Well, here we are again. Fancy meeting you here. I've got a few recent funny stories to share with you. As you have probably noticed, most of the funny stories I tell are based on things my little brothers have done. You gotta admit, kids are the most adorable and funniest little things. They are smarter than you and I, and worst of all, they know it! The kinds of things that come out of their mouths are so innocent, it can be quite hilarious.

So, without further ado, here are the most funniest recent events that have happened in my life!

There is no such thing as a child that likes the word "NO"... unless of course, it is directed at another child and/or sibling... I mean, then it's okay. My little brother Eric (currently 6) is no exception.

One night, Eric asked Mum if he could have a can of Pepsi. My mother said, "No Eric, you can have water, milk or a bit of cordial, but NO softdrink!" My step father was in the same room, watching TV.

Suddenly Eric burst out and said, "Well, you know what Mum? YOU'RE FIRED!"
"I'm fired?" Replied my mother.
"Yes, you heard me! You're fired! Now get out of my house!"
Mum shrugged, said, "okay, I'll leave" and headed for the front door. Meanwhile Adam (currently 5) was yelling, "No Mummy! Please don't leave! You can stay! Don't listen to Eric!"
Mum just kept saying, "Sorry Adam, you heard Eric. I've been fired, so I have to get out of his house..."

Mum went out into the front yard for about a minute and when she returned, Eric shouted, "I thought I fired you! What are you doing back in my house?!"
Mum responded, "Well Eric, that is fine. So, you can do the cooking, the cleaning, the washing, the..." Eric cut her off.
"No, no, NO silly, you aren't fired from doing that! You are just fired from telling me what to do! Oh, and saying NO!"

Kids, eh? Too clever and specific for their own good!

And I almost forgot to mention, my step father had given Eric a can of Solo while Mum was out of the house. My mother asked Eric where he got it from and he said "Dad!". My step father was there the whole time and you know what his excuse was? "Oh, I thought you just meant he couldn't have Pepsi...". Geez, Mum did say SOFTDRINK! Men...

Adam is 5 this year and is currently in Kindergarten. Apparently he has his whole life planned out. Go figure, eh?

One day, he came home with activity homework. He had a piece of paper with little boxes he had to draw pictures in. Each box was labelled with what he had to draw in them.

There was a box where he had to draw his family. A box for his favourite food. A box for his favourite colour, etc etc (I think you get what I mean now).

Anyway, he completed that, then his next task was to sit down and share it with the family. Mum pointed to each box, one at a time, and Adam told her what it was, who was in it, etc etc.

When Mum came to the box with the family in it, she pointed to each person as Adam told her who they were. "That's you, that's Daddy, that's Jaymee-Lee, that's Tom, that's Christopher, that's Eric, that's Luke, that's Max, that's Zach, that's me and that... that is Jenna!"
"Who's Jenna?" Mum asked, really confused.
"Jenna is my girlfriend and we are going to get married!" Adam replied in excitement.
"Oh really, Adam? And when is all this happening?"
"When we grow up! We are going to have heaps of kids too!"

For the rest of the day, he went around repeating that Jenna was his girlfriend and that they were going to get married when they grew up. Mum should really find out who this Jenna is, hunt her down and give her a talking to... afterall, I'm sure she wants to know who her future daughter-in-law is, and what her intentions are!

Okay, we all work with the odd strange person, right? Well, in my case, I work with a bunch of them (God love them)! As I have mentioned in previous hubs, I work in an all-male department. All the females work at the registers down the front, which is a totally different domain that us nightfillers must sometimes enter into.

Before I go on, let me just say that sexual harrassment is no joke and should not be poked fun at. This being said, I have never been treated by anyone at work, in a manner that has made me feel uncomfortable and/or wronged in any way. We just like to have fun at each others expense sometimes - who doesn't?

Anyway, as I was saying...

The females at the front end are mainly aged between 14 and 16 years of age. There is a the odd 20 something year old in there. Afterall, we need some maturity involved!

Unfortunately, a LOT of the younger girls look up to me. Whether it be because I have put up with all those silly guys for so many years, because I am the only girl in the department, or they are trying to use me as a way out of their department, and into mine, I shall never know! Point is, they would shine my shoes if I asked them to (hey, come to think of it, that's a great idea!).

Two girls in particular; Toni and Tahlia, are very... let's say... friendly...? So friendly that every now and then, their parents ask them, "are you sure you're not gay?". I mean, why would they ask that? They only go around public calling me sexy and groping me from time to time... I don't see the connection at all... *eye roll*

So there I was, at work, minding my own business. I was stocking up the drinks fridge, and I had Rosco (one of the guys from the front end) doing the same next to me. All was good, until I bent over. Next thing I knew, someone had grabbed me on the butt.

I jumped up, spun around to see who had done it, all the while thinking to myself, "boy, I hope I know the person that groped me, otherwise this could be awkward".

As I turned, the first person I saw was Rosco. He just looked at me in shock and replied, "hell no! Don't look at me!" So I shrugged and went to turn around and go back to work. As I did, I saw Toni at her register giggling away. She looked off to her left and sure enough, there was Tahlia, running away.

"GRRRR!" I said, before getting stuck back into what I was doing.

A few hours later, there I was, back at the drinks fridge. This time I was facing it up (it was the end of the night and we had to make all things look pretty).

Within 5 seconds of bending over to face the last of the drinks at the bottom, I felt a slap on the bum. "GRRRRRR! TAHLIA!!!"
"It wasn't me! I swear!" Tahlia replied.
"It was me - ahahahaha" Toni laughed.
"Figures. It had to be one of you closet dwellers..."
They began to walk off down to the staffroom, so I figured I was safe.
3 seconds later I felt a kick in the bum. "Oh great, who is it this time?!"
"Me!" answered a familiar voice. "Lee!" she laughed.
"Oh, well, that's just nasty. At least be nice like Toni and give me a slap next time, will you?"
We all began to laugh.

Butt (oops, typo) seriously, if you like having your bum tapped every time you bend over, come work where I do. It's free.

I'd tap that.

Yep, I'm a sucker for punishment. Oh well, let's you get a benefit out of it, so what's the harm? Stay tuned...!