One of the most unpleasant things that can occur during a relationship is an infidelity. It is a total violation of the trust and devotion you invest daily in your partner. As a matter of fact, I have read polls that show that cheating is actually very common in relationships. It is depressing that this is true.

Let's take a further look on a couple of aspects of cheating. First we will take a glimpse into some possible signs that he/she may be a cheater. Then, we will assess why cheating may have occurred and if there is a way to move passed it. Yes, I said move passed it. All partners can cheat, but not all of them are compulsive cheaters.

Keep reading below...

1. The Cell Phone is most likely the number one line of communication between your partner and the other man/woman. You can simply do this test and the results will give you a hint about whether you may be getting cheated on. Ask your partner to borrow their cell phone. Check their reaction. If it is a passive one, then chances they aren't hiding anything. But, if they hesitate to let you borrow the phone, turn on your light bulb. They may just be hiding something more than you want to find out about in their messages. If so, do not confront them right away. Always know that you must have all your facts before you throw them on the table. You do not want to accuse someone of what may not be happening.
2. You must go on a stake-out! Break your normal routine on a weekday. That is, If you work a regular 9 to 5. Call in sick one day without letting your partner know. Start off your day as if you were going to work, but, don't go to work. Instead, wait a while for your partner to expect that you are at work. Then, prepare yourself emotionally for what might be a disappointing discovery. Seek your partner. Show up at his routine spots. If he is supposed to be at work, but he is not, that is a sign that he is cheating. You may even take a drastic approach and follow him, but, if you are not ready for a potential heartbreak, try to keep away from this.
3. Some things you may check to see if cheating is possible is his/her pockets or wallet. There may be a receipt for a dinner that you weren't invited to lingering around in the pair of jeans he/she left in the laundry hamper. Or, even worse, a receipt from a hotel may be in his wallet. Keep these items that you find in a hidden stash for later when you are going to confront him/her. If you don't find a thing, he/she may not be cheating, or may be very good at keeping secrets.
4. How is your sex life? Has it disappeared into thin air? Has it gone into an inventive overdrive? If there are any drastic changes to your sex life, chances are there may be a problem. He/she may either be getting it from someone else and not wanting you anymore, or he/she may be practicing with you to work his/her "magic" on the other person.
5. There are some other signs that you may want to look out for such as behavior. Is your partner someone that works in construction, but has recently been wearing cologne and nice clothing to work? Signs such as this can also be red alerts that cheating is occurring.

If you ask anyone that has not been cheated on if they would stay with the cheating partner, their answer will most likely be "No" or "Hell No!". But, in reality, if you have never been cheated on, you wouldn't know what to do in that situation. That is why it is difficult for people that are going through problems with infidelity to seek advice from others, especially family and friends. They will all be urging you to leave the cheater. The only person that can make that decision is you.

Now, we must assess whether you should leave this cheater or not. Ask yourself a these few questions about your partner and write them down on a piece of paper:

1. What was the reason for your partner's decision to cheat on you?
2. Do you still love your partner?
3. When you confronted your partner about "the incident", did he try to hide it or did he lie and lie and lie?
4. Was there a total resolution between you, your partner, and the third person? By this I mean, did they break it off or are you unsure?
5. Do you think that you can find it in yourself to forgive your partner?
6. Is your partner regretful of his actions?
7. Do you think that if you stay with your partner that you can absolutely leave this incident in the past and not bring it up ever again?

Now that you are finished, are you satisfied with your answers? Set up a pros and cons list that refers to whether its is better to stay in this relationship or to leave it in the past. Weigh out your options and then base your decision on all of the above.

Make sure that you are not one of those people that just gives up and moves on. Give your decision good thought. If your partner seems to be remorseful and is someone that is willing to work together to gain back the trust that was lost due to his/her actions, then it is worth giving a try. But, by all means, do not kill yourself trying only to find that you are being taken advantage and that your spouse keeps cheating and lying. You cannot tolerate breaches of trust over and over again. That is not healthy in any type of relationship.

One thing you must understand is that cheating better be a one time deal. If there was a problem within your relationship that drew on an infidelity, you have got to take the necessary steps to revamp your communication and squash it. Once that is done, you will find that everything will start to come together.

Now there is a total downside to this; If you do not see that things can be fixed, or your partner cheated on you with "no reason". Then, you may be in the wrong type of relationship and must definitely abandon ship! No one deserves to be cheated on just because their partner finds the opportunity to do so. That is lack of consideration on the partner's behalf and definite grounds for separation/break-up. Do not let a cheater make you think he can lie to you forever. Assess that you can be better on your own and that there are people out there that are honest partners and can cherish you for your worth.

 Ok, so now that you have assessed that:

1. Your partner cheated on you.
2. He/She regrets it and is honestly trying to work together towards conflict resolution.
3. The ties between your partner and the other person have been absolutely dissolved.
4. You have both agreed to move on and not push this incident into each other's faces again.
5. You both are committed to strengthening your communication as a couple and your trust in each other.

You are now ready to take the necessary steps to start fresh. There is no set of rules on how to do this, but it is great that you have chosen to give your relationship a good run. That is the first step. Now just find a way to bond together with each other and rekindle what you have lost. Do not forget that a relationship entitles communication and devotion. Do not quit if you still want to try to work things out because others think that you should.

Here is a scenario that you may want to try with your partner:

Go for a drive together to a location where you can be alone. Preferably go somewhere like the beach or park. Find a spot where you will not encounter any interruptions. Now, lay all the frustrations, concerns, and any unsettled business out in the open. Really talk things through with each other and come to an agreement on how things can be better. Decide on what problems need to be fixed and how. Once you have communicated every possible confliciting issue to each other and brainstormed your next steps to solving them, make a pact that once you leave the location you are at, that you will also be leaving the cheating baggage there. For example, if you went to the beach, once you are leaving, the problems are left at the beach to wash away in the ocean and not going to stay to plague you on your new life.

Remember that you have to make a promise to each other to never, ever bring back those old feelings once they are resolved. Always live in the now, because if you live in the past you will miss the present and regret your future.