Truth be known... I enlisted. I've been in the armed forces for over two years. Some aspects I love and some aspects I hate.

I cannot tell you the right and wrong way to be a soldier. I can tell you the different reasons I have heard for becoming one. Personally, I joined because I heard the call of duty. I wanted to serve, to put myself in harm's way to defend my country. Others joined for the money. Some joined because it was family tradition. Others joined so they could see the world on Uncle Sam's dollar. Many joined to get out of jail. I even bumped into someone who joined because he was bored and thought the army could give him the level of excitement he needed.

I'm a bit of an idealist when it comes to serving, so I made sure not to join because of money or anyone else's desires for me. It was me, my gun, and the red-white-blue. Sacrifice all but my life and sanity for my beloved homeland.

I can't tell you what is the right reason. Everyone has their own. I can tell you this much: if you loose your focus when bullets are flying, and loose it so much that all you can focus on is the danger and then run - the army is not the place for you. If you can't handle stress, the army is not the place for you. If you are so afraid of getting killed that you can't function even at drill here in the states, the army is not the place for you.

There is never just one reason for someone to join. I joined to serve, but the adventure part of it is absolutely fascinating. The comradery I've felt with some of the soldiers really is much closer than some relationships with family members. The idea that you're serving a cause greater than your own makes you feel like such an honorable man that you'll be high on your ego for a long time. And I should have bargained for the best bonus I could have.

I live in Portland. I've been advised multiple times not to be caught downtown in my uniform. Army vehicles have the highest insurance because they're always getting vandalized. Why? Because the people Portlanders are least accepting towards are soldiers. It's not all Portlanders and it's not all soldiers. But there is an image that anyone willing to step behind a gun is an evil person - and this image runs through the minds of a lot of Portlanders. Never mind the part where we step in front of the gun to defend our country - if we're behind it, we must be evil baby-killers.

I've run into many types of soldiers in my two years. Drill Sergeants are a breed of their own on the outside - very rude, crude, abrasive, and in-yo-face-bitch. It's their job and many do their job very well. We counted once and one drill sgt averaged the word "Fuck" once every ten seconds for over an hour - and he was the awesome drill sgt.

A common theme I always expect at drill is the subject of sex. I've never heard so much talk about sex and odd experiences than I have at drill. At my last drill, one of my comrades mentioned that there's nothing better than getting a blow job, stepping out onto the back patio naked to flip the burgers on the grill, shoot a bird out a tree, then go back for another blow job. I then stated "Wow, you mean you stop having sex long enough to flip a burger and shoot a gun? I didn't think you did anything else." Many soldiers get three times as many women when they're in uniform than before they enlisted. Perks.

I've never been called a baby-killer to my face. I've had to defend my decision to join a few times. I know I am not a killer of babies. However, I have met people I consider murderers in the army. Many people who initially came across to me as murderers are bluffing and just want the attention. When asked why we joined and we all stood one at a time to tell, some people said all they wanted to do was to shoot someone without having to go to jail for it. Half these people say so just for attention. The other half constitute maybe one or two percent of the entire army and give the other ninety-eight percent of us a bad name. I can see it in their eyes that they want to kill just for the sake of killing and don't care who or why. People like this congregate to the spot of most violence and end up joining active duty or the marines so I don't see as many in the Reserves and Guard. They band together and watch each others back, protecting each other from those who would bring them to justice, hiding the truth from those who would bring them to justice if they could. Quite literally, I have considered shooting these men to save lives of innocent people. Destroy only to protect.

I have met people who join mostly for the money. At boot camp, half the soldiers were joining the Guard and getting paid 20,000 to do it. Many of them were begging to get out and happily willing to give back the 20,000 to do it. I knew what I was getting into and actually expected boot camp to be more stressful than it actually was. I didn't question my decision to join until after I'd been out of boot camp for months. When the tear gas was popped and we all had to put on our gas masks, one soldier hauled ass out of there. When the gas cleared, he was over two hundred feet away crying, and not from the tear gas either. The army was not the place for him. I saw soldiers that when fifteen feet in the air on a ledge were completely useless. I saw soldiers that would fuck up so bad just to get attention - even if negative attention like getting their asses kicked two or three times a week. The army is not the place for them. I saw soldiers that would cry like they missed mommy at the smallest amount of stress. NOT THE PLACE FOR THEM. I even met one soldier that had a sexually questionable tattoo of his mother on his back and would rub his neck while in line like his hands were those of a lover. If you want to find odd people, the army is the place for you.

I have mentioned that there are many people who I don't trust in the army. There are complete assholes, idiot lieutenants, murderers that would shoot you in the back, rapists (who think it's not rape if it's a woman from the defeated country. Spoils of war, right?) All these questionable soldiers make up a small fraction of the army. At first I thought I would avoid them, not work with them, maybe even eliminate them from the picture to save lives or something.

