something to do with the fact that he is very photogenic. I got to take a picture with Mickey Mouse, my favorite cartoon character. He even kissed me. It was love at first sight.

I came back Sunday night. Jessica picked me up from Andres place and took me home. I told her everything we did. After that weekend I didn’t feel the need to talk to anyone else.

I felt everything between me and Andres was perfect and I didn’t want anyone else. We got more serious after that weekend and every other dude I was talking to was out of my mind.

I was on birth control and sometimes he wore a condom or pulled out. So when I found out I was pregnant I was surprised and scared shitless. I was scared because I didn’t know what to do. My mom knew I wasn’t a virgin anymore. She didn’t know who I lost it to and I told her I was being careful. This happening to me wasn’t being careful. Plus I knew he was gonna be doing big things.

He was trying to become a rapper. I was so proud of him cause from the first time he invited me to the studio I knew he had talent. I know he had talent before cause I heard his music but actually seeing him conduct himself and everything I knew he had it all. So I didn’t want to hold him back. I told him I wouldn’t hold him back. I promised. This baby would be a road block for him getting out of that wack job that he despised so much. But I was having his baby there was no questions asked. I just gotta do it on my own now. I didn’t want it cause I wasn’t ready for it, I had plans for my life, but I couldn’t kill it. So I decided I was gonna run away. I knew, from his older sister that the government would help me if I had a kid, so I didn’t have that much problem getting by.

The day he left for New York I left to Miami. I told my mom I was going with him and I wasn’t going to be back for a few months until he made it. He never really invited me. He just figured I’d be here waiting.

I decided to move to Miami so I couldn’t run in to anyone there. Not my mom, not my dad, not my friends, not Andres not anyone. The only person that knew where I was at and why I left was Jessica. I felt like she was the only one that would have understood why I did what I did.

I went to see him to wish him luck as he was getting ready to leave I handed him the letter and told him to read it when he got to New York. I knew that even if he did read it on the way. I would already be gone.

Andres,

You know I love you with all my heart. Something has happened and I feel like I will just be in the way of your success so I had to leave. I know you’re going to be something one day and I don’t want to be that one thing that kept you from making it to the top. Or keeping you from your dreams. You promised me you wouldn’t change. DON’T! For anyone. Don’t forget me. God knows I wont forget about you. I love you till the end.

Love,

Maritza.

I hugged him as tight as I could. I didn’t want to let go, because I knew that once I did, it would be the end forever and I would never see him again.

As I was driving toward Miami Andres blew up my phone leaving messages asking me what was going on. Nearly in tears. It took so much of me not to answer his call. He then had my mom call me. I turned off my phone until I got to Miami. I didn’t want my phone to die before I got there.

I transferred all my credits from my college to a community college in Miami. The government started paying for my school and gave me food stamps. I had to sign up for the WIC checks to take care of my daughter Andrea. And with Jessica’s help I found a place to stay for a little literally a month and then I moved out into my own place. I didn’t like being a bother.

I loved her from the moment I held her. She was my new pride and joy and decided that nothing in the world meant as much to me as she did. When she cried I rejoiced because just knowing she was alive and breathing I was happy even though sometimes I wish she would just shut up, so I could sleep cause I did have to work in the morning. I had to work under the table because if the government was to know I was working they would shrink my food stamps and I couldn’t afford my apartment, food, and diapers, and a babysitter for Andrea with only a two hundred dollar pay check. Even though the old lady next door baby sat for twenty bucks.

“Hey Andrea, you wanna hear stories about your daddy.” I would tell her when I was putting her to sleep. She seemed to love it, even though I knew she couldn’t understand what I was saying, plus I heard somewhere that the more you talk to your child the faster they pick it up. I told her stories about where he took me and what we did minus the sex. “You know, your daddy would have loved you so much. I just couldn’t tell him. I didn’t wanna make him feel trapped. I hope you understand some day and not get mad at me. I love you so much.”

I got a letter in the mail from Andres, I figured he gave it to Jessica knowing she knew where I was at. It read:

Maritza,

I don’t know why you’re doing this. Where are you? I went to see your mother after I came back, she’s worried about you as much as I am. I had so much shit planned for us, for you to just disappear the way you did. Your girl wouldn’t tell me anything. What’s going on? I’ve been blowing you up. Call me. I’m worried about you. How can you be so selfish and run away the way you did? Do you know how many people you are hurting by doing this.

Love,

Andres.

“Hello?” Andres answered with relief after he saw my number on his caller ID. I called after I got his letter. I felt so guilty.

“Hi.” I replied shyly.

“Where are you? How you been? Please talk to me.”

