Shyne's Week 12 NFL Picks

Matthew Stafford took a huge hit late in the fourth quarter against the Browns which caused him to injure his shoulder. He then ignored his trainers that were trying to keep him from going back onto the field, went back into the game with no time left and threw the game winning touchdown pass. Great play by Stafford. Lost in the shuffle though, was that Culpepper had a chance to play hero and it got robbed from him. Think about it, Culpepper must have felt like Terry Conklin (played by Peter Berg) in the movie Great White Hype. With the world watching, he had a chance to come back on top and be the hero; but in one short moment that opportunity was taken away from him as the star  James “The Grim Reaper” Roper (played by Damon Wayans) just stole the show. Stafford played the role of Roper as he raced onto the field to capture glory. Culpepper will probably still get a chance against Green Bay but it won't be much of a shot. Culpepper has had a really short week to prepare and might not be ready to take on the Packers. Pick: Packers win 27-24.

I feel vindicated by the Raiders' decision to bench Bay Area super pimp JaMarcus Russell (admit it, he'd be the most intimidating pimp ever). Russell hit the bench and Oakland rose to the occasion and defeated the AFC North leading Cincinnati Bengals. Imagine if the president of Haiti (I chose Haiti because you never talk about the President of the States, that ish can land you in jail) went into a coma for a week and suddenly the country became prosperous and the unemployment rate dropped considerably; don't you think that the Haitian president would go missing and never be seen again? That's what's happening right now in Oakland. By the way, expect this game to be close throughout. The Raiders defense will torture Tony Romo the same way Romo tortures himself against every other NFL defense. Random question: Does Romo throw a lot of interceptions in practices against his starting defense? Pick: Cowboys win 19-16. 

I have a Twitter buddy that I keep on making fun of because of her allegiance to the Broncos (yes Chelle, I’m talking about you). It’s gotten to the point that I almost feel bad for her because the jokes come way too easy and Denver keeps giving me ammunition to take her on. For instance, last week, her and a few other people tried picking the winners of Week 11 to see who would do better. Obviously, huge bragging rights were on the line (by the way Sean is almighty and not to be messed with; yes that was part of a bet associated with the picks challenge).  She actually finished the week with a better record than me; but no one even noticed. Know why? We were too busy making fun of her because her Broncos lost 32-3. I even sent her a link detailing the friction between Brandon Marshall and Knowshon Moreno (they pushed each other during the game against the Chargers). What does this all mean? If a team all of a sudden started sinking faster than the Titanic, would you feel comfortable picking them to win against an at least decent team?  Pick: Giants win 23-20.

Although the Falcons lost last week to the Giants, they get a pick me up this week in the form of the Buccaneers. All Falcons are asking is that their team makes it to the stadium. Once the players make in to the building, you can book it as a win. Atlanta has the required guns needed to get the job done against Tampa. Pick: Flacons win 24-17.

Several teams right now are in the hunt for the wildcard spot for the playoffs. You might think it’s too early to start talking playoffs, but we are heading into Week 12 now.  It so happens that Miami is one of those teams in the hunt. Look at the AFC Conference standings:

1. Indianapolis 10-0

2. Cincinnati 7-3

3. San Diego 7-3

4. New England 7-3

5. Pittsburgh 6-4

6. Jacksonville 6-4

7. Denver 6-4

8. Baltimore 5-5

9 Houston 5-5

10. Miami 5-5

11. NY Jets 4-6

12. Tennessee 4-6

Miami isn’t too far behind but they have a lot of teams lined up that could possibly take that wildcard spot. Typically, the way you get into the playoffs is by beating the teams you’re supposed to beat; and this week they have to beat Buffalo. Pick: Dolphins win 24-23.

You have to love the Cleveland Browns. They have struggled all season to put points on the board, and when they finally get an offensive explosion, they still manage to lose (against Detroit last week). This week, they play against the Bengals which is coming off a loss to the Raiders. In their last match up, Cincinnati won by converting a field goal in overtime to win the game.  Is there any chance of this reproducing itself? I say no. Cincinnati has gotten better since that game and has more swagger. Cleveland on the other hand has gotten so bad that head coach Eric Mangini entertained the idea of bringing LeBron James to the Browns. But let me drop a little secret to coach Mangini: I’m not sure that adding Drew Brees, Adrian Peterson and Andre Johnson would change the team’s fortunes at this point. You know why? Because Mangini would still be the coach., that’s why. Pick: Bengals win 23-16.

