As survivors of sexual abuse the problems with intimacy with a spouse or partner is extremely important . Many survivors suffer a variety of problems with their sex lives and its no wonder sexual abuse is not only a betrayal of our human trust and affection buts its also attack on the survivors sexuality . The survivor usually has a hard time showing their true feelings towards their partner and physically avoid or are afraid of sex even feeling they have an obligation towards their partner to have sex. Often feeling negative emotions like anger ,disgust or feeling guilty about touching the other person even feeling like they are not really there when they make love with their partner . Sex can be painful because you are so tense, failure to get an erection or a failure for a woman to organism . A feeling of been confused about the opposite sex the feeling of then being gay is one thing, or disturbing images or thoughts come into their mind .

The sexually abused has trouble with communicating and holding relationships with their partners, this can be very frustrating because you can move from one partner to another. Friend's and Family never understanding whats really going on in their lives until its explained to them if ever explained at all. Survivors often believe its quite normal to have little feelings its just me that's at fault with intimacy with my partner and can be very frustrating for both partners unless you get help for the relationship otherwise it can often end or both partners end up in separate beds sometimes the partner not knowing what is going on and feel pushed away by the survivor partner. This could lead one to have an affair because they feel unloved and alone even rejected by the survivor, especially when there's no communication your relationship with you spouse or partner is bound to crumble.

But there is help out for survivors its called sexual healing an empowering process which you claim back your sexuality as both positive and pleasurable. It could take months or years but the most important thing is you can repair the damage done to you, there are many books, Cd's and DVDs that can help and sexual counselling is available the most important thing is to get help before its to late and its OK to be confused about the whole issue I know myself I couldn't hold on to a relationship with another woman for years that was until I got some help in that area nothing beats being in love with your spouse or girlfriend and being able to show that person how much you loved them by having a good intimate relationship with them . Its amazing if you think about the many failed marriages or doomed relationships that if only the abused survivor got help about their intimacy problems many could of been saved and maybe families wouldn't have been torn apart as they are now, because so many sexual abuse survivors have a problem with intimacy and it is literally destroying lives as we speak so someone has to raise a hand and ask for help.