Every year, more and more relationships are ending in divorce with a significant increase every year. I checked out a couple ‘divorce' web sites and found Easy Divorce Kits for $25.95, online divorce forms for all 50 states, and found that 75% of marriages end in divorce. This is very troubling for the single ladies that have never been married, who still think marriage starts and ends like a fairytale. I have witnessed different types of marriages, and for the most part, women seem to be the ones doing all the work! What gives?! On occasion, the man will not be at fault, but those are few and far in between! Divorced women have a difficult time when they hit the dating scene again, especially when you start getting close. It can be difficult to get into the groove of dating, depending on how bad the divorce was. Once you find someone interesting, you can't be scared to talk about your previous marriage and the learning experience that came with it. Depending on the type of relationship you find yourself in this time around is what will determine when and how to break the news. First things first, you definitely want to have an open and honest relationship with someone you can talk to, if not, then on to the next! Once you have established good rapport with your new honey, you should feel comfortable discussing anything with him (or her). Secondly, timing is everything. You shouldn't wait too long, or spill the beans too soon, when you share your Ex-files. You can determine the right time, place, and manner, but you cannot determine their reaction in most cases. Everyone views marriage and divorce differently, so be sure to be sensitive to the initial reaction.

If you can share your body with a man, you should be able to share other things with him too, right? Once you seem to be leaning towards a possible relationship, you have got to spill the beans, but don't spill your guts! There is only a handful of basic information that your new beau needs to know... How long you were married and why you got a divorce. You can usually initiate the conversation by asking about his ex(s) first. Here are some helpful sample questions that we normally ask anyway: What's the longest relationship you've been in? Have you ever lived with any of your ex-girlfriends? What is your biggest turn-off in a relationship? That way, you get to know a little more about him before you dish. You already know that he is going to ask you to answer your own questions, so that gives you the opportunity to tell him you were married.

Do not feel obligated to discuss every tidbit of your failed relationship, all he needs to know is that you were once married and it didn't work out. If you feel comfortable getting into the specifics, feel free, but I do not recommend it. The less (anyone) knows about your past, the less ammunition they have to throw back in your face, that goes for anyone and everyone in your life. I know that whenever I discuss my failed five-year relationship, a lot of old feelings are stirred up and I get upset, so keep your ex file stories short and sweet. I normally respond with, "Its unfortunate, but, we grew up and grew apart;" and other times I respond with, "We met when we were both really young, so, once we grew-up a little, we realized we wanted and needed different things out of the relationship." Now, if your man cheated on you, only let your new love interest know he cheated on you once, even if he did it more then that. Besides, you don't want him to use the additional information against you latter. If you confess to allowing your ex to cheat on you several times and put up with it, he may think to himself, "If she let him get away with all that then maybe I can get away with..." and that man will test his limits with you, unless he is really in love with you. When a man is in love with you, he will do his best not to hurt or disappoint you.

Another important factor about telling your new beau that you're divorced is that YOU have to be the one to tell him. Do not let your friends or family members mention it accidentally. When that happens, your new love may think you have something to hide, and that can only lead to the inevitable ending of your little fairytale. In the beginning of a relationship, you are always on a pedestal, the only way to stay on it is by letting the new love of your life get to know you little by little so that they don't get chased away by information overload about your past. You see, sometimes, communication has to come in baby-steps.

If you have kids from your ex-husband then it's pretty obvious that you were in a serious relationship, but that doesn't mean that you were once married. When you mention that you have kids, not just that you have them, but when you really ‘talk' about them, you can refer to their father as your: ex, ex-husband, or their ‘father'. Each title means something different: Your Ex, is someone that was a part of your life and is no longer, and when you refer to him as their father, it means just that, it isn't very specific. However, once you call him ‘my ex-husband', then you are letting the new person in your life know that you are divorced, in a very straight-forward way.

Some women have a don't ask, don't tell policy, but I feel that it is a little deceitful, what is there to hide or be ashamed of? Others will flat out avoid discussing the past. It is very important to be honest, but there is no need for anyone to know your whole life story in a short period of time. Take it slow and enjoy the ride.