(NOTE: Before you read this you might want to read "S.H.I.T. (Some Hip Interesting Things)". It's not a requirement but it might make more sense.)

As regular readers may know, I write articles for www.todaysrecipepro.com. I also write a column for that site. (While I do have other writing gigs they do not require a lot of images.) Anyway, I often assist my editor--cooke2cook--in laying out my work and I almost always find my own graphics.

I always find my own pics. I like it but it does take time. Too often I find something cool but I end up having no room for it. So I decided that I wouldn't let these images gather dust, I would share something with you, my readers. (If you are a straight or bi female and like mustachioed jackasses with funny hats I might have something else to share with you. . .but I digress. . .)

Here we go: Here is another top I found that I enjoyed reading.   "Kiss me then spank me.  I'm Irish and I'm naughty".  Honestly?  We love naughty girls. . .especially naughty girls we can take home to mom because they hide their naughty sides.   Do y'all remember the first time you were spanked. . .I mean by someone other than yo' momma?   Yeah, who is YOUR daddy, indeed!

Next up, a picture that is not really cool but I am including it for other reasons. I had a theory that if you put Michael Jackson somewhere in your hub that your scores would automatically go up just because some people can't let him die. This only works if you have his name in the title and a pic. Yeah, some people are that stupid.

(My other idea was to find stupid pics of him or pics related to his death.) Now that I don't give a damn I have a few pics left over. . .including one for which I never came up with a comment. I must say, however, that it is nice to see him with his hand on his OWN crotch instead that of some little boy. (Seriously, the MJ scored points for people who didn't deserve them.)

Yeah, sometimes those "spandex costumes" leave nothing to the imagination! (Wait! Oh, my editor just informed me it is paint!) Sorry.

I would come up with something about "Peter" Parker but I am too appalled. Honestly, Spidey, that is NOT the best place for your (ahem) "web-shooter". Seriously, does this pic make ANYone's "spider-sense" tingle. . .at all?  It could be worse. I avoided the joke about the "Lizard". 

 NOTE:  Sometimes I will simply show you examples of things I don't think belong on a regular hub!  (This is surely a fine example!) 

Ladies (gay or bi guys) are you unsure what to get your guy for his birthday? No clue about Christmas?

What do you get the guy who has everything? I have the answer to all those questions. Just give him this handy, dandy coupon. (You might even want to laminate it. Trust me.)

This is a pic I was going to include about the media. They often seem to pick the worst examples of sci-fi fans, comic book convention- attenders and general humanity. See my hub about this under cook2cooke's hubs.

I needed pictures of people who have no business wearing tight, form-fitting costumes. I never found out who she is supposed to be. I don't know if the F stands for "Fat", "a Few Rolls", "Funny", "Fed To Well" of "F***ed Up".  Not everyone has learned that wearing spandex is is like driving a motor vehicle.  It is a privilege and not a right.

I think I found this one while writing a review on on of the spiritual or religious websites out there.  I have seen the actual picture before and liked the idea of Jesus laughing but the added text just made it too perfect to not download.  I don't think "dumbass" is actually in The Bible but it's still worth a grin; don't you think?

Personally, I want this on a t-shirt.  It might be fun to wear it to a strange church some Sunday morning.  On a related note, don't you just hate churches where they make you shake hands and be all friendly with the strangers next to you?  I might need more God in my life but I don't need more strangers.

I never used to like these retro signs until I saw this one and one other one which was lost in the midst of a data transfer or some such technical nonsense. So here is the one I didn't lose. I'm not sure I have a whole lot to say about this one.

It tends to speak for itself. I guess it is just a simple reminder for guys who are the "hands on" type. Judging by the hub scores of people who fill there hubs with naked or topless women I would say someone has surely seen this particular graphic before and has the situation well in hand. (Enough masturbation humor? Not quite.  We're talking the internet here, remember?

Computer geeks? Guys? Come on, you're not getting off that easily. . .or maybe you are. . .)

See? I told you I had more! I just saw this picture during my searches for graphics and had to download it. I honestly don't even remember what hub had me searching for things like this but it came up on Google Images.

While I personally do not find this particular woman that attractive I DO like her little shorts or panties. I hope it makes you smile. You can see why I chose not to put this on a regular hub, right? 

I got this one from an online site. The author of the particular column was a little lazy in coming up with some humorous accompanying text. All I know is the singer on this album/CD cover got her name from Pebbles from The Flintstones cartoon series.

Tell you what though, honey, I might not be Fred Flintstone but I can make YOUR "Bedrock". Yeah, we'll "have a gay all time" all right! BAM! BAM!

I was discussing George Carlin on a recent hub. I was referring to the concept that we, as a society, choose to give words power. We organize these little symbols and give them meaning and give them a degree of power. Sometimes we give the words too much power.

Case in point, the word c*nt.  C-*-N-T. 

I give it power, too. I can't type it out in a public forum. I worry about offending the mothers of the boys in my scout troop. I worry about offending female regulars. (Bitch, please!)

I worry about using the word so much my lady friend decides I am not going to get any more of HER c*nt. (Okay, it's mostly the last one but you get my point.)

We are all guilty of this. Women are especially guilty of this when it come to the infamous "C-word".

I was searching for a relevant graphic to go with this segment of the discussion and found some really wild examples. The baby pic above was the one I felt was the worst.

Aren't you all happy I had the taste not to include some of the above pictures in my hubs? I thought you might be.

Stay tuned for further examples of things I will never, ever include in my regular hubs. I want to make sure you know just how much of a classy guy I really am.

My name is Phoenix and . . . that's the bottom line.