The NY Jets’ once promising start is now a thing of the past. Although the season is not by any means over, I figured we could look back on the two biggest highlights of their season.

1. Mark Sanchez

Earlier in the season, I wrote that although no one noticed, it was fairly obvious at least to me that Sanchez was a dead ringer for Jesse Metcalfe. I wouldn’t expect guys to know who Metcalfe is so I’ll just tell you: he’s the dude that played the part of the pool boy in Desperate Housewives. By Week 12, if that’s still one of the highlights of your season, that’s a bad sign.

2. Rap songs

For those of you that listen to rap, have you ever realized that it is the most insecure genre of music? Let’s quickly take a look at some key lines you hear in rap:

-I’m the best

-Can’t no one f*ck with me

-Ain’t nobody that can touch me

-I’m the best rapper alive

-I’m like MJ in his prime

-I make history

-etc…

Now let’s have a look at Rex Ryan’s comments this season:

-I walked over tougher guys going into a fight (comment directed towards Channing Crowder)

-He can send himself and his father after me (for Crowder once again)

-I want a group of guys that does something that makes history

-If you hit us once, we’ll hit you twice

Shouldn’t Rex Ryan consider a rap career? He has the swagger, the attitude, the over the top lines about how unbeatable his squad is and yet is still relatively far from accomplishing his goals (playoffs, Super Bowl). I’m not sure he would go platinum but he would sell some records right? Let’s give him a mic:

Track title: We don’t kiss the rings

“Forget Jigga he can’t capture the Empire State of Mind,

He now live in Jersey he no longer on his grind,

The guy you want reppin NY is me Rex,

Better than anything you ever had and I’m including sex,

Forget the Giants, we the real show in town,

Give me a few weeks and I’ll turn things around,

Call me your majesty or better yet call me your government,

Cuz by the end of the season the Jets will meet the President,

50 will tell you, all I do is pop them things,

Best not forget we don’t kiss them rings….”

Pick: Panthers win 23-20.

Are the Philadelphia Eagles any good? Let me rephrase that question: do you trust them to systematically beat bad teams? A good team should always be able to beat a bad team and make it look as though the other team had no chance. Have you gotten that impression at any point in time this season except for the first week of the season? I did my own Power Rankings and divided the league in a few categories, look at where Philadelphia ends up:

The Eagles are a middle of the pack type team, but then again the Redskins are a lower of the pack type team. So that should solve this pick. Pick: Eagles win 17-13.

 A few years ago (back in 2006 I think), Bill Simmons wrote about how the New England Patriots did just enough to win games; never showing too much of their hand. As a result, the Pats were winning, but all of their games were close regardless of the opponent. Simmons mentioned that they reserved “a kitchen sink game” just in case if they were truly overmatched against an opponent. The kitchen sink game is when you throw everything in your playbook at the other team in the hopes of getting a win. I’m pretty sure the Colts used up their kitchen sink game against the Patriots. But nonetheless, they have done just enough to get by and defeat teams. Mind you will they be able to do it against the Texans? I thought about this one for a while and came to this conclusion: until a 10-0 team actually loses, don’t overthink things; just keep picking them. Nuff’ said. Pick: Colts win 23-20.

St. Louis has been awful this year but they have still managed to be competitive as of late. It would seem that the bye week did them some good.  Their talent level is the same but the execution seems different. I think they pull off the win this week. They are going to take care of business against the Seahawks. Random note: Anyone remember Jim Mora Jr's stint as the Atlanta Falcons head coach?

Story 1: It was once reported that Deangelo Hall arrived late for a team flight, and when he got there in his Lamborghini with his tires screeching, Mora got out of the plane and hopped inside Hall's Lambo and went for a ride.

Story 2: The Falcons were playing what seemed like a meaningless game in Week 17 with about 3 minutes left in the game. Instead of kicking a field goal to take the lead late in the game, Mora went for it on fourth down and failed giving the ball back to his opponent and consequently resulting in a loss. Mora later found out that had his team won or tied that game, they would have made the playoffs.

Do any of those two stories give you any semblance of confidence in Mora Jr. as a head coach? Pick: Rams win 20-17.

