Silently I look at you with eyes like pools of water

Breathing deeply. Sighing, gasping lonely hearted.

Heart broken at the thought of losing you.

A second without you is a lifetime of loneliness.

Black is the day I walk alone, my love in another place

With a man with a different face than mine,

A crime. Is this a wicked dream of twisted fate

And treason filing me with hate?

I cannot rest, there is no place for me to rest

To shelter from the storm of this doom,

I boom and below out your name into the windy air.

Still I die alone.

You cannot hear my call and if you could

I fear that you would stay away,

Until the end of time, in line

I blame no other than myself.

For I am like a ruin now decaying double time

From the cold shoulder given me by you.

I see you now but only in my memory.

Always will you be and always you will stay

Until my hair recedes discoloured white and shades of grey.

Cold sweats wash over me now

Cleanse my spirit soothe my troubled soul.

Then I hear a noise and stir

I wake inside I am not alone.

I see you still, settled, smiling in your sleep.

A solitary tear begins and falls

Onto my chin and then my pillow.

Thankful now to be reborn to see your face,

I wait in earnest now for a new morning

Watching you silently once more.

I sit and wait to hear your calming voice,

Begging you to call my name. I know I am the same inside

Yet on the surface, I must alter things about myself

To make the good things great again for us.

I have to change my ways for I have seen

Into my future nightmare not yet born.

I must now escape my fate and in reality achieve

A better place for the both of us to be.

I will improve and yes, I will be great again

And make you proud of me again.

Thus the value of yourself will rise

Ten thousand highs with fewer lows.

For now, I know which way to go

I see the path I need to choose

To fight each battle crossing me.

Yet some I know I will not win,

Despite all that, I know that I will

Take the war. For that is you

And something I could never lose.

Copyright © 2005 Matthew P. Nicholson