Short Funny Sayings

1. "Real-eyes, Realise, Real-lies"

2. Is it not, as it should, then it as it comes.

3. If you want breakfast in bed, you sleep in the kitchen.

4. Who laughs last, thinks traagst.

5. Who else must first started to make itself the road.

6. Harsh criticism as a knoest, you see 't pass back to a time when you cut thick wood planks.

7. Throw a bucket of dirty water in a bucket of clean water and you have two buckets dirty water.

8. Looking and you will find you will find it not, it is lost.

9. What is the difference between ignorance and indifference? I do not know me and it can also do not care.

10. You will not have a tree to hang a acorn too.

11. I am of the post-war period, we let it.

12. A binoculars increased 8 times. When I used it the 9th time, ie did it.

13. You have to understand the views of a majority is not confused with the truth.

14. If you think that today all too quickly, you have to agree in the row standing at the post office.

15. Friendship is like a plant, if you are not to look at it decays.

16. A bargain is something you have no need for a price you can not resist.

17.As the clock is ticking at home, the ticking somewhere else.

18. A opppas is a teen who behaves as a volwassense while, the adults behave like teenagers.

19. The impossible happens immediately, miracles take some time.

20. Better a hole in your lump, a lump in your hole.

21. Do not disturb, I am already disturbed enough ...

22. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied,"Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

23. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

24. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

25. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

26. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

27. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

28. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

29. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

30. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months -I don't like to interrupt her.

31. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

32. My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

33. A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

34. A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and scare me half to death."

35. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry and cleaning done free.

36. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

37. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

38. Getting married is like buying a car. Once you get it off the lot, you're sure you could have gotten a better deal!

39. "Ask me how I tolerate stupid Questions"

40. "Guns go Bang"

41. "You look lost... I think you need Jesus!"

42. A little kid asked Jesus how much he loved him and Jesus stretched out his arms and DIED.

43. Yea I'm a loser.. but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet!

44. A tree only hits an automoblie in self defence.

45. Too many Idiots, not enough villages.

46. "Even a mosquito gets a slap on the back when it starts working!"

47. Well, sometimes I feel "Like a penny waitin' for change."

48. "Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

49. "The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on".

50. "Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."

51. "Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

52. "I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar."

53. "Girls are like phones. They love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"

54.Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

55. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

56. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

57. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

58. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

59. Black Holes are where God divided by zero.

60. If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes.

61. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

62. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.

63. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?