“I love you. I’m ok. But that’s all I can say. I know your hitting it big. I’ve already heard you over here.” I replied excitedly.

“If you love me why are you putting me through this.”

“Because I love you so much that’s why. Babe I can’t explain it right now. Please don’t forget about me. Promise. I will never forget about you. You were my first and only love. I don’t think I will ever love another man as much as I love you.”

“I love you too babe. You were suppose to be by my side through all this. And it hurts me that you’re not.”

“I know. It hurts me too but I can’t be there babe. I wish you would understand if I was to be by your side right now. I will only be holding you back I promised I wouldn’t do that and I keep my promises. I have to go. Please remember I do love you.”

“I love you too. But when am I gonna hear from you again.”

“I don’t know. But I think its best that you didn’t. it’ll be a lot easier on both of us. I’m sorry. I love you I gotta go.” I hung up the phone the rubbed my belly that was still not showing much.

At times I regretted not telling him because I felt it wasn’t fair to him not to know about his daughter or to see how beautiful she is. He always wanted a kid but I knew now wasn’t the time. I read the letter so often that the paper was tearing. Reading it reminded me that he did care about me.

At eight months she was able to talk, ten she was walking. When she was three she already knew her ABC‘s and could read me a book. I was exhausted after taking care of her everyday but I still found time to tell her stories about her father.

“Mami, why didn’t you tell my dad about me?” Andrea asked in her sweet innocent face as we were eating.

“Because baby, your father wasn’t ready for a commitment. Do you know what a commitment is?” I liked teaching her knew words especially big ones. I wanted my daughter to be smarter than me.

“No?” she shook her head.

I smiled. “Well it means that he wasn’t ready to be married, so I didn’t think he was ready to have you. But I know he would love you if he knew about you.”

“So then lets go see him. Tell him about me.” she replied hopeful.

“It’s not that simple baby.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I don’t have the money to just drive over there and back. Or for food.”

She frowned. Then she had an idea and ran to her room. She came back with a piggy bank. “Will this work, mami?”

I smiled sympathetically. “No baby I don’t think that’s enough but listen don’t worry your pretty little head about anything. I’ll get you to see your daddy.” I hugged her tightly. “Now until then why don’t you get your beautiful self ready for bed.”

“Ok.” Andrea ran to her room.

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth.” I called after her. “And remember to put the toys up before you get in your bed.”

“Ok mami.”

I cleaned the dishes and went to her room. “Ok check list.” I replied as I walked in.

“Ok.”

“Teeth brushed?”

“Check.”

“Toys picked up?”

“Check.”

“Stories?”
“Not check.”

“Oh that was mine.” I chuckled playfully forgetting. “Let’s get to it. You wanna read or me tell.”

“Both.”

“You have a bed time.”

“I know but please.” She gave me that puppy dog look that made me give in every time. “I love daddy stories and I love to read I can’t choose.”

I smiled. “Ok both. I love that mind of yours.” I kissed her forehead. “Promise me you won’t let a man or anyone take that away from you.”

“Promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.” we curled our fingers. I kissed her on the forehead and wrapped my arms around her.

“So where do you wanna start?” I asked her.

“Um I don’t know just start.”

“Ok your father was what they call prince charming he knew what he wanted and went for it. A very hard worker and knew how to make money when need be. When my father found out about me and him I ran away,” I looked her in the eye. “Something you better not ever do. You hear me.”

“Yes mami. I won’t ever run away.”

“Good, ok so where did I leave off?”
“You ran away.”

“Oh ok. So I ran away from home in the middle of night I had took my car, you no the one we have now. I met your father up at his house but I knew I couldn’t stay there long cause your grandfather would have found me and he would have taken me home so he paid someone to let me stay at his place for a little while. After that, I got myself a job and saved up to get my own place.”

“Was daddy you’re boyfriend?” Andrea asked.

“What’s a boyfriend?” I tested her.

“A boy that you hold hands with and kiss.” she replied proudly in her munchkin voice.

“Jenny has one. And when you drop me off at Mrs. McKinley’s house she’s over there kissing all the time.”

I laughed “Oh well yeah that‘s what me and your father did.”

“Eww.”

I laughed at the face she made.

“So where was I? Oh yeah well after I got my apartment he moved in and started paying the rent. We had fun painting the room and having paint brush fights. Painting each other all over.”

Andrea laughed. “Yeah I remember we did that. Is that cause it reminded you of daddy?”

“Yes baby.” I kissed her on her forehead.

“Mami?”

“Huh?”

“Do you still love daddy?”

I hesitated before answering. “Yes baby I love him very much. I wish he was here with us.”

“Well mami lets get him.” Andrea got excited.

