That’s a tough one to answer.

        So much depends on the circumstances of the people involved.

        She is “well-fixed” economically, in her upper sixties, and said that she’d follow the traditions of her country and give everything to her divorced daughter when she dies. She said that she wasn’t scrimping so that the daughter would get more; she’s spending what she has as usual.

        She’s bothered, however, by the fact that her sister in Taiwan, who never married, could really use a bequest, but she knows that if she helped her now, it would have to be in secret, as it would make her daughter very angry.

        She has the same problem in regard to her desire to leave something some of her resources to her church.

        Her children have been very generous since her retirement in America. She has sufficient money right now, but there won’t be much left to divide when she dies. She intends to have it split equally. There is no reason for her to cut back on her current expenses, as all of her children are doing well financially.

        In essence, she has already started to divest herself of possessions, as she gave to her son an apartment she had in Shanghai. She had been using it during visits, but she wanted her son to have it as he works in Beijing and needs a place to stay when he has business in Shanghai. He has redecorated it, completed needed repairs, and made it available for any member of the family who visits.

        She couldn’t resist telling me that if she suddenly had a million dollars she knew that she’d be spending more. I asked what she’d buy, and the first thing that came to her mind was replacement of her computer. Then she thought about it a bit more and said that she’d travel much more.

        When I told her that her friend from Taiwan wanted to give money to the church, she said that she had already arranged for a friend to make a contribution in her name to a Catholic Church in Shanghai.

         Still a married man, and living with his wife on his social security check in America, he still manages to save a little each month. The savings, however, aren't for his three daughters - two of which live with their husbands in America with one happily situated in Beijing - they've been set aside for medical costs in case his wife's health gets worse.

         Whle living in China, he and his wife had provided the funds to see all three girls through universities so, in effect, they've already received their inheritance.

         A few years ago, he was also trying to save enough to purchase a place in Beijing where the two girls could live with their husbands if they lost their jobs here and wanted to return to China, but when the girls heard of that plan, they urged him to use the money for himself and their mother, as they're very happy in America and can't imagine returning to where they lived formerly. The daughter who had stayed in China agreed.

         So he's continuing to be very careful in the use of the income that's available to him, but he's no longer thinking that any of it has to be shared.

        They feel strongly that the greatest benefit you can give your children is to let them make their own way in life without financial help from parents.

        That includes getting loans to pay tuition in college while holding down part time jobs to pay for living expenses.

        The thought is that you become stronger by helping yourself.

        The question in the title is one that I’ve asked myself many times, but it has never changed what I’ve chosen to do.

        Money was scarce when I was growing up, and all the children in the family got jobs as soon as they were old enough. In my first job - as a soda jerk – I got 25 cents an hour, and was happy to run to work as soon as school let out every weekday so that I would be ready to serve the hordes of students who would be arriving.

        There wasn’t a time after we moved from that town that I didn’t have a job. Even in college, which was paid by the GI Bill, I worked in the dormitory dish-room after each meal.

        After graduate school, I lived in Europe for a summer and then joined a corporation where I moved up the ranks until I was the CEO. All the years I worked there I contributed to a retirement plan that became the nucleus of the investment portfolio that I have today. It has grown substantially.

        Since retirement, I’ve moved four times, have travelled extensively, and now live in the northwest, a few miles from my daughter, her husband and two grandsons.

        My life is much simpler than in former years. Even though I am hearing impaired, I’m able to do ESL tutoring (one-on-one) each weekday morning, and my afternoons are spent in reading and occasional visits with the family.

        That may appear to be austere; I suppose it really does have that that quality, but for the most part, I’ve adjusted to it.

        Sometimes I think of those days when I enjoyed the symphony, plays, the ballet – even auditing the classes at the university – but hearing loss has changed all that; I hear things others don’t – a din that you wouldn’t believe in restaurants, distorted sounds when listening to music, a lot of guessing in classrooms. Travel would be very difficult, as I’d have to ask for repetition when asking questions, and using the telephone is nearing the stage of being impossible.

        So what I’m leading up to is the fact that I’m not denying myself pleasures for the sake of helping others when I die. In essence, those former pleasures have been denied to me.

        That’s true, but I’m not all unhappy about it, as I participated in most of those things so extensively for so long.

        I’m pleased by the fact that there will be funds available for both my son as well as my daughter, had husband, and the two grandchildren.

        Investments made through careful estate planning will provide annual sums for my son for the rest of his life, and it has made it possible for both my daughter and her husband to choose occupations they liked without thought to remuneration, as funds will be available for their two boys all the way through college.

        That will be their legacy.