Parents - there are many clues right there infront of you! I was a teen several years back and I want parents to know what to look for in their teens behavior.

I was horrible:

• I had sex as a teen (different partners)
• I snuck out all the time to see whom ever the flavor of the month was
• I lied to my parents
• I was unsafe in all of my actions
• NOW I live to tell my story to help other parents see the light at the end of the tunnel!

There are so many reasons attached to why a teen acts out. I remember back when I was in 6th grade if not younger, I was interested in boys. Boy was I ever interested. I remember writing letters (something for parents to always look for) back and forth with girls and boys. The letters started out simple and sweet with the ever so simple words of "Will you be my boyfriend?" Good grief before you knew it there was hand holding, simple pecks on the cheek, a kiss on the lips, and then bang before you knew it FRENCH KISSING! I can remember the first boy I french kissed, I was in the 6th grade. Now that I think back, that was waaaayyyy toooo young of an age to start that.

When I was in the 6th grade my parents started having problems. I had a brother and sister and we were all in many different school activities. My mother couldn't do it all on her own and my father wasn't much help at that time. I think he may have even had a girlfriend behind my mother's back (that's another story)... So, my parents were fighting alot, we were moving back to our home town and us kiddos were not happy about that. We loved where we lived and we didn't want to move. My parents didn't want to discuss it, it was a done deal. So, we moved back to our home town. My parents still didn't get along, my mother worked as a nurse, my father traveled some with work and was gone quite a bit. So, where do you think I looked when it came to warmth, feeling loved and wanted? You got it, boys, guys, men!!!!!! That's right I said MEN. I was now in Junior High and a popular girl. I was very athletic, friendly, and out spoken. I liked the boys. I remember my mom letting us invite boys over to watch movies. I was in the 8th grade by this time. They were only allowed to stay until 10:00. We were a small town where everybody new everybody. So, I would have a slumber party of my best girls over and then we would invited the boys to come and watch a movie or play games. As soon as my mother left the room (it was make out time). 8th GRADE, and it wasn't just a little making out, hands in the shirt, touching where we shouldn't have been touch, you get the point. It's obvious that all of us were horny kids and had there been no parent there then sex would have more than likely taken place.

HINT: If your child/teen is sitting with a boy/girl in your house or elsewhere and watching TV/Movie, make sure they have nothing over their lap (blanket, jacket, pillow) because I guarantee there is something going on underneath it. Trust me on this. It could be as simple as hand holding but usually NOT.

NOTE: ALWAYS keep an open relationship with your kids. DO NOT let life get too busy to where you leave them behind or forget that they need you. Kids/Teens need their parents and they need to know they can talk to them about anything. Parents should ask their kids continuously about school and their activities. Remember to talk to their teachers regularly to find out if they are doing well and if they have noticed any changes. Remember that teachers hear all the gossip, so go to the source.

Another Note: Hug you child, go in their room and talk to them before bed time and tell them you love them. Let them know you are proud of them. Don't always tell them what they are doing wrong, you also have to praise them. Do as many family things TOGETHER as you can, it makes a world of difference.

I now that teens demand privacy but the simple fact is that their privacy is your (parents) business. Don't think that for a minute your child is JUST studying. They are thinking about boys/girls and wondering about things we only wish they wouldn't wonder about.

Leaping to the following year: HIGH SCHOOL

Freshman year and it's time for sports, friends, fun, and all other activities. 

VERY IMPORTANT TIPS:

Know who your child is hanging out with.  Get to know the friends and their parents.  If your teen asks to stay the night (no matter how trusting you are) talk to the parent's of the whom ever your teen is staying the night with. 

Scenario:

Mom, I am going to stay the night with Tina.  We are going to just hang out and watch movies.  Mom knows I have been friends with Tina for years so she completely trusts that this is our plan.  Well, my mom didn't know that Tina's parents were not at home and I was truly not staying the night with her.  I was staying the night with my older boyfriend.  His parents didn't care who came over or who stayed the night and his parents would cover for them as well. Another trick: If my mother called my friends house looking for me, I would have them tell my mom I was outside, in the restroom, etc., and that I would call her right back.  My friend in turn would call me and tell me to call my mom.  I would quickly call my mom and tell her I was ok and would be home in the morning.  During this time I was staying the night with my boyfriend (you got it, teen sex).  Now, many don't use protection, they don't want to use it.  So, just remember no matter how hard you preach protection, the majority of the time protection doesn't exist.

