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Helping your children develop social skills

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By Stormy Brain



Social skills for kids are needed to help them interact with other children their age and feel accepted by them. Parents play an important role in social skills for kids as they interact with them on a daily basis. You can do simple things to teach your children proper social skills at a young age. Start by teaching them the importance of sharing, controlling their anger, taking turns, and allowing others to talk while they listen. Self-control is a large aspect of social skills for kids. They learn their social skills by watching their parents and other people. They will imitate the responses they like from other people. Social skills for kids can come easy for some children, while it can be challenging for others. You may need to spend more time with your child to help them develop appropriate social skills.

Many parents use an effective discipline strategy called "time out" to teach their children proper social skills. They are helping their children to understand acceptable behavior and help them learn new skills. Parents do not need to focus on the misbehaviors of their children, but rather on the things they are doing correctly. Social skills are like any other skill. They are similar to learning how to count numbers, ride a bicycle, or play a musical instrument. Children that struggle with social skills may learn them from their parents, which may have some problems with their social behavior. Parents need to understand how their social behavior impacts their children, causing some parents to re-evaluate the way they interact with others.

Here are some tips for parents to teach good social skills for kids:

Tip # 1 - You need to be an example for your child. You have to show them the appropriate behavior to follow. If your child constantly interrupts people, discuss a new way to help them get people's attention. Let them know it is not nice to interrupt other people. Discuss placing their hand on the person's arm to let them know they have something to say or that they need their attention. If you and your child practice this together, they will start to do this to others and it will help them avoid interrupting people. Teach them the importance of raising their hand in class and waiting until the teacher calls on them before they can talk.

When you are in public, be social with many people. Be courteous and kind to them and introduce your child to them. Over time, you child will be able to see how to approach new people and make friends. They will understand how to communicate with others and they will value other people.

Tip # 2
- Recognize your child's accomplishments. When you notice your child demonstrating proper social skills, praise them. Let them know they are doing a good job and encourage them to continue the behavior. Do not allow them to do wrong behavior and get away with it. Incorporate a reinforcement system that rewards your child when they practice appropriate behavior. You can do simple things like giving them a hug or a high five when you observe them practicing good behavior. Do other things like reading a book together or playing a game together to let your child know you observed their good behavior.


Tip # 3 - Teach them how to control their emotions. Several children lash out with temper tantrums when they do not get their way or when they are upset. Help your child find alternative ways to express their anger. Teach them that instead of yelling, screaming, biting, stomping their feet, or hitting, they need to take a deep breath and calm down. You can do other things to help your child calm down, like having them go into another room by themselves until they calm down. A popular technique used by anger management instructors is to have the person practice blowing bubbles. When your child starts having anger issues, tell them to start blowing bubbles. This will help them calm down and re-gain control of their emotions. If your child still struggles with anger issues, talk to their doctor to see if they have behavioral problems that may need some treatment.

When you are in a frustrating situation, avoid lashing out at your children and your spouse. Show your children how you handle frustrating situations by taking deep breaths to calm down before you talk to them or to their spouse. You and your spouse should never argue in front of your children. This promotes poor social skills and causes many children to repress their emotions. They may lash out at their friends or teachers because they feel like they cannot express their emotions at home.

Tip # 4 - Don't be afraid to discipline your children. Children need rules and they thrive on structure. When you have set rules in the home, a child will feel safe and secure. They will be able to understand their limits and they know what is expected of them. Do not feel bad for reprimanding your child if they did something wrong. Parents need to be parents and not look at their children as their best friends. While you want to maintain a friendly relationship with your child, they need to understand that you are in charge and you are their parents.

Tip # 5 - Encourage your child to participate in social activities. Keeping your child around other children their age will teach them social skills. They will understand how other children interact and they are able to make friends easier when they are around other children often. Friends will help them with their self-esteem because they will feel accepted by someone other than their parents. Enroll your child in extracurricular activities that teach teamwork and sharing. Sports are wonderful after-school activities for children because they are able to interact with other children their age and they get burn off some extra calories. Contact your city office to find out what groups are available for children. Swimming lessons are another great after-school activity because children learn how to be independent.


Encourage your child to make friends other than the children they interact with at school. Children that are reluctant or shy tend to open up to other children when they are enrolled in a group or team. The activities they do with other children will help them build relationships with these children and they will understand how to make new friends at school and in other places. Help your child make friends by inviting them over to play or going to a park with their family. Your child needs to make friends, not just acquaintances.

Tip # 6
- Help your child overcome their fears of intimidation or shyness. Some children are hesitant to break free of their comfort zone and interact with other children. This often happens to children that are new at the school or in the neighborhood. You can help them by enrolling in local organizations or attending local churches. Go to social gatherings and introduce your child to other children that are their age. You may need to stay by their side for a little while until they become comfortable. Encourage them to talk to other children by taking small, simple steps. Ask your child to say "hi" to 5 new people each day. Encourage them to sit by other children during lunchtime or play with other children at recess. Small steps will help them work toward building a relationship with the other children. When they return home for the day, talk to them about the other children they interacted with during the day and find out if they want to invite them over to play.

Tip # 7 - Work on your child's sportsmanship skills and help them become a team player. No one likes to be around someone that is selfish. Teach your child the importance of playing as a team and why they need to practice nice behavior even if they lose. Teach your child the activities that are popular at school so they can fit in if they are asked to play with other children. Encourage them to learn different games so they can invite their neighbors and other children to play with them.

Practice other skills with your child, like reading and math. Some children feel immense pressure to fit in with their peers and they may feel left-out if they cannot read as well as other children. Spending time with your child each day will help them practice their skills and they can keep up with other children their age. You also need to encourage fitness in your home. Take time each day to exercise with your child, go for a walk together and discuss things that your child learned at school. Teach your child how to ask other people questions to show them that they are listening and that they care about them.

Tip # 8
- Don't embarrass your child. While you may want to keep your child young forever, you need to understand that they are learning and growing. A hug and a kiss in front of their peers may have been fine in the first grade, but it's embarrassing by the third grade. Notice your child's behavior and try your best not to embarrass them in front of their peers.

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ftclick profile image

ftclick  says:
6 weeks ago

I only saw invaluable tips here for kids to succeed. Although, I did see a couple we could improve on so it is an excellent read. great hub!

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