So Twitter Me This...
66Needed Communication or a Waste of Time?
Now I know I’m going to get a lot of shit about this, but what is the point of Twitter? This has got to be the dumbest thing to come along since blogging. I mean call me a narcissist, but I couldn’t care less who is standing in a checkout lane at Walmart or what celebrity is ordering a ten dollar cup of coffee at a Starbucks in Beverly Hills at any given moment. The first time I heard someone on the radio talking about it, I seriously thought it was a goof. I remember saying to myself, “This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Who's ever going to buy into this shit?” Low and behold, I couldn’t have been more wrong. You can’t go anywhere anymore without it being plastered on everything that isn't moving to too fast.
There seems to be three main groups of people in the ridiculous vortex known as Twitter. You’ve got the people that are convinced that the earth is going to stop spinning if they don’t write about every mundane minute of their self absorbed lives. Then there is the group of celebrities that use this as nothing more than a tool to further inflate their egos and use the number of mindless followers to try to boost their status of worth. Finally there are the star fuckers that are the life blood of the second group.
When did people start thinking that they were so important and their lives were so interesting that the rest of the world needed to know about every minute of their day? I hate to break it to you, but I don’t give a shit who you are, what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with unless you’re in the way of me getting my shit done. I don’t know about you, but if I’m in the middle of doing something the last thing I’m going to do is stop so I can write about it. I determine what part of my day is worth talking about by asking myself a simple question, “Would I want to hear someone else tell me about it?” If I would, then I’ll share it. If not, I don’t it’s as simple as that. Oh, and I usually share my experiences with my friends and family in person or on the phone. When I say on the phone, I mean actually talking to the person, not sending them a text message. I’m not even going to get started on my love of that here.
I guess one of my biggest questions is how can anyone do anything worth writing about when they don’t put down their blackberry long enough to get anything done? I’m a pretty active guy. Most days I’m busy with one thing or another from the time I get up to the time I go to bed, and I only sleep maybe three hours a night. I wouldn’t have the time to waste on this even if I wanted to. I mean it would take you the better part of an hour just to make a sandwich if you stopped and wrote about every fucking step of the process.
The only thing that pisses me off more than someone that can’t stop typing long enough to have an actual face to face conversation with, is someone that has become a slave to their phone, and thinks the world has to stop everytime their phone beeps in hopes that one of the countless celebrities that they are obsessed with has sent out a new twitter update. After which they feel obligated to twitter everyone they know the earthshattering news in the update. The most delusional part of it is that actually are convinced that they are personal friends with these people, and that these celebs have nothing better to do than chronicle their every move just for them. How pathetically desperate can you get when you need to live your life in someone else’s shoes to feel self worth? I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but all of your celebrity best friends that you have such a ‘deep connection’ with don’t even know you exist! They have people that hire other people to make shit up and send out all of the precious twitter updates that you wait for with baited breath. In other words, when your twitter update says that Paris is dancing at the newest club on Sunset, she is probably loaded out of her mind and has no idea where she is or what’s she’s doing.
The cold reality of the celebrity twitter is that it is nothing more than a publicity tool to attract as many mindless followers as they can further inflate their bloated egos and so they can try to convince some studio that they are worth a few million dollars more.
In the end Twitter is nothing more than yet another way to take the human element out of communication, and to sell more electronic gadgets that simulate human contact and self importance while allowing you maintain your hermit-like lifestyle.
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Comments
Thanks, Once again you are too kind. I wrote this one a little while ago and just found it. It was inspired by all of people that get in your day everyday because they can't function without playing with their phone.
Does this also fall into the same thing on facebook with peoples status updates. I agree that I am not relly interested in the fact that they are getting ready to go out, or that the food they just ate was fab. great hub had me chuckling.
Helen, thanks for the comment. I'm glad it made you smile.
This is one of your best hubs. I just wrote about Twitter because I fell for it. I had to see for myself what was it all about... three months later I still don't get it. Silly me, all I needed to do was read your hub to understand the real Twitter and its importance... None!!!
Anath, thanks for agreeing with me on this one. So many people can't imagine try to make it through their day without this damn thing. You dominate!
Twitter is the most boring crap I've ever seen. Tried it for about a day. At the end of that day I could not, for the life of me, figure out what all the fuss was about. I don't get it either.
Love it!!!! Although I must confess, love my blackberry, but-I don"t twitter! Great hub! thanks for the smile!
I'm glad that I'm not the only one that thinks this whole Twitter thing is a ton of crap. It's good to hear that you ladies enjoyed it without getting offended.