“Baby don’t start. You know why we can’t do that.”

“Ok.”

“So you wanna read me a story now?”

“Yes.” She ran to her little book shelf, sat on her knees searching for the perfect book she wanted to read.

“So which book are you gonna read to me?”

“This one.” she ran back to the bed and jumped on my lap. I looked at the orange book in my lap called The giving Tree.

“Wow this is a good book. Ok start reading.” she loved to read and she was pretty good at it too. Yes she was only three but I have been reading to her while she was in my stomach. I read to her when she was out. When she was able to speak complete words I taught her the alphabet and got her little learning books like Leap Frog.

She finished reading the book as I was falling asleep. “Ok off to bed sweet heart. What do we do before we go to bed?”

“We pray.” she replied.

“That’s right. Ok you pray first then I end it ok.”

“Ok.” We bowed our heads and she began to pray. “Lord, please protect my mommy and my daddy who is in Tampa right now. I don’t know where he is at or what he’s doing. But lord let him know I love him.

“Lord, mommy tells me you’re my provider. Whatever I need you can give me only if I really need it and if it is your will. Well God I pray that its your will to get my mommy and daddy together again. Mommy really loves him and I love him too. I know I don’t know him yet but I feel like I do. With all the stories mommy tells me about him. We need him in our lives, just like we need you. Mami, your turn.”

I smiled. She always surprises me when she prays. “Lord, you have blessed me in so many ways. I can’t even imagine. You blessed me with a lovely home and a beautiful daughter and a good job to provide for both of them. You showed me and my daughter what it is to be provided for. Andrea is right, she needs a father in her life. She already has you but she needs someone here whose stronger than I am emotionally and can guide her. You’ve blessed my daughter with a loving heart. And you have provided us this far. I don’t mean to sound stingy but just one more thing. Help us get to him. So she could finally meet him and so he could finally meet her. I know I was wrong for not telling him about her but God I was afraid. Afraid that maybe he wouldn’t want to be with me anymore. And I rather be able to tell my child that it was my fault that her dads not here and not because he was a dead beat and didn’t want her. Lord, thank you again for all the ways you have provided for us. With love, money and hope. Amen.” Andrea got up and jumped into bed and I tucked her in. “Hey baby I got something to give you. I forgot I had it. I’ll be right back.”

I ran into my room and searched my closet for a little shoe box that served as a memory box. One like every girl has of their first love. I pulled out my favorite picture of Andres. I gave it another once over as I smiled remember how those lips felt as I kissed him, and I brought it to Andrea’s room. “Look,” I handed her the picture. “This is your father. Handsome isn’t he.” I smiled. “I know its not good enough but I just thought it might be something.”

“Thank you mommy. I love it.” she hugged me then hugged the picture even tighter as if she were hugging him himself. I watched her silently for a minute before I kissed her on the forehead. I turned off the light and as I was closing the door I heard her begin to talk to her father in the picture. “Hi daddy, it’s me Andrea. Mami named me after you the best way she could. Cause I am a girl so I can’t have your name…” I shut the door and began to think another girl that fell in love with you and she doesn’t even know you.

The next morning I was determined to get Andrea to see her father but I didn’t know how I was gonna do that. I had just enough money to feed us for the month and that was it another problem was where am I gonna stay at.

I ended up calling my best friend, Jessica, to talk to her about my dilemma. I was hoping she knew what to do.

“Hey girl. What’s up?” I greeted her when she answered the phone.

“Nothing much. Just got home from work how’s the sun over there?”

“Beautiful.”

“And your daughter?”

“Great. Just feeling like something is missing and making me feel like I made a huge mistake.”

“Yea? Why?”

“Cause I just can’t help but think that I should have told him. She deserves to have a father.”

“Yes she does.”
“But I don’t even know what to do. I don’t even have his number. How am I gonna get back there?”
“I don’t know girl.” a loud noise came on in the background. “Hey girl I’m sorry my daughter just made a huge mess. I gotta go.”
I chuckled. “Ok girl. Bye.” we hung up the phone.

A few days later, I’m sitting at my dining room table trying to see how I would be able to afford going to Tampa to see her father, I was stressing every minute that my daughter was in the living room playing with her Barbie dolls.

“You expecting someone, mami?” Andrea asked.

I shook my head. “No.”

I looked the peep hole and lost my balance when I saw who it was. I slowly began unlocking the door. “Hi? What are you doing here?” I asked Andres confused. “How’d you find me?”

“Can I come in?” He smiled.

“Yea yea sure come in.”

“Daddy?” Andrea whispered as she peeked through the window then she ran to her room to grab her picture.

“So how did you find me?” I asked as I poured him a drink.

