There are many symptoms of being a nerd. If you have any of these I am afraid the outlook is not good. But first a quick note on the dreadful disease that affects so many in our schools and libraries.

The "Nerd" disease is a virus which sadly affects nearly 3.14% of the worlds population. It is most common in adolescent caucasian males. The virus called spazitikus trekkius virginius is the most common strain of the virus but there are many more varied types. the virus attacks the pituitary gland in the brain which causes emaciation, severe social retardation which ofcourse results in a declined probability of sexual reproduction. This fact has caused scientists to believe this is not only a genetic disease but is also contagious too.

Where to find nerds? The most common place to find a diseased person is at video game stores or in the most serious cases star trek conventions. Yes nerds, dorks, geeks and dweebs flock to events such as comicon and other such occasions which behaviourists believe is because of their morbid attraction for anything sci-fi and their most basic instinct to feel safe in large numbers.

Symptoms A geek will often be surrounded with technological gadgets and gizmos. Looking at a screen for 20 hours a day isn't good for the eyes therefore one will often be wearing glasses. The inability to leave their computer screen for any period of time without suffering seizures will prevent them from getting laser treatment or contacts. This inability to leave the computer for a sufficient period of time also prevents them from getting a decent meal or going to the gym. This results in a emaciated frame with little muscle, who is often surrounded by empty bags of cheesey puffs. Failure to use clearasil will often mean that the infected person will have acne or some kind of skin problem.

Diagnosis If you or any member of your family are displaying any of these symptoms I strongly suggest you seek medical attention immediately.

Cure Don't fret! There is a de-nerding plan to help even the dorkiest of persons. Tami-flu may be good for swineflu but the plan is the real aid for nerdflu.

STEP 1. Take down the pictures of Luke and Darth Vader, change your screensaver from Masterchief and open the limited edition action figures of Obi Wan Kenobi. Throw your light saber out the window (watch out for unsuspecting passers by under the window, it may lead to costly law suits which wont help in the plan.) This stage may be graduated slowly, it may be a shock to the system if you complete this step in 1 go. Gradually remove one goofy thing from your life at a time.

STEP 2. Put your IT skills to good use! Look up your local N.A. - Nerds Anonymous. The group will help you through this difficulty time but if any member begins a conversation about who he or she'd think would win in a battle between master chief and darth vader.

STEP 3. Go to the gym and work out for a while, chicks dig muscles and it will help distract you from the hole in your life that was once filled with geek-festered activities.

STEP 4. It's time to let go. Halo 1, 2 and 3, Star Wars - six episodes it's over! Let it go! Runescape and Star Trek chuck 'em. Maybe you could get a girlfriend instead of a long-term-love-affair with the comic book collection.

STEP 5. Take steroids, it's time to bulk up and steroids add that extra testosterone you've been lacking lately.

The plan is now complete. Feel free to be a normal person again. Good Luck.!

P.S I don't condone the use of steroids and I don't want to offend anyone, I write a blog about geeks and yahoo answers, I'm just as bad as you! LOVE YOU ALL!