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Check Husband's Email for Cheating

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By lindagoffigan

Should You Check Your Partner's Email for Signs of Cheating?

Should You Check Your Partners Email for Signs of Cheating?
Should You Check Your Partners Email for Signs of Cheating?

Is it OK to Check Your Partners Email for Cheating

Should you check your partner's emails for signs of cheating. Would you open snail mail from the post office with someone else's name of it. Even if you are married, you should not open mail that does not have your name on it. It is considered trespassing and infringing upon someone's right to privacy when you open mail that is not addressed to you.

Then why do you think that it is OK to open mail because it is generated from an electronic gadget or device. Communication is communication whether information is being transported around the country in a mailman mail sack or being electronically generated from a computer. You should not have the pass word to log onto the computer if it was not given to you to use. Google and Yahoo have sign in users names and passwords that are privy to the owner of the email account. You would not open someone's bill to check payments and  balances if your name is not on the outside of the envelope. You should not use someone else's password or user name to get into their email account.

Checking your partner's computer for any reason is not ethical and it is not right. You should refrain from even thinking of "hacking" into your partner's email account even if you both were in the sheets together last night. Intimacy in the bedroom does not necessarily mean that your partner's personal business with his name on it is a reason to read his email.

Cheating on the Computer?

Cheating on the computer?
Cheating on the computer?

Should You Check Your Partner's Email for Cheating?

If you are suspicious of your partner cheating then why check his email for evidence? Why do women think they need to check a collar for lipstick or a cell phone bill for an unfamiliar number?n If the relationship is at the point of untrustworthiness, then you are not dealing with much of an ironclad relationship. The minute that you think that something is amiss, you guessed it, something is amiss. A woman's intuition do not need a Sherlock Holmes inspector investigator on the scene to know when your partner is cheating.

Bookshelves are filled at Barnes and Nobles and the Border Bookstore of what to look for when you think that your partner is cheating. One book listed over one thousand check points to look for as if at a crime scene. You do not need one thousands ways to find out if you partner is cheating. With the advent of the computer, make that one thousand and one ways to see if your partner is cheating.  If you think he is cheating, he probably is cheating.

Even if you have his user name and password and manage to see that the email has someone other than your name in the send to box, he will deny any knowledge of it. Even if you both see another name in the send to box, he will swear that it is a computer glitch and somehow the spamming and hacking of computers threw that name in the send to box. If someone else's name is in the send to email address complete with  romantic content in the body of the email, he will still tell you that you are not seeing what you are seeing. A word from the wise is to not go to the one thousandth and one reason to find out if he is cheating.  If you think he is cheating, he probably is cheating.

Your partner must have given you other clues or you would be wanting to check his computer to see what size carat diamond he was buying for you online secretly. You are thinking of searching for evidence pertaining to cheating so more often than not, he is in fact emailing someone else. Do not accuse him of emailing someone else because you are the person who he is supposed to hide the cheating from. You are the one that makes whatever he is doing so much fun because he knows his hands do not belong in the cookie jar.  He should be satisfied with your package of Famous Amos cookies but you are suspicious so he probably is not.

Talk with your partner and spouse to see if you can work things out. You may tell him that you thought of checking his email and of course he will surely deny any wrongdoings. Should you check to see if your partner is cheating. No you can not check his email but you may check his heart. If his heart is not in the right place which is entwined with yours in love everlasting,  then it is best for you to move on complete with your private detective devices.

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mythbuster profile image

mythbuster  says:
7 months ago

Good advice

lindagoffigan profile image

lindagoffigan  says:
7 months ago

Thank you, mythbuster, and thank you for your comment.

mythbuster profile image

mythbuster  says:
5 months ago

I suppose that if talking it out doesn't work - then 'investigation' is the logical next step...it's too bad things have to be this way for some people

lindagoffigan profile image

lindagoffigan  says:
5 months ago

Thank you mythbuster for your comment. Talking it out does not always gets you to the truth.

earnestshub profile image

earnestshub  says:
5 months ago

I think if you have reached the point of looking in to his email account, you have missed a lot a long the way.

Princessa profile image

Princessa  says:
5 months ago

No, a person should have the right to privacy. I would hate anyone looking into my phone messages/emails, so why would I do the same? I think a woman can find many other ways to find if her partner is cheating or not, just requires a bit of common sense and imagination.

lindagoffigan profile image

lindagoffigan  says:
5 months ago

Earnestshub, thank you for your comment.  I agree with you that if you are thinking about checking your husband or wife's email for signs of cheating, that means a problem has already surfaced.  I compare the scenario with the Jimmy Carter (Former United States President) facade of lusting for a woman with your thoughts.  The first time you look at a woman with lust is a signal that you have thoughts to  desire her.  This  type of problem is welcomed if there are no strings attached and is a lot different from thinking of checking emails for signs of cheating.  Each one of these moves, however, began with a thought that someone was cheating or lust for another woman.

lindagoffigan profile image

lindagoffigan  says:
5 months ago

Princessa, I agree with you that no one should check another private means of communication. However, I do not think that it takes a lot of imagination to prove that a husband or a wife is cheating. If you think that your man is cheating, then more often than not, he is cheating. I would not ask him because he would surely deny everything. I need to write another hub called "The Nature of a Man" and try not to be biased but truthful.

dell gx620  says:
4 months ago

what if your wifey is cheating you??

lindagoffigan profile image

lindagoffigan  says:
4 months ago

dell gx620, thank you for your comment.

Uhmm, your wifey cheating on you can be a maybe. But more likely the reason may be in response to something that was somewhat of a shortcoming on a man's part. Don't mean to be pointing a finger but women are not as sexually driven as men are to wander to greener pastures.

R  says:
4 months ago

my fiance fell out of love with me and he asked two of my closest friends' advice and he told them that he's afraid to tell me the truth because i might hurt myself. but eventually, i knew it already and when i confronted him about it, he told me that he still loves me.. i don't understand anymore.. i even told him that if he don't love me anymore i am willing to let him go and i won't do anything bad to myself.. if he's not happy with me anymore, i will let him go.. but still, he keep saying that he loves me and i don't believe him anymore because it's just hard to believe that yesterday he felt out of love to me and now he is in love with me again? but still, he's treating me the same as how he treated me before--- he still cares for me and he's making sure that i am comfortable and i have everything that i need.

i am with him for 2 weeks now and we're living together and he told me that a month after i arrive here we are going to have our civil wedding but yesterday, he told me that we'll have our wedding in 9/9/09 and my visa will expire on the 30th of that month..

i tried to make him confess of what is really going on but it seems that he don't have any plan to tell averthing to me.. i am willing to let him go if he's no longer happy with me, even if it will hurt me so much.. i want him to be happy because i love him so much...

this is actually his 2nd chance because he sent me back home last year but he wanted me back and i forgave him.. i know there's something wrong with him, but what else that i can do, i love him and i should accept everything about him..

lindagoffigan profile image

lindagoffigan  says:
4 months ago

R says:  This is the first time that I am not going to answer this question or provide advice because of your situation with your boyfriend except to advise you to seek professional counseling.

  There seems to be a lot on insecurity on the part of both of you and I am going to suggest that you get counseling without him.  No one likes to  babysat in a relationship or to think that a person is staying with them only as a caregiver instead of a friend and a lover.  What is fun about being in a "needy" relationship.

Seek professional counseling so that you can make the decision to leave or stay with a person who you are not sure really loves you or to gain love and support for yourself to move in a positive direction.

R says: Your situation is too fragile for me to comment further.

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