After a while I noticed that those gray ethics of theirs are shadowed by other traits that may be beneficial. Watch Band of Brothers. There's a lieutenant that orders the execution of a dozen captured nazis without regard for law or humanity - murderer, right? But then later in the series the same man uses his excellent leadership skills to win a stunning victory in Bastogne. He runs straight through a group of Germans who are so stunned to see an American they they don't even shoot at him. It's actually my favorite part in the whole series. The soldiers of Alpha Company might be thinking he was a murderer, but they were sure glad he was the one in charge during that battle.

I met a guy in my old unit that was obsessed with watching people die - not so much killing them, just watching them die. I figured he was one notch up from murderer, but then I noticed that he was an excellent sergeant and everyone in his platoon respected his leadership and were incredibly effective at training. I would have liked to have been in his platoon just because he got shit done and got it done well.

There was another guy who was a bit of a dork and a loud-mouth. But that son of a bitch got stuff done too. He might not have done it the best way - hardly ever actually. But I respected him because he got stuff done! I see it all the time that people will argue with their superiors and debate and debate some more until the sun goes down and nothing is finished. This loud mouth got stuff done! And he was funny as hell. He was missing a tooth and would just cram a cigarette in the gap and smoke hands-free while he talked. Awesome.

The one soldier in mind that was useless when fifteen feet in the air... he was a quiet kind of guy that would sometimes screw up just for attention. But that jackass won in combatives all the time. When he had pugils in his hands - simulated bayonet fighting - he became a lion. I outweighted him by over thirty pounds and it felt like he ran me over like a freight train. He might have been a selfish prick, but I'd want him watching my back in a knife fight. At least one that didn't take place on the roof of a building.

I am still learning what types of soldiers I need to keep an eye out for, but I have learned that perhaps the bad soldiers are needed just as much as the good soldiers and we all will be most effective if we work together.

Most people associate the word "soldier" as a dude with a uniform, a gun, and a story of lost friends. I believe a soldier is a person with a certain type of mindset. It is the mindset of serving a cause greater than your own, to bravely step in danger so that others can be safe. Thus I include police officers and firefighters in the soldier category. Spies in foreign countries. FBI and NSA agents. Anyone who steps up to danger and puts their own interests on the back burner.

I personally respect firefighters above all. Their enemy kills without regard to gender, age, or wealth. Their enemy knows no borders of nationality or race. Everyone hates fire and wants it controlled yet so few train to fight it. Firefighters see more action than most army soldiers do and have worse stories, yet they serve for years and years while I might do one tour of duty in the four years I have left in the army. Firefighters are my brothers in arms. If you're a firefighter, I solute you.

Now I've noticed a distinction between enlisted soldiers and commissioned soldiers. Commissioned soldiers are required to have a four-year degree although exceptions are made. Thus officers (commissioned soldiers) are more educated on average than enlisted soldiers. I almost went commissioned as I have a four-year degree, but I am not the type of soldier that serves my country from behind a desk and a lot of commissioned soldiers are always behind a desk. It was a conscious choice not to commission and despite the fact that I've been offered prestige and money, I simply do not see myself as the desk type. Besides, sergeants command more respect than most officers I've met.

Long story short, if you're thinking about serving your country and feel a call of duty to serve a cause greater than your own... consider all the options before making your choice. Consider law enforcement to see if it would fulfill the call. Check out firefighting. Check out FBI and NSA and CIA and a dozen other agencies under Uncle Sam. Hell, you could even join a non-profit organization and administer medicine to children in Africa or something. If I had to go through that process again, I would definitely become a firefighter and leave the option of a commissioned soldier open. People who enlist without investigating the options are idiots. Don't just enlist. Investigate thuroughly because most recruiters will lie to you like a car salesman to get you to join. I bought my recruiter a fifty-dollar-plate dinner when I got back from boot camp because he had lied to me so little compared to everyone else's recruiters. People were promised a lot of money and no chance of deployment - bullshit. Investigate every nook and craney. Most units even have programs where civilians can join soldiers for a drill just to see what it's like. Joining the army can put a huge dent in your future - it's worth taking a couple months investigating to see if it's the right thing for you.

And of course, the army has it's perks. Women treat you different, people buy you lunch on occasion, old fuckers that went through more hell than I approach me to thank me for my service, I get to shoot guns (I love guns), and I get to blow the shit out of stuff. In my old unit we drilled using paintball guns - it was standard drill procedures to bring your equipment because odds were we'd be kicking in doors and shooting each other. It was realistic training that was incredibly fun and exciting. We'd practice squad movements and assault tactics and even stuff like pop your head up for only three seconds at a time and duck again before someone marked your position. Each soldier would burn through four hundred rounds per day at drill. It was great. The paint even comes out of the uniforms. Many soldiers would happily spend more money on paintball equipment than they would earn from drill. We'd bring in police forces to train with us and professional teams to give us a challenge. It kicked ass.