I'm here to dispel the myth that a woman's body is a mysterious, un-understandable creation. The myth that orgasm is difficult, that it requires a great investment of time and effort.

Let's begin at the beginning. Our biology. All of our parts are created of the same material, whether they eventually turn out to be male or female. For men, most of these materials are visible, so they're very concrete. You can easily see them, touch them.

In women, these are the same organs, just formed with slight variation and placement. The clitoris is nothing but a very small penis. In fact, in some women, it actually is closer to a small penis in size.

In men, what would be a female's ovary becomes a testicle and descends into the pouch called the scrotum. The same sensations you enjoy in that area, your female partner will enjoy with her labia, the counterpart to your scrotal sac.

Men have very small breasts and nipples which respond in a similar fashion sexually to the breasts and nipples of the female.

The clitoris has erectile tissue and a hood. Men (and women) may never have viewed the hood of a penis if they have never seen an uncircumcised man, but they serve the same function in both sexes.

Intense attention to the area can be pleasurable or can be irritating. The clitoris may need a little extra sensation because it is hooded, but that hood also provides another method to excite the area without directly touching the clitoris itself and causing an irritation response. Tug at the hood or the adjacent labia to stimulate the clitoris indirectly.

When you take a moment and imagine the similarities, you begin to get a better idea of the workings and sensations of these body parts. What is pleasurable regarding your penis will feel good to a woman's labia and clitoris. We have the same tissues, the same nerve endings, and we respond to the same stimuli- heat, pressure, friction.

How often would you want to repeat sex with a partner who totally ignored your penis? If you're having sexual contact and you neglect or ignore the clitoris, you are essentially doing just that to your partner.

The movements of full intercourse do produce pleasure, but stimulating the outer areas of her sexual organs is often vital for a woman to achieve orgasm. Any adjustments you can make to engage the labia and the clitoris during thrusting, even if you have to use a free hand or a device such as a vibrator in order to do so effectively, will increase her pleasure.

The pressure of body weight and friction when you are fully inserted can do the trick, but you have to forget habits you may have learned from bad porn and poor advice. The in and out motions have some effect, but there are moves which can do far more for her.

One trick to try is to enter her completely, then make side to side or circular motions with your hips. You don't have to do only these movements or sustain them through the entire course of events, but throw a few in here and there and I guarantee you'll get noticed for it. They bring about contact with her external sexual organs and stimulate lesser known bundles of nerves inside her vagina.

Forget all that you may have heard about the vagina being a blind alley lacking in sensation. There are many more secondary pleasure points inside a woman than the good old G spot. I say secondary, but they aren't when stimulated properly. It is also possible for women to reach orgasm from the stimulation of many different places on their bodies. And for a special few, without any direct stimulation at all!

For men or women, whether with fingers, tongue, toys (yes, vibrators work for men, too) or other, if you vary the intensity and speed of your movements, you can keep your partner's skin from getting too used to the sensation.

A neat way to do so is to use the same count each time. Make thrusts, circles, or give attention in the fashion of your choice in measured sets. Switch back and forth between, say, seven shallow thrusts and seven deeper thrusts. He/she will think they know what you're doing, and they will, but they will come to anticipate that next set of five, seven, nine.

Ladies, surely it cannot have escaped your attention that men love oral sex. It doesn't have to be the best, you don't have to do it for hours, but give your guy a break and at least offer on a regular basis.

If something is holding you back, address it. If you choke easily, use other techniques and skip that particular method. If he lacks in hygiene, incorporate a wash into your play. If he gets a bit lost and forgets you, offer to take turns or get things going, then move on to something you enjoy. You may find the excitement he experiences triggers some surprising reactions for you as well!

And note: as I stated before, we have the same equipment. Almost any suggestion I give for the guys applies to the gals and vice versa.

Women may not always be as verbal as necessary in communicating their needs. If she doesn't say what she wants, how can you tell what to do next? It is pretty straightforward. If she is moving away, stop whatever you are doing and change tactics. If she's moving toward you, consider that an encouragement. Do more.

If she was making her pleasure known through noises, gestures or movement and these slow or suddenly stop? Again change tactics. Stop what you are doing. If it isn't getting the rave reviews it was, she may be either losing sensation from overstimulation or the area may be getting too tender.

Sometimes it is tempting to find a move and stick with it. If it isn't broke, don't fix it, right? Wrong. It is better to make constant small changes. You'll keep your partner guessing and keep the momentum building. You don't have to be a sexual master. Choose a few (two or three) solid moves and trade off. Do a slower or softer version and a harder, faster version of each and you'll have a whole repertoire to work from.

Please, I cannot state this strongly enough, recognize the need for proper lubrication when touching skin to skin or toys to skin and especially for intercourse. If you need to supplement your own fluids to achieve this, do so without embarrassment or hesitation. It needn't require a long conversation. Just park a bottle by the bed and reach for it if/when you need it. Slippery play is far more pleasant for all involved.

Always respect your partner. If he or she doesn't do a particular sexual exercise, there is plenty more to keep you occupied. That said, don't be afraid to experiment. How else will you know what you might like? What you might be missing?

Every few sessions, try to mix in a part of the body you usually don't involve. This can mean a few loving strokes or a laser-like focus on a new area.

If things are getting stale, try bringing in a toy, a change of scenery, a new oil, or sharing naughty stories. You can also revisit your favorite methods of intercourse with new vigor.

A little bite, a little discomfort, minor bondage or limiting movement can introduce a whole new feel to sex. You needn't tie your partner down. Instruct him or her that for a certain length of time they are not allowed to use their hands or that they must lie perfectly still. The restraint is still there without any claustrophobia or lawsuits ; )

We are sensual beings. Don't forget the allure of a really nice setting. You don't have to go all out every time, but a nice mood is encouraged through the use of appropriate music, soft lighting, a clean area, candles, incense or a lovely perfume.

If your partner needs help to relax, a massage is a fantastic relief. Getting problems out beforehand is a great help. A drink is nice for some, but beware the dangers of too much alcohol to performance and to good judgment.

A hot bath or shower gets you clean, warmed up and ready to go. Hygiene is important, especially if you're asking your partner to have close contact with seedier areas. Forget all that women's magazine nonsense about shaving, waxing and plucking. Men have sex with hairy women all the time. If your guy is overly controlling about your body, there are bigger issues which need to be addressed than your body hair.

Have your sexual history or safe sex talk before the big event and be sure to place your choice of birth control or safe sex barrier in an easy to reach location. Then go wild.