The San Diego Chargers started the season by limping through games. They had trouble against the likes of Oakland, (win), Baltimore (loss), Miami (win), Pittsburgh (loss) and Denver (loss). But then, everything came together as the Chargers dropped their limping act and went from being Verbal Kint, to being Keyser Soze.  Look at what they did after losing to Denver:

*37-7 win @ Kansas City

*24-16 win vs Oakland

*21-20 win @ NY Giants

*31-23 win vs Philadelphia

*32-3 win @ Denver

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist..." Quick note: Chris Chambers returns to San Diego for the first time since being cut by the Chargers. Pick: Chargers win 30-17.

 I have no idea what to make of the Jaguars. That’s why I have decided that until I figure them out, I’m asking Jaguars fan Drew Breezzy to pick their games. Accordingly to him, they lose by 3 and Scobee misses a field goal. Pick: 49ers win 16-13.

After seeing the Monday night game (Tennessee @ Houston), you are probably now aware that Chris Johnson is leading the NFL in rushing. But do any of you realize just how good he is?  These are the numbers after 10 games: 1242 yards, 199 carries and 6.2 per carry. Keep in mind, this team was 0-6 at one point which means they were trailing a lot and thus forced to air it out more than they would have wanted to. And yet Chris Johnson is running circles around defenders and has gained more yards through 10 games than Joseph Addai has gained in a full NFL season of me playing Madden. That's how you know a player is having a great season; he enters the "man he's so good, he reminds me of Madden" conversation. By the way, at the time that this was written, the assumption was that Kurt Warner was not playing on Sunday. Feel free to change your picks if you get updated information prior to the game. Pick: Titans win 19-16.

Remember when you used to see Jay Cutler in Denver? He had tons of confidence, a motor mouth and displayed tons of swagger whether his team was leading or trailing in the game. Fast forward to this season, and Cutler’s play has dropped off so bad that we should start testing him for cocaine and anti-depressants. It’s not so much that his talents or physical gifts have wavered; it’s more about his confidence. Jay Cutler has lost it. After throwing an insane amount of interceptions in the past few weeks and hearing the media scrutinize his every throw; he is now thinking about his throws. Go take a look at highlights of the Bears’ game against the Eagles. Cutler is so worried about guys swiping his passes that he keeps overthrowing his receivers. On three separate occasions against Philadelphia, Cutler had wide open receivers (and I’m talking about the receivers having about two arms worth of distance from their defender) and failed to deliver the ball. Right now, Cutler is like Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller’s character in Tropic Thunder). He has completely lost himself and will need for his teammates, coaching staff and fans to support him. Two small problems:

1.How do you support and root for a jackass?

2. He won’ get enough support to change his fortunes by Sunday. Good luck against the Vikings front four Jay.

Pick: Vikings win 24-17.

The Pittsburgh Steelers have defeated the Baltimore Ravens three times in a row. At some point, the odds have to shift in favor of the Ravens right? Keep in mind, the Steelers are a wounded animal right now and the Ravens smell blood. Pick: Ravens win 20-17.

The New Orleans Saints and New England Patriots will participate in the second biggest game of the season (after Pats vs Colts). This game reminds me of the movie Rocky VI. The former heavyweight champ (Rocky Balboa) that everyone has written off, going head to head with the new guy (Mason Dixon). Once the heavyweight fight started, the one thing that allowed Rocky to stay in the fight was the fact that Dixon injured his hand early in the fight. In essence, Rocky took away a major weapon out of Dixon’s arsenal, thus forcing him to fight at a disadvantage throughout most of the fight. Any of that sound familiar? Isn’t that exactly what Belichick does best? This game might be choppy for a bit with a few drives stalling. The offenses should pick up the pace as the game goes as the team figure each other out. Ultimately, I think that the Patriots big game experience serves them well early in the game, but the Saints explosiveness will be there late and get them a win. Random note: Could the writer have come up with a worse name than Mason Dixon? Back in the days of slavery, the Mason Dixon line was the geographical point in the United States that determined the border between the free and slave states. Why they picked that name for an African-American heavyweight boxing champ going head to head with an Italian champ is beyond me. Just figured I’d share the thought. Pick: Saints win 27-24.

Last week: 12-3

Overall record: 94-55