"I'm thirsty, will you buy me a drink?"

Most men who spend time in bars or clubs have faced this question before. How should you respond? If you say no, you may feel like a jerk. If you say yes, she may like you, she may think you have money, and so on.

Perhaps counter-intuitively, the short answer to the question "should you buy women drinks" is no. It's not that simple, but you should never a) agree to buy a woman a drink without conditions or b) offer to buy a woman a drink.

Why? When you buy a woman a drink she sees you as supplicating. You may just be a generous, nice individual but that doesn't matter -- her perception does. She'll never get the chance to see that attractive side of you because she will dismiss you as someone who has to buy people's affection.

Even worse is offering to buy the woman a drink. She will either refuse the drink or accept it and ignore you or, best case scenario, accept the drink, chat with you for a few minutes to be polite, and then leave. Of course, if you're really charismatic, you can turn the situation around, but why would you buy her a drink in the first place if you were charismatic?

That's the problem. Think about the psychology behind it. Why do you buy women a drink? Is it altruism? I doubt it. If you get a sense of fulfillment from buying strangers drinks, then send them anonymously -- it'll be less damaging to your chances with a woman anyway. If your motivation isn't altruism, however, then you're likely doing it because a) you need a way to open a conversation with the girl or b) you think she'll decide you're a nice person because you bought her a drink.

In either case, what do you think the woman will think? She'll perceive that you are uninteresting and weak enough that you have to buy people gifts to get them to talk to you. Would you find that an attractive trait in a woman? I doubt it.

So what should you do if a woman asks you to buy her a drink?

Well, you can always just say "no," but why shut-down the conversation when you can turn it into a fun interaction.

Instead, turn it into an exchange.

For example...

Her: Will you buy me a drink?

You: How about this... I'll buy you a drink I think you'd like and you can buy me you think I'd like.

You can either get her an actual drink or get her water -- oh, the comedy!

Another strategy you can try is to offer to buy her a drink in exchange for a french kiss. I don't really like this strategy -- it still places you in the position of buying something from the girl. You might get the kiss (depending on how many other drinks she's had) but that's probably all you'll get.