Fed up With Obama and McCain? Check out these Morons Running For President!
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Are you sick of both political parties? Are you fed up with your presidential options? Do you want to change the name of both parties to Republocrats and Depublicans? From my small window, deep in the woods of a lost America, I see two parties that highlight policy differences but more or less act the same. For all of the millions of dollars spent and the countless hours of campaigning, I can't tell the difference between the two parties or candidates. It's like having the choice between two apples, one that is entirely bruised or one that is filled with worms. Neither are very appetizing and both are essentially unedible.
If you are sick of eating unedible apples and want to sink your teeth into something different, here are some options.
John Taylor Bowles, a retired federal officer of the USDA, is running on the Nationalist Social Order of South Carolina ticket or more accurately "We hate everyone who isn't white" ticket. He blames the Jews, Blacks, Browns and Yellows for most of our problems and promises to fight for a White America. Mr. Bowles, a father of three daughters, has has over 34+ years of government experience and has received numerous awards and public recognition for his outstanding achievements.
Chances of winning the Presidency: 0% (And that is being generous)
Richard H. Clark, the proud owner of an IQ of 140, is fed up with our government. He proudly states that he can fix health insurance, lower taxes and provide high paying jobs. How? Just take a look at his qualifications. That alone should give you pause, to fully understand the type of man we are dealing with.
Richard H. Clark's qualifications for President of the United States.
1) He is a member of MENSA.
2) He scored in the top 1% of all aptitude tests he has taken.
3) He reads five newspapers and one science magazine for two hours every day, a habit he has cultivated for the last 20 years.
4) He is a good listener.
5) He is a problem solver.
Chances of winning the Presidency: 100% (in his own mind)
Don Cordell, a tough talking no nonsense customer, promises to give all Americans gas for $1.29 a gallon. Mr. Cordell isn't messing around. His foreign policy reads like this, "Don't screw with the United States, YOU'LL Lose." This 82 year old man, who lives check to check, is not about to let the New World Order steam over America the Beautiful. He's all business.
Chances of winning the Presidency - 100 % (I'm afraid to say anything different. He may just may google my name, show up on my doorstep and rip my heart out.)
Jack Grimes, the leader of the United Fascist Union,.... forget about the write up, this picture says it all.
Chances of winning the Presidency: Take a guess...
It's a close call, but I have to say that both Obama and McCain have a miniscule edge over the above mentioned candidates. I wonder if any of these bright, intelligent and passionate candidates would accept an invitation, by either Obama or McCain, to be their Vice President. Personally, I feel that Mr. Grimes would make a lovely Vice President. Let's face it, can he really be any worse than what we currently have?
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Comments
Robie2,
Can you imagine a debate with Mr. Grimes, Don Cordell, and John Bowles? Politics would never be the same.
I lived in Canada for the first 20 years of my life, where the parliamentary system is alive and well. Not only do you get more parties (political), but you get some real entertaining debate on the floor of the House of Commons.
sschilke
The two party state of United States is very similar to a one party state.
There is very little pluralism in terms of ideology.
It is just pluralism of ideas that makes a democracy strong.
People in United States believe they are in power since they live in a democracy, but those behind the REAL power are the largest companies, those who can afford to pay the lobby.
In other parts of the world a system of lobbying is prohibited and is regarded as corruption and people can get in jail for bribing politicians, but in United States that corruption is allowed. No democracy can become strong if policy making is dictated and manipulated by those who have money. The so called "representatives of the people" do in fact not represent the will of the majority of the people, but they represent the will of those who pay them bribes (lobby).
It is so sad that people themselves cannot vote directly for the president they want, but rather they are confined to vote for representatives, who will in turn vote for the president. This middleman in terms of voting is another corruptible chain that can be bribed into voting for "the other" president.
United States today use torture. Could it be the will of the people of the United Staes that their State would use torture if it still were a democracy?
The "democracy" of Unted States is a scam.
like it or not, but that's the truth...