Ye, you're right. I do though think that there are different kinds of celebrity and that some of them ARE worth following even though most of them aren't. Don't get me wrong, I don't like Twitter and I'm not on it. I have similar annoyances about Facebook. People use their blackberrys/iPhones to say that they are really enjoying something, or busy with something ... except they're clearly not because they've stopped to write about it on facebook. Just get on enjoying whatever ur doin, tell me about it later!!!!
Great hub!
Right on jenblacksheep! Thanks for reading it.
Thanks for an entertaining read. The bit about Paris made me laugh.
ROFLMAO!!! This one was great, it took me a long time to read it, half the time I had tears streaming down my face from laughter.
I TOO DO NOT SEE THE POINT OF TWITTER!!! I THINK, PERSONALLY THAT IT HALF OF THE GADGETS THEY COME UP WITH THESE DAYS.
I am on facebook and myspace but I don't go out there to make friends or well, I don't go out to those sites maybe once in a blue moon. Personally I don't care who changes they're status or puts something up on they're wall.
As for Twitter, I prefer keeping it to myself everytime I breathe, eat or take a shit!!! Twitter will just have to Twitter along without me.
Frank, I'm glad you liked it. Comments like yours make it all worth it.
Yeah, but your in the forums right now.. :)
Justine, the forums are my muse. It's also not a bad place to hang out at lunch.
This made me laugh so much and you even threw in some great points. Looking forward to reading more of your work!
wrenfrost56, thanks for reading my latest rant. I'm glad it made you laugh.
I type about 7 words a minute when I get a text message and I usually type OK.(Lol) I loved your hub. Way to blow off steam, I'm impressed (that's sorta a compliment, it doesn't take much to impress me. Just kidding) (lol)I am now a fan!!
archdaw, I glad that you enjoyed this, and am honored that you weere impressed. Thanks
Impressive, now I need a to find a hub giving me reasons to stay!
retellect the best reason to stay is to see what you're gonna find around here tomorrow.
Some people aren't hermits by choice...
Twitter is stupid tho. I much prefer hubpages!! :)
And that is why you dominate Justine!
Phew, I'm glad I took a trip to London last week otherwise I would not have known what you were talking about... It was only then that I discovered what a Blackberry is;-)
Well I'm glad you did then too Quirky, because this would've sounded really dumb otherwise. Thanks for reading.
Loved the article, but what's Twitter?
aguasilver, Twitter is an example of all that is wrong with the world today. Thanks for reading.
nice hub .... tell it how it is.....
poetlorraine, the hard and fast truth is the best way.
absolutely could not agree more, write a hub on what you think of hub pages
That is a fine idea. I will definately piss some people off, but every now and again you need to stir things up and piss people off. I just might do that...
it would certainly be something i will look out for, just a warning, maybe watch the language some idiot will flag it before i have time to read it, and we don't want that
I'll keep it as clean as possible. I've been pretty lucky about not having anything flagged yet, so hopefully it will continue.
twitter also become phenomenon. Many people talk about twitter. and it's become growth day by day.
I sure has prasetio30
HAHAHAH!! I was wathing Couple's Retreat this past weekend, and Vince Vaughn was talking about Twitter, he says "I call it Twatting"..HAhHAHAHHA
Justine, I knew Vince was cool!
very nice said Twitter is nothing more than yet another way to take the human element out of communication, and to sell more electronic gadgets that simulate human contact and self importance while allowing you maintain your hermit-like lifestyle.
Lgali I knew you were cool. Whatever happened to just having a good old fashioned face to face conversation?
Too funny! I absolutely understand where you're coming from. I just recently started using Twitter. I use it to get traffic to my different websites. It actually works well for that. *But, I don't do it through my phone. lol
I'm glad that you found a use for it there FoxxFire. I'm still trying to uncover great need for it in my life.
So I take it you don't want to know what I had for breakfast...
Well done, bloodnlatex. I couldn't agree more!
Thanks Lorlie
I just love twitter.. :D but nothing is greatthen to face the reality that people do have fake profiles there as well of celebrities and have fun! its a nice hub.. thanks
Terrowhite, thanks for checking it out. Twitter on my friend.
Hmmmmm, I like twitter, but you're right, sometimes it is too much!
Thanks Runaway and welcome to Hub Pages....
I don't get twitter either,and I just joined facebook last month I think it was. It's better because I've managed to get in touch with some out of town relatives, so that's fun.I sometimes send my hubs to twitter but other than that, I do believe you are very right;)
Thanks for reading this little rant of mine Nita.
myownworld says:
2 months ago
What a powerful hub! Hard hitting (tinged with just the right amount of sarcastic wit)...this was brilliantly written! Your words have a force that carries the reader away...Keep writing!