You know sometimes there are movies you love for the weirdest reasons.  You love them even though you know they are horrible disasters with a laundry list of reasons they are trash.  You know you are probably one of...possibly five people on earth who share your enthusiasm for this particular movie.  I think the reason is that maybe, since no one else liked it; it becomes somewhat of your own.

I remember watching “Shock’Em Dead when I was younger…maybe around 12 or 13 years old and thinking this movie was awesome.  I have been looking for this movie for the past 5 years and could never find it other than on VHS.  Last week, I googled it again, hoping I could find someone who had the DVD and to my surprise, it was finally released.

I immediately purchased the DVD from what I can tell is some guy who created a shitty website and burns copies for people in his basement.  It didn’t matter to me though…just give me my Shock’Em Dead!

This movie is a pretty simple Horror-Cheese B-Movie with a pretty cool premise; well I think it’s cool because I am a musician and it is all about being the greatest rockstar in the world.

The movie is about this kid named “Martin” who sells his soul to the devil in order to become the greatest rock star in the world and everything that comes with it.  When he makes this deal, he is transformed from average…shitty guitar playing Martin to Guitar GOD “Angel Martin.”  He automatically has a nice house, three hot girls (debatable) and untouchable skills on the guitar.

As Angel learns about his new found talents, he also discovers he cannot eat regular food; he needs to eat souls.  In order to eat souls, he needs to murder and absorb the soul of the victim.  Of the three girls who are part of the “deal” with the devil, two of them were horribly disfigured and made a deal with the devil to be beautiful.  When you see each girl’s reflections in silver, you see what they really look like.  The other girl has the same deal as Angel, meaning she too has to kill and absorb souls.

The cool parts of this movie really are so minor it is ridiculous.  The guitar playing in the movie and soundtrack are by a real musician named “Michael Angelo Batio” who I believe is the most talented guitarist ever.  I don’t think he was the best…just most talented.  Michael Angelo Batio does things with the guitar that make Eddie Van Halen jealous; he is the definition of a “shredder.”

Other than the guitar work in the movie…this movie defiantly is a shit sandwich.  The acting is probably the worst acting of any movie.  Think of a bad plot-themed porno and remember how horrible the acting is in that…now crank that up to eleven and still, its worse for “Shock’Em Dead.”  Speaking of porn, did I mention this is a Tracy Lords film?  Guess what…Tracy Lords doesn’t get naked in the film either.  I guess she was trying to showcase her acting ability…FAIL!  As I watched the movie, I kept envisioning the director or whoever was on set telling the actors they did a good job and it made me laugh out loud.  I would guess the actors were paid two nickels for their performance and that was too much.

Another weird thing is that although Tracy doesn’t get naked, there sure is a lot of nudity in the film.  The problem with that is…I don’t think the nudity is that good.  The women are a little thick and the titties are a little saggy.  Oh well. 

Oh, and one really funny character in the film was the lead singer of the band Angel joined.  The lead singer, named “Johnny” was sooooo gay.  This guy was ridiculous.  Imagine if you took Freddie Mercury, Liberace and Perez Hilton and combined them into one “super-gay”…you would get Johnny.  Johnny is a fuck-face, condescending ass, who thinks the world revolves around him and doesn’t like being upstaged by Angel.  Also, the band is supposed to be a rock / heavy metal band but they sound more like…Loverboy.  Lame!

Anyway, I am not going to bother suggesting you all check this movie out, because the only way to do that is to purchase your copy from www.shockemdeadmovie.com and if you did that…you would probably hate it and be pissed at me for wasting twenty bucks.  That being said, I still love this piece of shit movie.  The acting is horrendous, the special effects are bargain basement, the clichés and stereotypes of the music business and musicians are ridiculous, the kill scenes are dumb, there is no gore whatsoever and the movie is a complete cheese-fast, corn-ball debacle.   I love it because is MY cheese-fast, corn-ball debacle.

Below you will find the trailer and a scene which I really liked from the movie.