Triple F, your point is true. Democracy in America is far from ideal, and if all candidates had the same amount of money and resources to share their platform, the elections would be very different.
I choose... myself.
I'll vote for you CW. If not you, then Jack Grimes for sure. We need some good facism for a few years to ferret out all the people who don't buy into one ideology.
I like Jack Grimes, but he's really no different than McPain or Osama. Same platform, just honest about it!
Constant Walker,
I would vote for you... but only if Mr. Grimes was your running mate.
Shadesbreath,
Grimes for President, how can you go wrong with a choice like that. The man has passion.
dlarson,
McPain... loved it.
Sschilke
Hi Sschilke,
Great article, perhaps we should combine the ticket, Clark with Grimes as a running mate. They could then use the campaign slogan of, "Pinky and the Brain" ..."Pinky are you think what I am thinking?"
In the Doghouse,
I like that ticket, but only if Bowles manages the campaign.
Sschilke
I have to say, after years of cynically based non-voting, Jack Grimes is the one man who could bring me back to the booth. I mean, look at that helmet! For Jack's sake, and America's, I hope it's bulletproof. Probably just spear-proof though...
That Cordell character looks like a winner!
Very amusing!
jreuter,
That helmet looks bullet proof to me. Now that you bring it up, I kind of want one for myself.
funne bone,
Darn right he is a winner. How could anyone refuse an offer from Mr. Cordell?
Sweetie Pie,
Happy to provide a little amusement in these tenious political times.
sschilke
America is all about consolidation. In every facet of our lives. Having that many parties would confuse people who have become used to simply labeling themselves, and assuming the positions on issues post assignment to their party.
Curdman,
Are you saying we voters are simpletons? You just may have a point there.
sschilke
Well we aren't really simpletons, but that isn't to say we don't want everything to be as simple as possible. But requiring you to have a personal stance on every issue will require a lot of inward thought, and we all strive to be accepted into a large group. Small broken up groups don't suit us very well.
Curdman,
Good point.
Sschilke
Gas for $1.29 a gallon huh? This Cordell guy must know something everyone else doesn't... right.. Nice hub!
sschilke,
Are you questioning Mr. Cordell's vast intellect? I think he must be Canadian, thinking litres not gallons.
Thanks for your feedback.
sschilke
Actually...when you wondered what a debate would be like with all of these candidates...I couldn't help but remember the 1992 presidential campaign with Ross Perot. I loved his outrageous personality...he made the debates interesting ot watch. Not to mention Vice Admiral Stockdale, his VP Candidate who kept turning his hearing aid off during the debates.
Mr. Grimes has my vote. A very witty picture...indicating his executive material by displaying how he is comfortable wearing many hats.
spryte
Spryte,
Very insightful comment about Mr. Grimes. I agree with you about Ross Perot, what a piece of work.
Sschilke
"EXPECT TERROR ATTACKS; COMING SOON!!"
Dear Editor; PLEASE PUBLISH!
Few Americans grasp the ramifications of a piece of legislation entitled "Directive 51", which is very similar to The National Emergency Powers Act that Germany's fledgling democracy adopted after World War I. This piece of legislation was later used by Adolf Hitler to seize total control over all branches of the government, and establish his brutal Nazi regime.
We think it's safe to assume the Bush baddies will simulate a national emergency by staging yet another Terrorist Hoax to cancel the elections this November. Once again, the United Fascist Union cautions you, watch out for this man, Bush, he is replicating the worst aspects of tyrants from the past.
Sincerely yours,
Mr. J. Grimes
Presidential Candidate
of the United Fascist Union
Coming to Gulag Bush!
To the Editor:
This story is based upon something my boss, Jackson Grimes, told me when he went to Canada in June for the United Fascist Union grotto of Halifax, NS. It is important that every person who values their liberties read it, and take it’s message to heart.
