I was thinking about it the other day. I am really happy with my marriage. Then, I started thinking about why my marriage has proven to be successful. There are many reasons. I will discuss one of the most important reasons.

Sex is not the most important aspect of my marriage, but it helps us maintain a very good level of intimacy. When my husband and I have sex, we always make sure it is important. Even when we just have a "quickie". I don't believe any married couple should force themselves to have sex, if they are not in the mood. I do, however, think that married couples should be in the mood to have sex with their spouses. If you find that you are never in the mood to give it up to your partner, you might want to rethink how you feel about your partner. If your esteem is damaged due to any number of reasons, you might want to think about things that are attractive about yourself. Always remember that your spouse/partner loves you and wants to be close to you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a nymphomaniac. I do not feel like having sex around the clock. I am a stay at home mom, who feels like a frump most of the time. I enjoy being flattered. If I am not feeling particularly sexy, it always helps me to get in the mood when my husband flatters me. If you are stressed out because your wife no longer wants to "get busy", try telling her how sexy she is. She may blush and tell you to "shut up", but she is impressed and feels a little sexy. It may take a little more, forgive the pun, prodding to get to the actual sex, but you've made a good start.

Your partner may have a lot on his/her mind during the day, but sex should not be a stressful situation. It should be anti-stress. If you find yourself getting frustrated with your partner, remember to be loving and caring. Remember that sex is an expression of love.  You want to be closer to your lover. Don't let sex drive a wedge in your relationship.  On the flip side, your spouse should want to have sex with you.  If he/she never wants it, you may have a problem that requires therapy, or some serious conversation with your partner.

Personally, I think that when my husband and I have sex, it puts us on a level that is above the daily tedium. I find it helps to talk about the sex. Laugh about it. Eat icecream and snuggle. I like to watch Jeopardy! afterwards, but to each his/her own.  Sex, to us, is like a fun break from our daily routine.  That is why we never have sex on a schedule.  Everything that we find tedious is on the schedule.  We don't want our sex life to be anywhere near the schedule.

Most importantly, make sure that your partner knows that you love him/her. I think this is the reason my husband and I really enjoy our sex life, and subsequently our life, together.