Hi, my name is Patty and I have six children, from a senior in college on down to the baby, in third grade. Three with food allergies, four with asthma, the two more severe food-allergic kids having more of a daily life asthma situation going on. . . they kinda go hand-in-hand.

Tomorrow's quandry: Harry was home yesterday, with a cold. When Harry gets a cold, he gets asthma. Today? I packed him up, gave him some purple cold syrup, his albuterol, a note for his teacher for the nurse to hit him again with his inhalor at noon, and crossed my fingers.

Now, it's after dinnertime. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the dentist for my thirteen year old son....'out-of-town'. Decisions, decisions. He is a specialty dentist for fearful kids, and my son needs a cavity filled that he has been unable to sit still for. After three failed attempts with our family practice, off we go to see the specialist.

"Mommy?", Harry just caught my attention. "What?" I asked. "It still hurts to breathe", he tells me, pointing his chubby finger to the middle of his chest. "Oh, then, do your inhalor again, Harry" I advise him. "But, Mommy?" "Yes?" "It still feels like i am not getting all the air in, in here", and again for illustrative purposes, to show his mother, who to him for reasons unfathomed, isn't 'getting' that he really feels like he can't breathe, even with the dumb inhalor, looks me in the eye, points his finger to his chest, smack in the middle, with his eye follwing his finger, then looks back up at me. As if I can fix it. I can't. "Come here, honey", I ask. Harry obeys, bending over and picking his little shirt up so that I can put my ear to his back to listen to his breathing. He knows the drill, as do I. "Breathe", I say, my right ear against his back, my left hand holding him in place, resting on his tummy. He takes a big breath. I hear the air whistle in. But? I don't hear it come back out. Crap. Asthma definition: Air is trapped in the lungs, and they don't completely deflate when tubes are swollen. So? Yeah, he can't breathe.

"Okay, honey", I say, pulling his shirt back down around his tummy. "Let's give you some more purple medicine, and do your other inhalor too" (steorid one). Now I am wondering if I won't end up back at the doctor tomorrow with him. And, I def. don't want him sick while I am away at graduation, no that his Dad can't handle matters, but I'm with him more and little more proficient at listening to his breathing. Call me a human stethoscope, I've had way too many years experience and practice at this juncture (my 17 year old is just now, praise the Lord, coming off half of his daily asthma medication, never having been asthma med free, not once, in 15 and half years, since getting it with pnemonia and coupled with severe food allergies at 14 months of age. Again, out of my six, three have food allergies, two with pretty chronic asthma).

Oh, brother and BIG SIGH. Now, I am worried. And, the guilt will set in. If I take Sam, my thirteen year old son to the dentist to get his growing, and now painful cavity filled, then I risk Harry going off to school and getting into breathing trouble. And? I will be forty minutes away. Not a lot if it doesn't involve something as critical as, well, being able to breath. Not to mention, I know that all day long in school, he will be distracted by that 'spot' in his chest, where the air isn't getting in all the way when he breathes. Great.

If I don't take Sam to get that cavity filled, then he will have to wait another three weeks, because next week I am going down South to see my eldest daughter, my heart, graduate from college.

So, the choices I have are: 1: Keep Harry home, don't take Sam to dentist. Risk Sam having a whopper of a tooth-ache while I am away; 2: Take Sam to the dentist, send Harry off to school on his purple antihistamine flavored especially for children like him, and with two puffs of albuterol and hope for the best; :3: Take Sam to the dentist, keep Harry home, bring Harry with us to the dentist.

Who am I kidding? I already know that I will opt for scenario number three.

Harry, when he has a cold and it is difficult to breathe due to asthma, is uncomfortable going to school . . .if he is at home with his mommy, he feels reassured that I will, somehow, ensure that his breathing and his very little life will go on. If I drag him to the dentist, I can monitor his asthma, and also take care of Sam's nasty growing cavity. The downside? He misses school and although he is quite bright, another day out of school doesn't help him and I have already had a report-cardful of comments stating that if Harry were in school on a more regular basis, that he would do 'amazing'. Guilt, guilt, and oh,more guilt.

I cannot please everyone. I know that the older Harry gets, the larger his tubes in his lungs become, and the less affected he will be by viral (cold) induced asthma.

I also know that I will be frowned upon for not sending him off, feeling like he does. And what, oh what Lord, can I do? The only thing I know how to , take care of my son. What, oh what , would you do?

It is always something.

God Bless

Patty