I accepted a job with a middle class family who owned a nice home in Upstate New York. Mr. Fitzgerald worked in a state agency doing something that He would never tell me exactly what it was . Mrs. Fitzgerald was an international Master of Bridge and was restricted to the use of a rather large and expensive electric red wheelchair. The Fitzgerald's did not have any human Children. The Fitzgerald's were the proud owner of 12 dogs; Mostly , Toy Poodles and a few Tea Cup Exotics. My duties included the Chauffeur, The Groundskeeper, The Butler, and The Dog-Sitter. In return, I had a three room basement apartment completely furnished with 24 hour access to the heated pool and Hot Tub. On my first day of work I came upstairs . The dogs began barking and screaming ! I knocked on the door and told Mrs. Fitzgerald: "Good Morning." I walked into the living room and was immediately taken back by the smell of Dog shit! Mrs. Fitzgerald was sitting propped up in her hospital bed playing on a Dell lap top. "Come in Kevin." she said, as the poodles surrounded me jumping and yelling in a chorus of disapproval, "Shh, Shh, His name is Kevin and He is here to help Mommy. " said Mrs.Fitzgerald as She crawled out of the Hospital bed wearing a long shirt which hardly covered her Adult Diapers. She adjusted herself in the red wheelchair and gave me a tour of her home. She manoeuvred the red machine with the dexterity of a Nascar driver.eager to drive. She glided over the carpet in her red machine carefully avoiding the small piles of dog shit which had gathered around the furniture in huge mountains. I spent the next two hours removing dog shit from the Carpet, the Kitchen ,and the Bathroom. The Fitzgerald's allowed the puppies the luxury of using the entire house as a toilet! I scrubbed the entire house with lemon Mr Clean. Mrs. Fitzgerald rented a carpet cleaner and I attempted to remove the yellow tints of dog urine from the Feraghan carpet. I decided to take a much needed break. Right in the midst of enjoying a meal of Kosher Pastrami mixed in a Reuben sandwich with pickles, I heard Mrs. Fitzgerald screaming! I rushed into the living room where Mrs.Fitzgerald was Shaking in her red monster yelling: "Not Again, Not Again, Oh GOD". She kept repeating the phrase as if she was possessed by a Omen! I thought she was having a Mental Episode; Until, I noticed the tangled dog corpse whose brains were running all over the wheels of the Red Monster. Mr. Fitzgerald rushed home and finally got Mr.Fitzgerald to calm down. I had to pick up the dead Puppy as his eyes squealed in silent horror. I was told to bury the remains of the dog in the far section of the yard which was reserved for dead dogs. I was glad to retire to my basement apartment where I re-evaluated the idea of keeping this job!. I fell into a deep sleep only to be disturbed by a knock at the door! I asked: "Who is it" ? It was Mr. Fitzgerald standing in his long John pajamas looking quite perturbed! "Did you leave the door to the pool open"? He asked. I replied: "No, I did not use the pool tonight, too sleepy. " Mr.Fitzgerald began to cry and rant: "I did it again, I did it again, Oh my God." He quickly regained his composure and requested that I take the corpse to the backyard. I was starting not to like Mr. Fitzgerald. I fished the puppy out the pool and buried it in the dry barren area of the backyard. I was convinced now that I would soon be leaving this job. I decided to try it for one more day partly due to the fact that the big screen t.v had all Satellite channels and the Internet was fast like the Road Runner! I was picking up fresh Dog Crap from the carpet when Mrs. Fitzgerald informed me that she was going to need me to take her to the Supermarket. I grabbed my jacket as all the dogs rushed outside . I pressed the remote control button on the key chain which activated the door to the Fitzgerald's custom made Handicapped van. The doors slid open as the floor ramp poured out onto the lawn. Mrs. Fitzgerald was playing with the dogs in the garden when I spotted two German Shepherd dog coming down the street unattended. All the dogs rushed to go barking at the bigger dogs who were coming onto the Fitzgerald's lawn. Mrs. Fitzgerald's most prized Tea cup terrier rushed right in front of the German shepherd dogs who proceeded to RIP the head off the Tea Cup's body..... Mrs Fitzgerald yelled at me "Pick her up!" I picked up the precious Tea Cup as i witness the life leaving the body ...

Part II is available upon request.