“Jessica, she told me you missed me and that you had something to tell me and that it was about time to tell me. Something like that.”

“Well yeah I kinda do have something to tell you.” that’s when Andrea ran back to us.

“You’re my daddy!” she screeched as she jumped on him.

Now he had the confused look on his face. “What is she talking about?”

I took a hold of Andrea and whispered in her ear. “Baby, go to your room so I can talk to your daddy. You know he doesn’t know that you’re his daughter yet. Remember?”

“Oh yea. Ok.” she whispered back as she ran to her room with a gleeful smile on her face.

“She’s your daughter. Remember in the letter when I said something happened and I didn’t want to be in your way. She’s what happened. I loved you too much to hold you back from your dreams. I made the mistake I had to live with it. And I’m glad I did man she’s more than I could have asked for and it was like having a piece of you still here with me.”

“You really are selfish. You know that. If you would have just talked to me, told me what was going on, I would have been there for you.”

“I know this babe. that’s why I left. I didn’t want you to be. I wanted you to continue with your music with out having to worry about me and a kid.”

“It was my kid.” He raised his voice. “You had no right.”

“I know. I know.” I replied disappointedly. “That’s why I was here trying to figure out how I was gonna get over there to see you. Babe I’m sorry please forgive me.”

“I’ll forgive someday but I wont forget.” He smiled.

“I know you never do. Just like I don’t.” I gave him a look.

“Yea. You mind if I talk to her.”

“No go ahead please do.” he started walking to her room. I just watched him. He stopped and turned to face me again. He placed a big kiss on me. “I missed doing that.” he replied as he pulled away.

“Me too.” I slowly began to open my eyes. “God I love you.”

“I love you too.” He walked to Andreas room while I cooked him something to eat.

“So where are you staying now?” I asked him when he came back to the kitchen holding Andrea over his shoulder.

“I was gonna rent a hotel. I really wanted to see you before I did though.”

“How about you stay here with me?”

“You sure its ok?”

“Duh. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I smiled as he came up behind me and hugged me. “So what happened with everything and your music.”

“Well look outside.”

I gave him a confused look as I walked toward the door. As I peeked over the balcony. “Oh my God. No you didn’t. No you didn’t.” I got excited. You actually got your dream car.” I replied excitedly as I saw the beautiful Ferrari in the parking lot. “So you’re really living it big huh?”

“Yeah. Well um after finding out you moved down here I decided to buy me a house down here. For us.”

“For us?”

“Yea. We got a family now. I need to provide for you.”
“I can provide for myself. I don’t want Andrea to get spoiled.”

“She won’t be. How about you be the strict teacher mom and I’ll be the laid back teacher dad. Who spoils is first and only child.”

“That’s not right.”

“Why not?”

“Cause then I’m a look like the bad guy.”

“Ok you be the best friend and I’ll spoil the crap out of her yet still discipline her when necessary.”

“Sounds good but now that we’re on this subject. You have to be a father. Your dream has already came true so I expect you to have time for your family. If your gonna be an absent father you might as well not be back at all.”

“I promise I will not be an absent father. I will always be around.”

“Ok. Now say that to her.” I pointed to Andrea who was in the living room.

“Ok.” he walked to Andrea and motioned for her to see on the couch.

“Mami, daddy’s gonna take me to the zoo today.” Andrea ran up to me.

“Yea? Ok well have fun.”

“Ok.”

“I’ll be back by seven so we can go out to eat.”

“You see already spoiling us.” I smiled.

“I have three years to make up for.”

“Ok.” We kissed as he walked out the door. “Oh and listen don’t be speeding in that car of yours with my baby in the car.”

“You’re forgetting that she’s my baby too. I will never let nothing bad happen to her.”

“You better not.” We kissed.

I sat down on my couch it was the first time since I’ve had Andrea that I was alone. I sat popped in a movie, popped some popcorn than sat back and relaxed. Then I decided to call Jessica.

“What’s up girl?” I greeted Jessica.

“Nothing much.”

“So I hear you gave me up.”

“I’m sorry mama but I had to. He kept bothering me for you and when you called me telling me that you were gonna come back. I figured I should just save you the time and money.”

“You don’t have to explain mama I just wanted to thank you. You think it’ll be a big deal for you to move down here.”

“Of course not shoot. It’ll be a little while cause you know I need to find a job down there first.”

“How about you live with me until you get a job? That’s the least I can do for everything you have done for me.”

“I don’t know.” she thought about. “Ok I’ll do it.”

I smiled through the phone “Great. When can you come down here?”

“In two weeks I wanna give my job at least a two weeks notice.”

“Ok. See you then.”