Self-Awareness: A Way of Life.

Self-awareness: To me this term is fraught with meaning. It brings to mind an enlightened Buddhist, sitting in a temple surrounded by incense smoke (no offense if that is your thing). However, self-awareness or self-consciousness can mean knowing yourself; it is the understanding of your core identity, separate from those around you. Self-awareness can allow us to tap into our potential, realize our true passions and callings, and help us understand our desires.

There are a number of ways to get to know your true self. This seems like an odd concept, but in our culture, many people truly are isolated from themselves. We inundate ourselves with media and chaotic schedules, and surround ourselves with people all day, so that we lose contact with our inner self. The point of becoming more self-aware is not to separate oneself from society; on the contrary, self-awareness is important because it helps us become ourselves in relation to others. Indeed, no man (or woman) is an island. Finally, self-awareness, in my opinion, is not a destination. It is more like a practice of keeping in touch with one's true self.

The following are some ways I've cultivated my self-awareness.

1. Personality Tests: Granted, personality tests are relative. In other words, personality tests tell you a great deal about yourself, and it is usually in reference to other people in society. For example, you will be rated on a certain scale, which is usually based on the normative population scores (if that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry about it). A personality test can offer you, usually, very detailed information about your personality. Usually it is best when these tests are administered by a professional, but there are some online versions of these tests that are moderately good at approximating the true versions of the tests. Some tests that are very popular are the MMPI, the Myers-Briggs, and many others. Tests are roughly divided into the categories of projective and objective measures. Projective measures allow the test-taker to project their perceptions (and thus, their personality) onto the test. An example is the Rorschach Inkblot test, where there are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Objective tests have set criteria for answering and evaluating answers. Therefore, objective tests are, appropriately, more objective in evaluating personality. Remember that personality can change over time. For example, you may have a certain Myers-Briggs score one month, and a slight variation the next month.
2. Ask People: This can be somewhat awkward, but one way to learn about your personality is to ask people about yourself. The people who know you best are sometimes the best judges of who you truly are. Ask a good friend to tell you three things about you that they like, and three that you could work on. Make sure you ask someone who will be both honest and kind in their answers.

3. Reading: Take time to scour the many books about personality, or personal growth. Some books I'd recommend are The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, A Way of Being by Carl Rogers, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Coleman, Please Understand Me by Keirsey and Bates, and Love the Life You Live by Parrott and Warren (I've taken several classes from Parrott at Seattle Pacific University.) However, I'd like to issue a word of warning. First, many of these theorists offer contrary opinions on personality. Therefore, much of what many of them say has to be at least somewhat incorrect or misguided. Take what they say for what it is worth, and evaluate it based on what you know to be true. Second, be careful with some of this stuff. Don't take it too seriously, and don't dissect your personality too much.

4. Think: This is probably the most important aspect of self-awareness. Ask yourself why you do things a certain way, or why you do some things at all. However, don't dwell on each aspect of your behavior too much. That would be stepping into behavior that fits the other definition of self-consciousness. Namely, being preoccupied with one's behavior. Take time to reflect and see the world as it is.

5. Write: A great way to distill and reflect on things you've learned is to write about them. Take time to express your thoughts on paper. Then you can go back to them months or years later and see how much you've changed over time.

6. Finally, after a time of reflection, go and engage the world! Seek authentic friendships, meaningful activities, and enriching experiences. Aim to behave in a way that validates who you really are as a person. Don't get stuck on an ivory tower of contemplation (known as naval-gazing), but instead go and apply what you've learned.