Six ways to become a better conversationalist

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By Andrea Baljak


1. Know your audience. Find out their interests, their backgrounds, and plan your conversation accordingly. Your aim should be to entertain and stimulate your listeners, not just yourself. The unsuccessful conversationalist is often one who talks for his own ears, instead of for the ears of others.

2. Have something to contribute. We will mention the importance of listening later, but the sought after conversationalist must have something entertaining or stimulating to say, and say it. If you were inviting people over for an evening, would you prefer people who could only listen? What could be duller? The people who are in demand are those who can also contribute their share of good conversation.

3. Don't discuss a subject with which you are unfamiliar. If the discussion is about Mexico, and you know nothing about Mexico, limit your conversation to questions.

4. Be enthusiastic. Genuine enthusiasm is contagious, adds interest to whatever you say. A monotone makes your conversation seem unimportant and has a soporific effect on listeners.

5. Put some humor in your conversation. If you are not good at remembering jokes, keep notes of the ones that you run across. Then brush up on your humor just before you want to use it. This technique is used by some of the most successful salesmen!

6. Give and take. Listen as much and as enthusiastically as you speak. Don't regard listening as an irksome lull in a verbal battle, during which you only assemble more of your thoughts, ready to fire as soon as the enemy is off guard. To be an accomplished listener you must concentrate, you must care about what is being said.

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