Well here I am. I am almost at the 48 hour mark for quitting smoking. I promised that I would give you all updates, but I have to be honest, I'm really not in the mood!

I have to laugh actually because at this point it's either "laugh or cry" about this, and I'm chosing to laugh.

Today has been very tough. I woke up this morning feeling better, not having the cravings in the morning that I had yesterday morning on day 1. But as the day has progressed I found myself rubbing on my nicotine patch hoping to get some relief from the cravings.

I would say overall that the patch has not worked as well today, but the fact of the matter is I probably should be looking at it like, "This would probably be so much worse without it."

On day 2 the hype is gone, everyone asks you how you are doing and everything, even the questions seem very annoying.

Like I said I would, I have been telling myself all day today, "I WILL NEVER PUT MYSELF THROUGH ANOTHER DAY LIKE YESTERDAY AGAIN." That has helped and at no point today did I have thoughts of caving in, it's just been very very tough and all-consuming.

Yesterday I think if I would have had cigarettes around I might have smoked them, today I would not have. But overall, today actually feels harder than yesterday.

Maybe that's because I am not remembering yesterday that well because all I can think about it how bad today is right now!

I've had to refocus today. I've had to think in smaller blocks of time. Instead of thinking, "what do I have to do to make it through today?" I have had to think, "what will get me through the next 30-45 minutes without wanting a cigarette so bad?"

I've had to do things today that I normally wouldn't even consume my time with just to get through that 30-45 minutes of time.

My attention span is short, my mood is sharp, and although I am definitely not questioning why I am quitting, I am questioning why I ever put myself in such a bad position in life. Why did I do this to my body? Why did I have to go and mess with cigarettes in the first place?

And although I woke up and felt like I had a better morning with this, as soon as I ate lunch today, the battle was on. The past 7 hours have been a real struggle. It made me feel like I shouldn't have eaten...but of course I have to.

Now, I am looking forward to going to sleep early again tonight to get around this. I'm going to drink lots of water and get lots of rest.

Tomorrow I have planned to go on a long walk while listening to my iPod. I was going to do it first thing in the morning but I think I'll do it right after lunch now because that was my roughest time of the day today.

I will stay busy all weekend and I will be in the company of my supporters here as much as possible in an effort to minimize the thoughts of caving in. I've made it this far, there's no way I want to screw this up now.

I want to thank you all for your supporting comments here on hubpages. I do apologize that my overall demeanor is a little off, but I'm feeling a little low, I'm feeling drained, and that is definitely affecting my writing.

So what do I do to fight this? I'm going to sit here for the next hour or so and remind myself of what I have accomplished! I am 46 1/2 hours into quitting smoking! My body is on the mend, and I am right in the thick of quitting! I am straight up accomplishing the top, #1 most important goal in my life right now!

So I know the time will pass and this will be behind me very soon. I'm going to end this hub right here for tonight, but I will be back tomorrow with another update. It's now 7:49pm EST on Thursday, May 21st, 2009, and I, SCOTTAYE73, am a non-smoker! Have a great night. ~ Scott