Real estate hardships have become familiar to many people in the last couple years. A combination of factors across our economy has collided to make this an especially rough financial time for many families.

For example, the "bubble" in the country's housing market finally burst and left many homeowners owing more on their home than they can sell it for. Many of these same homeowners took out adjustable rate and/or interest only mortgages that had low payments for the first 3 or 5 years. They were often told they'd be able to refinance into a fixed rate mortgage before their current loan reset and its initial "teaser" rate expired. Unfortunately, this has not been possible for many.

If you know these four secrets of writing a real estate hardship letter, though, you will be able to take control of your situation and survive foreclosure on your terms.

The first secret of writing your real estate hardship letter is understanding what lenders consider a "qualified" hardship. The big secret is that there are only two qualified hardships!

1. A sudden, unavoidable loss of income
2. A sudden, unavoidable increase in expenses

The attitude you choose to take when dealing with your lender is critical to your success. They will appreciate a can-do, positive attitude more than you can possibly imagine. They typically deal with negative, angry people all day long. Remember that loss mitigators are not mean people trying to steal your home and security from you. They are simply people doing their job. Just being friendly, polite, and considerate will usually get you treated the same way in return.

Your hardship letter is not the place for you to describe all the bad experiences you've had with your lender's collection agents. It's not the place to describe every little detail of why you lost your job or how bad your boss treated you either.

Your goal is to present yourself as a rational, reliable person that got behind on their mortgage and is now ready to make it right.

Stay focused. Don't try to win sympathy...because you won't. Just tell your story plainly and move on to the rest of the letter.

The most important ingredient to your success in saving your home is your Action Mindset. If you clearly envision your future, you can overcome all of the bumps in front of you. The toughest times in your life are also the most rewarding ones once you've made it through them. If you have an Action Mindset, you will overcome these difficulties and become a wiser, stronger person. You can take control of your situation if you simply take action on what you learn and take it one step at a time.