It's insanely true, what they say about sex and marriage...it's all true.

I met this woman at a cafe I frequent. I like the atmosphere and the drafty feeling I get when I sit with a cup of coffee and my laptop, pounding at the keys. I was sitting there last week and there was a guy playing his guitar, hoping to someday get noticed. He was playing "Tequila Sunrise". I actually liked it. Then this woman, out of nowhere, leaned towards me and said, "He can be part of my Tequila Sunrise." It didn't make much sense by way of the song, but I knew what she meant.

I looked down at her hand, as I do when I get nosy about a person, and low and behold, she had a wedding ring on her finger. So, she's married. She noticed that I noticed the ring and said, "7 years." I hadn't asked, but she offered this information to a complete stranger. She continued to talk as though we had entered into a conversation. I asked her if she was happily married. I figured she was offering it up, I might as well ask the things I really wanted to know. Being married myself, I sometimes wonder what other couples are experiencing, what dilemma's plague their very existence. Although I know that none other compares to what I have with my husband.

She continued to tell me that things have gotten rough lately. And then, as if we had been BFF's for years, she broke into the sex chat. You know, the kind of chats you have with your girls over drinks and Sex and the City marathons. We can get down with the Carrie's and Samantha's of the world, too.

She told me that she hadn't had "relations" with her husband in over a month. I found this confusing, how can you be married and not make love? Did he cheat? Nope. Did you cheat? Nope. Umm, what's going on then? I found myself digging for an answer to why the most natural part of a marriage is not being heavily explored on a mind blowing basis. I've got more than a few years of marriage under my belt and my appetite has yet to be surpressed. So why after only 7 years is this a non-priority?

Truth is, this wasn't the first time a married woman had told me this. My other married friends go through "dry spells". This is what they call a period of time when they are uninterested in sex. No urges, no desires, just boredom and fatigue when it comes to the subject. Each story is different; working late, taking care of the kids, no energy, no sex drive. Whatever it is, it ends the same. No sex.

Before getting married, each of them says it was Zane Chronicles type of hot. But now, nothing. No sparks, no interest, no charm, just boom, bam, done. If that.

Why is this the case? What happens to sex after marriage? I don't seem to have this problem. I don't forsee that I ever will. But for the time being, I am interested in knowing what causes this so-called "dry spell" in marriages.

Maybe for some, the words "sex" and "marriage" don't mix well.