It seems there was a woman on the same bus as Mr. Grimes, returning to Canada and she told him that her and some friends went to Minnesota recently, and they were all strip- searched by US Customs Officials upon entering this country. She attributed this to all four of them being young and pretty. Mr. Grimes said she looked like she was 20- something. As a woman, I’d like to point out that this is using the draconian legislation the rotten Bush regime instituted after they rushed their very unpopular terror bill through a dead House of Congress, to exploit my sex and mask perversion behind the law.
As an American woman, I’ve got to say this is more than a little frightening, thinking under the laws of the Bush regime they can do anything they want to us and we can’t do anything to fight back. The people shouldn’t fear the government; the government should fear the people. I want you to send a message this November by voting Fascist and making sure Jackson Grimes becomes the next President of the United States of America.
Hail Grimes!
Heather Goldsmith
Head Secretary of the United Fascist Union
RE: Letter to the Editor
Dear Editor:
C. Wright Mills believes the power elite tolerates the procedures of democracy because it owns them and can make sure that they act in its interests no matter what the outcome of elections may be. This explains why minor parties like the United Fascist Union never receive enough press coverage or money to have a realistic chance of threatening the established order.
Mills’ book “The Power Elite” challenges the assumption that societies have democratic political institutions. He asserts instead that party politics and elections are little more than rituals. This explains why parties like the United Fascist Union are only given token recognition when we do manage to field candidates for public office, and why the common peoples’ lot in life only continues to get worse in America.
Mr. J. Grimes
Presidential Candidate
of the United Fascist Union
Heather Goldsmith,
Thanks for the updates. Please keep us informed about how we can make a difference for the Grimes campaign.
sschilke
Talk Shows: Guest Relations
(410) 398-2167
Dear Programming Director:
I am Jack Grimes, Director and C.E.O. of the UNITED FASCIST UNION. This letter of introduction is being sent to various talk radio stations, to explain what the U.F.U. is as well as what it is not. It is our hope that as a result of this letter you will have me as a guest on one of your station’s talk shows, and that through our dialogue as mutual understanding can be reached that will lead to the creation of a new Fascist party in the United States and Canada.
The UNITED FASCIST UNION is NOT a neo-Nazi club and a hang-out for the redneck, white trash who promote bigotry and hatred between the various races of humanity. Nor, does the U.F.U. preach any form of a Stalinist dogma that will lead to the enslavement of humanity under a tyrant. I make this statement of fact because it is a common misconception that Fascism is either some form of Nazism or Communism, it is NOT.
Original FASCISM was an economic theory, called “Corporate Statism”, which was the creation of the Italian statesman, Benito Mussolini. Among Prime Minister Mussolini’s advocations was the creation of a new Roman Empire. The desired goal of the UNITED FASCIST UNION is the creation of a global government based on a Corporate State economy, which will embrace all nations of the earth as equal trading partners, laying the foundations of a new Roman Empire.
If this sounds like an interesting topic that might captivate listeners why don’t we talk about it on one of your talk shows? I can be reached at the above number if you are interested.
Viva Nova Roma
HOLY IS BABYLON!!!!
Mr. J. Grimes
Director & C.E.O. of the
UNITED FASCIST UNION
Dear Editor:
A recent magazine article I came across was talking about how America has lowered its standards regarding immigrants. Now, our major cities are infested with bedbugs in all of the apartments and rooming houses. Another thing, it pointed out is it's these people who are importing terrible diseases, like leprosy, and consumption because they don’t vaccinate for major illnesses in their native countries.
The United Fascist Union urges you to vote for our candidate for US President, Jackson Grimes, so we can enact laws that will make sure only productive people who will contribute to the welfare of the nation are allowed in this country and, keep English the national language. In short, the U.F.U. will keep America for Americans!
Sincerely yours,
Joanne Parker
Deputy Director of the
United Fascist Union
robie2 says:
18 months ago
Now this is the most interesting political hub I've seen in a long time. What a good idea. If only we had a parliamentary system with more parties our races would be far more interesting, wouldn't they?