Some thoughts on sex

O, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: "Now wait a minute here, mister! Speak for yourself". Well, I won't. I'll speak for you. Somebody has got to bring it out in the open, right? And I don't mind if that somebody has to be me.

Just face it. We are all preoccupied with sex. Some more, some less, but nevertheless. After all, you are reading this hub at this very moment. And your attention wouldn't have been drawn to this hub if it would be titled "Some thoughts on washing powder". Don't you deny it. You couldn't stop yourself from reading this hub. Your curiosity was aroused by the simple three letter word "sex". Am I right? Of course I am and you know it.

I guess by now you have reluctantly agreed a little. You're thinking: "all right, all right, I was triggered by the word sex. But that doesn't mean I'm obsessed by it". That's ok. We must all first go through the phase of denial before we can move on. And I'm here to help you get through that phase and come to acceptance. Don't thank me for it, it's my pleasure.

I'll share some of my recent observations with you. Knowing that you are not the only one, that there are more people acting the same will help you accept. And you are not alone, believe me. Just take a look at the hot hubs at any give moment. I guarantee you that you will find hubs about or with the words sex or sexy in the title quite easily. The "sexy list" will be a hot hub, if only for a couple of hours before disappearing into oblivion.

Within 48 hours my previous hub on sex (Quality in intimacy) became by far the hub with the most page views. It has been viewed 149% more often than the runner up. One-hundred-forty-nine percent, folks. And I wouldn't be surprised at all if this hub is going to break that record. I know you guys won't let me down on this one.

Scientific studies have shown positive effects of sex in various areas; physical, emotional and mental. For one, did you know sex will improve your sleeping? Studies have shown that orgasm causes a surge in the brain chemicals oxytocin and endorphins that may act as sedation. In addition having regular sex will also make you look younger. Now here's a pattern that we all want to get into, don't we? When you look younger, you feel better about yourself and are more attractive. When you're more attractive your chances of having sex increase. When you have sex more often, you look younger, etc. Without knowing it we have found the key to virtual eternal life! Or we just die looking like an infant. O what the heck, at least we enjoyed ourselves.

Yeah right. You really thought I would share my love making tips and tricks with you? Dream on. There's no way I am going to give away my own unique selling point, duhh.

Well, ok then. Maybe a few. To get you started. But after that you're on your own. And there are no guarantees, so don't come complaining if it doesn't work out for you the way you expected.

Three things are important. Did I say important? I meant crucial, obviously. Three things: empathy, trust and mutual respect. "Hey! What about love?" Some of you were thinking just that, weren't you? Well, love is a nice to have. But it's not essential for good sex. Trust me, I've been there. I've had very satisfying (and I mean really satisfying) sex with women I didn't love. There was a connection, there was chemistry, but I didn't love them. We knew in advance it was going to be a one or two time event, we were ok with that and we had great sex. So love is not on top of your list of ingredients.

You can't please the other if you don't have a clue about what the other person likes. And the other won't please you half as much if he or she is not experiencing pleasure. Pleasure works inspiring, motivating, stimulating. To put it plain and simple: you'll put in on more if you're hot. Come on, you know that. The best sex you had was when you were craving, longing desperately. You must give in order to get. Work your partner. Get her or him so hot they'll be begging to squeeze every last drop of ecstasy out of you.

O yeah, trust. You must feel completely confident. Unlimited pleasure calls for unlimited vulnerability. You should not feel restrained or held back to express (verbally, physically, and emotionally) your deepest desires and lust. So you must feel assured that the other accepts you and will not take advantage of you or laugh at you. You want your deepest and darkest desires fulfilled and so will your partner.

I don't need to elaborate on that, do I? Accept and respect that there will be differences. Your partner may not be into all of the freaky things you like and vice versa. And that's ok, you know? No problem. As long as you respect that, don't judge it and definitely don't make fun of it. You're cool. You're you. It's sooo seventies, but I'm going to say it anyway: I'm ok, you're ok. Really.