Sleep Sex: Sexual Sleeping Disorder
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We’ve all heard of sleep-walking, which takes place during the 3rd and 4th stages of sleep. But have you heard of sleep-sex? It’s a little less benign than sleep-walking, for obvious reasons, and takes place during the 5th stage of sleep. It may sound bizarre – and I suppose it is – but scientists seem fairly confident that the disorder does exist, and, while many people who experience it also sleep-walk, the two disorders are entirely separate.
So what is it?
It varies, but it's pretty much exactly what it sounds like – someone enters stage 5 sleep and they start getting jiggy with someone.
You mean the someone sleeping next to them? The husband or wife?
Mmm.. maybe. It’s just as possible the person will sleepwalk to another location and have sex with strangers. They can also start getting jiggy with themselves, sometimes in a really violent manner which results in bruising the next day.
Just like that?? No warning?
Well, to be fair to the strangers, the people sleep-sexing would appear to be awake, just like people sleep-walking often do.
If they seem like they’re awake, how do they find out what they’ve done?
In many cases, the sleep-sex is actually violent, which would be a clue to the partner for obvious reasons. To the sleeper, however, It would go completely unnoticed unless they woke up during the act, or if their partner told them about it.
Why would someone rape someone while they were sleeping?
Because this isn’t sleep-walking, and there is usually some kind of emotional trauma attached to it. In other words, the person experiencing it needs psychotherapy. And in a very big way. Unfortunately, the victims often would rather forget it happened – which is easy to pretend, when the attacker doesn’t even remember having done it.
You’re making this up, aren’t you?
Nope. I suppose the Stanford doctors may have been joshing when they published their study awhile back (Journal of Psychosomatic Medicine), but I kind of doubt it. That said, some have tried to use this plea in court, and have not been successful. Others have. It’s difficult to prove, at best.
How do you treat it?
It’s manageable, and you’ll need to start seeing a sleep therapist – they’ll treat the sleep disorder with something like valium, and also address whatever underlying emotional issues are causing the disorder to present in the first place. In time, if the personal trauma is dealt with, the sleep-sex issues should resolve.
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Me, neither! Thanks!
I used to be a sleep walker... and it was not fun. Fell of the stairs a couple of times and was found naked walking around the house other few times.... Thankfully I think it is over now.
But after reading you, I am wondering if instead of being over it has only progress to something different? I certainly have very sexually vivid, active and satisfactory dreams... Does it count as Sexsommnia? or am I just lucky ;-) ?
GREAT Hub Isabella!! I'm pretty informed and I have never heard of sexsomnia!! GREAT information!! Thank you!! blessings, Earth Angel!!
Jimmy - Yes it is strange!! :)
Kenny - You're welcome! :)
Princessa - Well.. it's unlikely.. but if you are waking up feeling as though you've had sex during a dream.. you may want to pay closer attention cos that's pretty much what someone with sexsomnia would think..
Earth Angel - It's a weird one, isn't it?? ;)
Hm. That's interesting. As previously, mentioned by others, I, too, have not heard of this.
It's a bit strange, eh?
This is fairly common I suppose even in marriage life.As both the partners sleep after a hard days work,wanting sex but too tired for it,esp man who cannot get excited well then after some sllep when you are in alpha wave ,you may get up half way and get your partner excited,when he or she might be so relaxed and rejuvenated after some sleep that both may allow furthur normal repsonse to sensuality and do rather well and uninhibited ,responding to physical needs than obstructed by soo many mental blocks each gets and looses every moment.Esp for a partner for a long time,or married couple.Totally unaware sex is a myth as even ''rape'' type incidents must have had a secret ''allow'' button by female after testing good excited male slleping ''incidently'' besides her??This ''allow is easier after a sleep and rest and in relaxed mid hours I suppose.Not getting your partner to ''disturb'' his her sleep might be a reason that many fail to enjoy this bliss time.I have.
Stumbled on this looking for my own answers as I used to have signs of sexsomnia. It is rather embarressing, more so due to my young age. I noticed however that it went away almost completely after i started having better sleeping patterns and had less stress. Sadly I fear that it may be coming back and it is not the easiest thing to talk to a doctor about.
I'm 26 male, just recently I have been experiencing sex sleeping, my exwife and my current girlfriend, both long time relationships. they brought up the fact that I have tried to have sex in the middle of the night and ask me about it, I just can't remember. I have thou woke up half way in the sex act thinking WTH I'm I doing. I don't think there is a problem u might just have a high sex drive or you just like to be with that person alot. I have had several sex parthers and the only the two I have spend the more time together is whom it has happened. I want to add that they have never complain about it they actually thought it was kind of hot.
i've heard about this. Too bad my girlfriend isnt a sex sleeper..j/k LOL
After reading a short blurb in MensHealth that made mention of "sleep nookie" as they referred to it as, i figured i'd check out a few more sources. Needless to say,this is the real deal. Unbeknownst to me, I recently found out that I'm guilty of sleep sex... at least that's what she said. I found it interesting that the above info is rather consistent with how she described the happening(s.) Although there was consensus (apparently) she indicated it was rather rough, and she couldn't tell that i was sleeping. I've definitely had, and continue to have, "sleep snacking" tendencies, and have been known to sleep walk. IDK, just thought i'd give my two cents since unfortunately I'm a witness that this disorder does exist.
I had this problem for about 12 years that I know of(told by others). It was funny at first then became embarrasing, caused alot of problems!! I used to work alot of hours and I think that played a strong role possibly. I had a girlfriend that used to take advantage of the situation and things got alot worse, it was a once in awhile thing before that. I injured my back and I wake up immediately when I start to move now. I never have been told that I sleep walked. Just a warning, do not let anyone sleep next to you that isn't aware,esp kids.
I saw this on an episode of House! Very interesting but disconcerting for the people effected with the disorder and their loved ones.
jimmythejock says:
2 years ago
Wow Isabella, that is very strange, i have never heard of this before again Wow! great hub.....jimmy