Tip: When you pick your child/teen up from a friends house, stop in and say hi to the parents and ask how the night went.  On many occassions your teen may have not stayed the night with their friend but was still dropped off their by the boyfriend/girlfriend that morning to keep the cover SOLID....  Call your teen throughout the evening and ask to talk with the parents even if it's more than once.  You are not being overbearing, believe me you are protecting your child.

Tip:  If you notice your child/teen is hanging around a different crowd, there is a chance they are dating someone different or someone from that crowd.  Find out all you can.  Talk to long time friends and even teachers.  You will only find out facts if you ask.  Make sure you ask about your child/teens attendance record at school.  There are many ways to keep track of that now so make sure you do. 

Tip:  If your child/teen is staying up late and you notice they are really tired everyday after school, then there is a chance they are sneaking out.  Check your phone records and see who your teen is talking to. Know the numbers of their friends.  Also just because a name is listed in a cell phone doesn't mean that name fits the REAL person that THAT particular number is attached to.  For example: I would have a friend (girl) name programmed in my phone, but the phone number under that name was really to a guy.  I had an easy cover.  I could tell my mom that I was talking to Tina.  Write down cell phone numbers, call them and investigate.  Never underestimate the brilliance of a child/teen.

MAJOR TIP: If you notice frequent napping, weird bed times, or anxiousness from your child, then look into it.  When your child leaves look around their room, check phone records, look in places you would never think to look.  If you find a picture or letters to/from someone you don't know then ask your child about it and do it in an open manner.  Talk to your child about it, don't scream or yell.  Tell them you want to discuss who this person is.  It could be the boyfriend your teen is hiding from you.  Then remember that YOU as the parent make the final decision on who your child can/cannot see. 

TIP: If your teen sleeps on the couch alot watching late night shows, they could be waiting for you (THE PARENT) to go to sleep and then they may just be sneaking out to see their boyfriend.  So, no matter how your raise your kids, make sure they are on a schedule no matter what their age is. I know that not all teens are the same, I was a horrible seed.  But, I had lots of friends doing this same stuff that I was doing.

PARENTS, WHEN YOU GO TO BED AT NIGHT, SET YOUR ALARM FOR 1:00 AM AND GO INTO YOUR TEENS ROOM TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE THERE.  If they are not there then call the cops immediately.  This will scare the crap out of them.  Don't wait for them to come home and just lecture them, call the cops and nip it as quick as you can.

PHONES IN BEDROOMS: Parents, if you allow your teens to have phones period check them fequently.  Make sure if it's a cell phone that you take it away from them and put it in your room with you after their bedtime.  This way they have no contact with their friends after bedtime hours.  This will assist in inconveniencing sneaking  out.

Now, this is a big one.  ALWAYS, take  your purse and keys to bed with you.  Put themi in your room.  My sister and I (both sneaker outers) would take our parents vehicles to see our boyfriends.  If you as a parent even think for a minute that your teen sneaks out then check your mileage nightly before you go to bed.  You will know for sure if your vehicle is being used.  Put an alarm system in the house.  This isn't always effective as we got around it ours as teens.

If you know your teen has a boyfriend/girlfriend, get to know their family.  Make it understood that you DO NOT for any reason allow sleeping over on either part.  This is a big deal.  Many parents just don't care and will let boyfriend/girlfriends stay the night.  VERY SCARY!!! 

If your teen is sneaking out and having sex then their is a huge risk of early pregnancy and STDs.  If you know your teen is or has had sex, have them tested immediately or on a regular basis.  This will prevent or at least assist in lowering future health risks. 

Know your kids, know who they are, where they go, and what they are doing.  The first time you set them free they will take advantage of it. 

Grant it, not all kids are the same, but believe me you don't know them as well as you think you do.  NOBODY DOES.

I am closing for now but I will post more later.  I have tons more that you can catch up on in my next blog which is a continuation of this one.  Please forgive any mispellings, grammar issues.  :)

Many may not agree with this blog but it comes from experience. 

REMEMBER:

KEEP WINDOWS LOCKED AND NAIL THEM SHUT IF NEED BE.  SNEAKING OUT IS EASY!!!!

CHECK YOUR WINDOW SCREENS FOR BENDING OR SEE IF THEY ARE ON THE GROUD.  ASK NEIGHBORS IF THEY HAVE EVER SEEN ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS. LET YOUR TEEN KNOW IT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. PUT BELLS OR SOMETHING ON THE DOORS THAT WILL SURPISE YOUR TEEN IF THEY GO TO OPEN IT LATE AT NIGHT.  THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO KNOW IF YOUR TEEN IS SNEAKING OUT. 

DON'T UNDER ESTIMATE THEM!!!!!!!!